Throughout the years, we’ve always talked about their infant adoptions with our kids. Even so, I think their stories come with a fair amount of fantasizing about what their biological families look like, physically and in every other way. Generally, open adoption seems messy, but I’ve also been blessed to see the beauty.

Cate met her birth mom when she was 6. Circumstances with the mutual loved ones who were our initial connection put us all in the same place, so it was a natural progression. It was wonderful for Cate to put a face with a name. Over the next few years, she saw her birthmom a few more times and could reach out to her today, if need be. Her biological maternal grandparents send birthday cards and gifts each year. 

Ben, 15, hasn’t met his birth mom, but, throughout the years, he has met some biological people: a half-brother, a half-sister, and a maternal grandpa. I think even just knowing they exist and how they fit into his story has been beneficial for him as he processes his story of becoming a Taylor. 

Rachel, who is 10, asked ot meet her birth mom for years because I felt like the time was right. I reached out to her birth mom as Rachel’s 10th birthday approached and asked what she thought about us taking her to dinner. She was all for it. We found a good time in September and met at Rachel’s favorite restaurant. Her sweet birth mom brought her a birthday present, and the two of them asked and answered lots of get-to-know-you questions about favorites, movies, shows, family, and experiences. It was a sweet time that I felt privileged to witness.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. I recognized adoption is complicated and beautiful. The goodness that comes from building families this way starts with grief every single time. I’m thankful for my kids’ stories, the faithfulness of their biological families in loving them from afar, and the opportunities we’ve had to build relationships through open adoptions. 

I also realize every adoption story is different. I can quickly draw some parallels in my kids’ individual stories, but there are plenty of differences too. Adoption is relational in every sense, and that means each birth mom is her own person. Likewise, each child processes adoption differently as they grow up. 

My kids, who were raised in the same house over the past 18 years, each have been affected differently by adoption. The circumstances that brought them to us were also unique. Their brain development in the womb, God-given personalities, and childhood experiences give them a perspective that is unlike anyone else’s – and that’s both beautiful and challenging. I don’t know parenting apart from these three kids who came to us through the gift from other women. 

Adoption Resources

• Beyond the Home Study podcast – I got to be a guest on this. It’s a wonderful resource for adoptive families and those who love them. You can listen to my interview and other episodes on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. 
• Hope that Binds – This western Kentucky ministry is near and dear to our hearts.
• Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family – This book is my family’s story of becoming a family and shares my faith journey to becoming a mom. Read a sample chapter. 

Other resources, including lists of books, grants, and past blog posts, are available on my website. I also previously wrote about my firstborn daughter meeting her birth mom in 2013.

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God authors the stories on our porches – in every season. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to  #PorchStories emails to receive them about every other week.