Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Creating Family Unity

January 4, 2021 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Our homes are supposed to be a place of refuge and comfort from outside forces, but sometimes it can seem like that takes a lot of effort. Helping to create a sense of unity and safety can help the atmosphere of your home be peaceful and loving instead of contentious – even with all the personalities in play at the same moment. Here are some ways you help make your house a home where all family members feel valued and important.

Commitment

It is important family members feel secure in their pace in the family and committed to helping others as well. Many times people will adopt an “everyone for themselves” mentality and that can chip away at the foundation of a family. Family members should be committed and loyal to other members of the family in helping them become their best selves and supporting them in their lives. For us, that has meant conversations about understanding one another’s love languages and personalities.

We strive to be committed to supporting each member’s emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. If we make this a top priority and goal for ourselves, other people will start to take the cues and adopt the behavior as well. Truthfully, while this prolonged season of social distancing has certain come with adjustments, it’s almost helped deepen our commitments to our family.

Compassion

We also need to act with compassion in our homes. Greg and I believe if compassion starts in our home, it will overflow into our other social circles and even among strangers in our ordinary lives. I’ve certainly been guilty of being the worst version of myself toward the people closest to me, but that ultimately threatens to harm the most important relationships in our lives. Unkind words, angry outbursts, pettiness, and jealousy can all sow deep seeds of distrust and unhappiness in our homes. As a mom, I’ve had to grow in this area along with my kids. I’m thankful for the grace that abounds when we mess up and as well learn together.

Greg and I want to teach our kids to genuinely caring about the struggles, difficulties, and fears each of us face. Allowing space for their sadness, even when we may not understand it, and celebrating victories with them is equally important to create a compassionate environment.

Communication

We need to be able to communicate effectively with our family members to build a sense of unity and deepen our relationships. As parents, we take on the responsibility for this. One way Greg and I have improved our communication is by having a shared Google Calendar. Knowing what’s happening logistically in our day-to-day lives at work and home helps foster even more conversations to keep us on the same page. We need to be informed about the communication they have with others. You can go to this blog article to read more about doing that.

We also need to focus on the communication that is happening in our homes with each other. With different personalities and preferences, we each have our own communication styles too. Good communication requires active listening. Listening to understand instead of to respond, asking for clarification, and offering support are all important to help someone be heard. We need to put down defensiveness and really try to understand someone if there is a disagreement instead of focusing on being understood.

Compromise

There will always be disagreements in any relationship, and family relationships are no exception. Healthy and unified families are always striving toward the best possible outcome for the family unit, and sometimes that will mean that individuals don’t get everything they were hoping to get. And usually that means making adjustments as seasons change, kids grow, and life happens.

Negotiation is healthy and should be encouraged. Considering the hopes and schedules of other family members will help them to feel loved and understood. When we compromise on some issues and take turns, we get what we want sometimes too and the family grows together. There needs to be a balance between striving to get what we want and supporting the other members of the family in their pursuits and desires.

Traditions

A great way to support family unity is through the use of family time and traditions. Embracing yearly traditions or weekly family time will allow family members to get to know each other and to build a relationship that will benefit everyone involved.

We have different traditions for birthdays, holidays, and ordinary days. None of them are elaborate, but they all anchor us to our place in this family and in our larger community of friends. Again, the Google Calendar helps Greg and I communicate about plans we want to make sure happen and don’t get lost in the busyness of life with kids and responsibilities.

Game Nights are some of our family times, and we often rotate who chooses which game we play next. This helps everyone feel included and get a chance to pick their favorite game. While we play games, we learn about each other, compete in good fun, and make memories.

(Here are many of our favorite games, if you need some recommendations.)

Christ

We can do all kinds of things to create a sense of unity and peace in our homes, but ultimately Christ is the center anchor of all this. When all members of the family are focused on drawing closer to Christ and living out our beliefs rooted in faith, we will automatically draw closer to each other as well.

We haven’t been to church since March, but we’ve been having home church in our living room. While it’s been different and involved adjustments on everyone’s part, the time we set aside on Sunday mornings has helped us learn more about Christ and each other. We’ve gotten to share in something Greg and I value in a new way together and God’s been faithful to meet us when we gather on the couches together, often in our pajamas.

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{Why} Motherhood Matters

September 1, 2017 by Kristin 9 Comments

I’ve been a little emotionally weary lately. I have a tween girl emotionally adjusting to a new season of life, an elementary-aged boy who I don’t always understand, and a toddler girl who is exploring every bit of the world around her.

They’re three of my most favorite people in the world, but that doesn’t mean mothering is easy.

I know in my head that being a mom – their mom, specifically – is the most important title I will ever know. But in the day-to-day organizing, cleaning, transporting, referring, teaching, and training, I sometimes lose sight of that.

September McCarthy’s words in “Why Motherhood Matters: An Invitation to Purposeful Parenting” spoke truth into my life right as my family settled back into a new school year, my oldest had a slate of new questions, my boy caught me by surprise again, and my youngest climbed out of her crib. As a home-educating mom of ten kids, this author brought understanding and encouragement to me through her words. I’m obviously not the only mom who has juggled her kids’ various seasons of life.

“Women, we are called to be sowers. Sowers. It sounds so mundane, doesn’t it? Planting seeds, bending low, tilling the ground, sifting the dirt, pruning, watering, and weeding. It takes time and hard work to plant and reap a harvest. We need one another if we are to remember to continue to work with an end in sight, even when life seems fruitless or desperate. The heart and understanding we take into motherhood will affect our vision, our purpose, and our outcome. We don’t need to suffer through God’s calling on our lives.”

– September McCarthy in “Why Motherhood Matters”

We aren’t to suffer through motherhood. Sure, some days will be harder than others. We will have to make hard decisions, say no when we want to say yes, draw boundaries the kids don’t understand, and walk through heartbreaking circumstances.

God promises us peace and joy while we mother.

{Tweet that.}

Really.

I know, I forget that sometimes too.

But September reminded me in her book that is filled with some of her reflections on raising ten kids, truth straight from the pages of the Bible, and practical application to what that may look like in your real life. She keeps the big picture in view while relating it to what mommas do with their everyday lives.

I want to reread this book and give it to all the moms because we are the mood makers and world changers, right here from our homes.

“Women can ignite happiness, spark anger, diffuse arguments, and lift the fog of discouragement in any atmosphere. Mothers are mood makers, and it is our job to set the tone in the lives of those we are given to steward. It may seem daunting, but it is truly a gift. … Mothers, imagine the power over the nations, the generations, if you are willing to model and speak peace into the very fiber of your home and your children. It will be life changing.”

– September McCarthy in “Why Motherhood Matters”

I want this refreshed perspective to be life changing – for me and the ones I’m raising.

 

About the book

As a mom for 25 years who continues to raise young children and love her young adults, September McCarthy imparts words of wisdom and grace about getting honest with your family about your need for Jesus, learning to take care of your kids – and yourself, raising a new generation with creativity and character, and speaking to the heart of your children in unique ways. In these pages, you’ll find anecdotes and gentle guidance for those moments you need both a breather and a lifeline. Motherhood is an incredible labor of love—and in the scope of eternity, it matters.

This 256-page paperback is officially available from Harvest House Publishers today. Learn more about it at the book’s website.

About the author

September McCarthy believes every woman needs someone to speak into her life with understanding and truth. She encourages women in each season of motherhood through her blog One September Day and her ministry Raising Generations Today. As a speaker and writer, her vision and mission are for the generations. September lives in rural Upstate New York with her husband and their large family.

Giveaway

I’m thrilled to be able to give one of you a copy of this fabulous book! In the comments just tell me why motherhood matters to you and you’ll be entered to win. Earn an extra entry by sharing this post on the social media of your choice and come back here to let me know you did. A winner will be randomly chosen on Friday, Sept. 8.

*****

I received a free advanced copy of this book from Sidedoor Communications in exchange for reviewing it. These opinions are my own – and some of my momma friends really are going to be gifted this book.

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Parenting more like Jesus

January 23, 2017 by Kristin 3 Comments

“Parenting with Grace and Truth” by Dan Seaborn is a good handbook for moms and dads to use to direct them to the Bible. It’s full of scripture references, practical information, stories, questions to consider, and encouragement to stay the course of raising our kids to know Jesus.

Personally, I especially appreciated the third chapter – “The Truth About Discovering Your Children’s Unique Talents and Abilities” – and how that section affirmed my belief teaching opportunities aren’t limited to organized activities. Playing board games and eating meals around the table matter.

In our family, I’m hesitant to commit to many regular activities. Ben typically plays soccer in the spring and fall. Cate has played soccer in the past, but she stopped when she wanted to take horseback riding lessons. She would still like to do that; we just haven’t put it in our schedule lately but will again. We also like to do things as a family. On weekends and in the evenings after school, we don’t split up much.

God calls us to community. Greg and I believe our first priority is to our family of five and then we can go out from there, together. This book affirmed that for me.

(This book echoed some points from “Parenting” by Paul David Tripp. That book rocked my parenting world, so I’ll consider that a good thing!)

“Parenting with Grace and Truth” also reminded me how parents are the ones who define success for their kids. Does winning a soccer championship take priority over login generously by giving of our time, money, and things? What do our kids see us doing? That’s how success is defined, so choosing what we emphasize in our everyday lives matters.

Admittedly, I sometimes get caught up in the nagging commands: Clean your room. Put away your clothes. Do your homework. But then there are times I lay with my first-grade boy in his bed and read the latest Jack and Annie adventure to him and I am relieved to spend my time that way instead of blurting out commands. I want to trade my natural authoritarian parenting style to ways that are more like Jesus.

I want my default to change
so my kids can see Jesus in me.

{Tweet that.}

“Our job as parents is to raise our children to be servants of God and to do everything we can to thoroughly equip them for every good work. … We sometimes get confused and think our job as parents is to raise an Olympic athlete, a scholar, or perhaps the next president of the United States. When we think in those terms, we are putting more focus on what our children are going to do in life than on who they will become.” – Dan Seaborn

That’s what leading and loving our kids like Jesus is ultimately about – and this book brings perspective to that.

About the book

In “Parenting with Grace and Truth,” Dan Seaborn takes parents into the Bible to help them understand Jesus’ character, explains how He models grace and truth, and teaches them how to apply Jesus’ example to their parenting. Specifically, he explores how to build character in your children, the truth about discovering your child’s unique talents and abilities, how to parent your family through a crisis, and what it means to be an effective parent. He also shares how grace isn’t letting a child off the hook, but instead, loving them through their mistakes, and discusses what “normal” parenting looks like (even if the experts or your friends tell your differently).

Seaborn also takes parents through a helpful discussion of their parenting styles and explains why Jesus’ parenting style is best. He gives readers a very personal look into his own family’s story, particularly the many challenges he and his wife faced with their youngest child. He also spends time considering the needs of blended families and the unique roles of mom and dad in parenting. At the end of each chapter, Seaborn includes several questions to consider about your own parenting relative to the topic.

“Parenting with Grace and Truth” is a 224-page paperback published by Barbour Publishing/Shiloh Run Press (January 2017). It’s available on Amazon and wherever else books are sold.

About the author

Dan Seaborn is a former pastor, director of the marriage and family division of the American Association of Christian Counselors, founder of Winning At Home, and father of four. He encourages individuals and families to lead Christ-centered homes. His practical illustrations and memorable real-life examples teach others how to win at home. Through energetic and memorable presentations, Dan talks openly about family life — often by revealing his own struggles or failures. His sincerity leaves audiences nodding in agreement and his quick wit leaves them laughing, but ultimately it is Dan’s commitment to God and family that captivates and challenges listeners of all ages. He’s been a featured speaker at various churches and large-scale events such as Promise Keepers weekends, American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) conferences, and university assemblies. He also has authored 12 books.

In 1995, Dan founded Winning At Home, Inc., an organization that produces media resources and hosts special events to develop marriages and families. Dan also serves as the Director for the Marriage & Family Division of the AACC. Prior to founding Winning At Home, Dan served at a large church in Michigan as pastor of student ministries and then as pastor of family life. He and his wife Jane have four children and live in West Michigan. Learn more at www.winningathome.com.

Giveaway

I’ve got a copy to give one of you! Use the Rafflecopter below for multiple ways to enter. A winner will be randomly selected Monday, Jan. 30.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*****

I received an advanced copy of “Parenting with Grace and Truth” in exchange for a review, thanks to Sidedoor Communications on behalf of the publisher, which is also providing the winner with a copy.

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our eighth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear fifth-grade boy, and our joy-filled preschool girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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