Seventeen

Seventeen doesn’t seem monumental. It falls right between being able to drive a car on the actual road and being deemed an official adult. Yet somehow 17 feels big to me right now. 

So much of Cate’s birth is wrapped up in my own testimony of drawing nearer to God than before and discovering peace that truly passed my own understanding. I didn’t know what I was doing when we drove away from that Bloomington, Indiana, hospital when she was less than 24 hours old. I didn’t know what I was doing when we stayed just across the river, waiting for Kentucky to give us the clearance to come home with this baby God gave us. 

Honestly, I’m still not always sure of what I’m doing, but I look at Cate’s life and see God’s goodness. He made me a mom and grew my faith in a new profound way 17 years ago. (I wrote a whole book about this piece of our family’s story as well as the stories where God gave us two other babies.)

I’m sure 18 will feel monumental in a year. But, right now, I want to savor this. I want to pause here and soak it all in because, goodness, all these 17 years have gone so so quickly. 

I miss having Cate ride in the front seat of my minivan to school, to practice, home from school, to run errands, or wherever else we’re going. Ben is glad he gets to ride up front more now. But that front seat fosters prime conversation and I miss our “chit chat,” as Rachel called it. 

But I love seeing her thrive. She loves God and seeks His will in her daily life. She’s a leader among her peers. She’s fun. She works hard. She’s easy for me because she’s a lot like me. 

I didn’t pray for a kid to be like me. I just prayed to get the chance to have a baby – and I probably should have prayed more about who this baby would become. This baby came to me in a way I never expected, but our connection and similarities are a sweet gift from God. 

When so much of motherhood has stretched me, parenting this girl has been a joy – and I’m thankful she’s not officially a grown-up, yet. I’m thankful she talks about going to Murray State, where she plans to live on campus but bring her friends to our house for meals and pool time. I’m thankful she tells me about her day with texts throughout the day and bedtime conversations when she puts Greg and me to bed. I’m thankful for who God has created her to be long before I knew she’d be my girl. 

Catherine Anna, you’re a joy and a gift to many. I’m so grateful I get to be your mom. 

*****

Look back on her life: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Baptism. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.