Happy THIRTEENTH birthday, Catherine Anna! How is that even possible? You made me a mom, and, in so many ways, we’ve grown up together.

I know you want to take some friends to an escape room and the mall to celebrate, but we obviously can’t do that right now in these social-distancing days. We’re going to make you grilled chicken, baked potatoes, squash and zucchini, and chocolate cake tonight. And we’ll keep on celebrating your precious life.

You finish seventh grade in two days. It’s been a great school year that got interrupted when we started non-traditional instruction days almost two months ago. But you’ve thrived anyway. You’ve learned alongside your school friends on Google Hangouts and Google Classroom. You’ve loved having some expanded access to technology at home and keep up with your friends that way.

You bravely started playing basketball this past winter. We pushed you a tiny bit to play on the school team when you expressed interest, but that’s all it took for you to go all in. You were part of your school’s first-ever middle school girls’ basketball team, which won some games and got beat by 30 in other games. I am incredibly proud of how you tried something new, got out on that court in front of a crowd, and had a great attitude regardless of the score. You improved with each practice and game, but, most importantly, I saw you belong on a team and find some common ground with your brother. I love watching you love something, and seeing that overflow into other parts of your life. You create art with basketballs on it. The dynamic in your small middle school class shifted as several of you and your friends bonded over your new sport love.

You’re an awesome big sister. You help mother Ben and Rachel — even when they don’t like it. I trust you to do what you say you’re going to do. You care about our family and how everyone fits together. You’re fun to play board games with, even if you regularly beat me in Splendor. With all this time at home lately, I’ve enjoyed watching musical reality shows with you. We’re making our way through The Voice, Songland, and The Masked Singer. Of course, I love watching and talking Survivor with you too.

Your faith is quiet but steady. You’re a reliable daughter, sister, and friend. You have lots of ideas — and most don’t revolve around keeping your room organized! But you are quick to help me make dinner or ask what you can do to help. I don’t understand your love of Crocs, scrunchies, or distressed jeans, but I’m obviously not as cool as you.

I love who you are, Cate. You’re easy to parent and a joy to be around. Just don’t be so hard on yourself.

Love, Mom

*****

Look back on Cate’s life through other letters and birthday posts: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Baptism. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.

In a dozen years of motherhood, I’m always surprised the milestones that get me. The usual ones – like losing her first tooth or sending her to kindergarten – haven’t really been the ones that make me teary. Cate turns 12 today, and it’s making me all kinds of nostalgic.

On the heels of my own 40th birthday, I’m just feeling extra mushy about my oldest turning a dozen years as she finishes sixth grade in NINE MORE school days. I say NINE MORE with much rejoicing. It’s been a good year, but we’re ready for Summer Break. No surprise there, I know.

Cate is a typical first-born girl in so many ways. She thinks about all the details, makes plans, and worries about what could happen. I see myself in her – which is both beautiful and frightening. This girl made me a momma 12 years ago and her adoption story has been pivotal in my faith journey.

I’m grateful we got to spend two days with her classmates in Frankfort last month. That time with just her in the car and the hotel room were a gift to my momma soul. She’s such a good friend and sister, although I’m often praying for her and Ben to focus on their common ground and not their differences. She thinks her brother and dad are loud (which they are sometimes) and she is like a second mother to Rachel, who is eight years younger. She’s clever and caring.

Happy birthday, sweet Cate. Some days I want to freeze time and other days I can’t see what to see what God does in you and through you.

*****

In honor of Cate’s 12 birthday, I thought I’d share 12 things about her:

1. She likes to stay up late and sleep in.

2. I thought I would be the mom who reads all the books before her kids did. Nope. Cate reads faster than anyone I know and remembers all the details.

3. She plays the piano, likes to ride horses, and jumps on the trampoline often.

4. Her birthday dinner of choice tonight is happening in my kitchen: Little cheesy meatloaves, homemade mac & cheese, roasted broccoli, crescent rolls, and Heath cake.

5. We’re going to celebrate her more this weekend – with a Harry Potter birthday party.

6. She’s thrilled we’re also going to Universal Studios in October because that’s where Harry Potter World is.

7. “Survivor” and “The Voice” are shows we watch together and I know she likes that time without her siblings.

8. She’ll craft anything – make slime, paint, sew, draw, write stories, and this past weekend she learned to make friendship bracelets.

9. She’s had braces on for about a year and a half and it’s amazing to see how her teeth have moved.

10. This year she claims history and drama as her favorite school subjects.

11. She’s passed me in shoe size. (She wears a size 9 now.)

12. She likes the color purple, sparkly things, and accessories.