I intended to share this on Mother’s Day, but in true motherhood fashion, my schedule didn’t necessarily go as planned last week, and I took some time to rest this weekend, so here I am. Better late than never, and motherhood spans all the days, not just the Hallmark ones. 

I held my week-old baby girl in my arms on my first Mother’s Day. The irony of it all was that I needed another woman to carry my daughter in her womb. You’d think that would teach me about unexpected plans and surrender. Three times that’s how God orchestrated being a mom for me. Adoption is beautiful, relational, and emotional. 

Yet somehow I used to think the best moms had all the answers and were really good puppeteers. But the older I’ve gotten, and the older my kids have gotten, the more I’ve learned that being humble and living with a posture of surrender is how to be the best mom. My kids are currently 19, 16, and 10 years old. It’s been a while since I held that first baby girl in 2007, and I still have a lot to learn. 

This Mother’s Day comes with realizing the value in surrendering to Jesus. (Let’s be honest, this isn’t a new lesson, but one God has to repeat to my heart over and over again.)

I have realized most of life isn’t black and white, and hardly any decisions are forever. Faith, marriage, and motherhood are the only absolutely forever commitments I have. Yes, I value faithfulness, but sometimes transformation is required. Sometimes changes surprise us, rock our world, and, ultimately, make us better people. 

I’ve gotten better about when to stay quiet and when to shout what I know to be true from the rooftops, but often real conversations happen in the middle of those two places. I wish I didn’t have to repeat myself, but then I remember God is patient and repetitive with me daily. Sometimes boundaries have to be adjusted, rules have to change, and plans tweaked. 

I am confident there isn’t a magic formula that works for every child, in every season, and with every situation. The puppeteer tendencies in me wish I could correct my teenager’s behavior, but I also see fruit from the hard seasons. Even if the fruit is slow in my teenager, I see it in myself, my marriage, and my family. 

When my kids were little, I could give them a Band-Aid to cover a scraped knee, hand them Goldfish when they were hangry, and require bedtime and naptime in a bed with bars. Now the needs are deeper: there are broken hearts, insecurities, questions that don’t really have answers, and ugly grief. Yet us moms keep showing up – sometimes doubting ourselves, sometimes forgetting God’s promises, and sometimes trying to fix the situation before we surrender to the One who truly can. 

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I really loved the sermon at our church yesterday, and I encourage you to listen to it if you are a mom, hope to become a mom, or even have a mom. Yes, basically, anyone should listen. And remember what is true: Disciple-Making Motherhood.

If you are interested in learning more about how I became a mom through adoption, I’ve shared our story in my first book, Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Faith.

Lastly, God authors the stories on our porches – in every season, wherever we are. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to  #PorchStories emails to receive them about every other week.