Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Sharing lives & gifts

by 10 Comments

November is National Adoption Awareness so I wanted to combine my loves of adoption and hospitality in today’s post. Truly, adoption taught me much about hospitality as we navigated three similar but different open adoptions, accidentally built a community of other adoptive & foster moms, and continue to teach our kids about the value of sharing our lives.

This is a fun post! I’ve got an edited excerpt from “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories of Gathering & Nourishing People” to share with you. And then I have THREE GIVEAWAYS (!!!) of my books plus so many goodies from other mommas in my adoption community.

*****

Some of the friends I see the most in this parenting season are other parents from my big kids’ school. We chat at pickups, sit next to each other at games, carpool to field trips, and bring treats to the same classroom parties. We invest in our kids’ lives but come away with a deeper community too. So then we also make plans to see each other in the summer when our lives aren’t revolving around the school calendar, celebrating birthdays together and confiding in one another when we’re having hard days. Of course, all this looks different these days, thanks to COVID-19.

Investing in friendships with like-minded moms has helped me navigate motherhood. Sometimes this is a weary job! But raising kids is a worthwhile investment that takes time over the course of lots of seasons. Galatians 6:9 is a good reminder for me: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

I’ve heard this before, but it struck me in a new way when I was stretched among three parenting seasons. These words reminded me that with each conversation, boundary, ride home from school, and correction, I’m investing in my kids and the life we’re building together for God’s glory. Having friends in similar parenting seasons, as well as ones a few steps ahead of me, reminds me all the mental energy we’re investing is worth it.

More recently, parenting has involved conversations about cell phones, sleepovers, and vacations; discipline regarding grades and attitudes; and training and establishing habits. Yes, you can play basketball; no, you can’t have a cell phone. Yes, you can go over to her house after school, but you can’t spend the night.

I’ve talked with like-minded friends, many of whose kids are my kids’ classmates, and discussed with my husband, who thankfully lives on the same page with these things. Articles have affirmed why my kids won’t have cell phones anytime soon and why we don’t do sleepovers, but they’ve also reminded me living counter-culturally is hard but not beyond where God has called us, especially if we bring others with us.

My others have come as I befriended my kids’ friends’ parents, but also through engaging in shared activities with others. I have a group of fellow writer friends who first gathered online and then at my lake house for a retreat. We talk and text on Voxer almost every day. We came together initially to share each other’s writing and products, but we ended up praying together through lots of hard situations, discussing various parenting seasons, sifting through theological questions we didn’t always agree upon, and sharing details of our daily lives. We still root each other on in our craft, but we also consider each other dear friends.

I also have a group of Bible study girls. We sat down at the same table as part of a larger group, but as we studied scripture together, we shared pieces of our lives. We’ve had playdates at the park with our young kids and gathered at my pool when Bible study is on summer break. A few of those girls were among the first people with whom I shared my complicated grief when my dad died. Delana could be our mom and loves to cook for us. We sent gift cards to Leslie when she miscarried a baby and to Tara when she was sick. We prayed for kids and decisions and families. We recommend books to each other and check in on each other when we’ve gone too many days without touching base.

These groups of friends began on specific common ground and have continued to be a foundation in my life because we went beyond that initial reason for gathering. Maybe it’s not writing or studying the Bible. It could be any hobby or interest that brings you together with others you may not have otherwise known.

*****

Now for the THREE GIVEAWAYS! I asked in my Adoption Together group about possible gifts to share with y’all and so many people responded that we’re going to have two giveaways for people who live in the Murray, KY area and another for someone who lives elsewhere:

GIVEAWAY ONE!

GIVEAWAY TWO!

GIVEAWAY THREE!

Use the Rafflecopter widget below before Friday, Nov. 13 to enter to win one of these packs of goodies! The first two prize packages are for folks in the Murray, KY area and the third is for any U.S. resident.

Enter giveaway here!

*****

This is the second in a monthly series about why hospitality matters in every season. Be sure to download the free printable with ideas about how to welcome others into your home and your life regardless of the season.

Hospitality matters in October

by 2 Comments

Hello, friends! And hello, fall! My new book “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories About Gathering & Nourishing People” is divided by seasons, so I wanted to start this new season with an excerpt. This also kicks off a monthly series about why hospitality matters in every season. Stay tuned for fun giveaways, practical tips, and free resources!

*****

Hospitality makes others feel at home when it happens in the midst of real life. - Kristin Hill Taylor, Bringing Home More Than Groceries #morethangroceries

Katie moved next door to me in October of 1990 and my life hasn’t been the same since. She befriended the school principal’s daughter and I was happy to have a new kid in the neighborhood. We didn’t realize we were building a lifelong friendship. At the time, we ate Circus Peanuts, drank Dr Pepper, joked about fruitcake, and consumed more than our share of Hometown Pizza and Dairy Queen Blizzards.

When we met, she was 10 and I was 11. Now we’re grown-ups who do frequent grocery shopping for our own families at two Kroger stores that are too far away from each other.

One time Katie sent me a card—yes, we sometimes still use the Postal Service to communicate—that says, “Sometimes I’ll think about something you said, and I’ll laugh, and then other people choosing tomatoes at the grocery store will wonder what’s so funny about that tomato. (Open card.) You’re good for me.” And I laughed. Out loud. More than once. That’s how we are. We really are good for each other and nobody thinks I’m funnier than Katie does.

Strangely but sweetly enough, my husband is distantly related to Katie, thanks to their common roots in a very small western Kentucky town. He once described us once as friends who make each other laugh at things nobody else would think are funny. We have inside jokes that drag on for decades, sometimes to the point we don’t remember their origin or point. But we still laugh. And even though we haven’t lived in the same town for more than half our friendship, I still know she’d rather have a short grocery list with so few items she can carry them all with a handheld basket, certainly without a cart. Just picturing her juggling a carton of orange juice, a gallon of milk, and cartons of ice cream makes me laugh.

In the fifteen months I was a mom before she was, I told her more than once how when she had a child, juggling these items wouldn’t be possible—regardless of how strong and crafty she was. That baby probably will weigh about eight pounds from the beginning. Add in the weight of the baby carrier moms inevitably have to carry into the store because their babies fall asleep on the shortest of drives. And, well, the orange juice and ice cream just have to find a home in the cart.

She learned, like all us moms do about something. She now mothers two boys and manages to keep them fed.

Through all the seasons, Katie has been in my life, even if many miles have separated us almost all of our adult lives. Grown-up life sure has its obstacles but they’re easier to navigate with friends by our side—wherever they live.

Here are some simple, practical ways to stay connected and close the distance that physically separates loved ones:

  1. Use social media to spark real conversations. Conversations may happen in emails, text messages, phone calls or Facebook messages, but they go deeper than what’s happening on a public profile. Ask questions, swap stories, or continue previous conversations on a personal level. Maintaining long-distance friendships is certainly aided greatly by technology, but you still have to make an investment.
  2. Send care packages and real mail. Yes, do it for birthdays or other special dates. But also do it just because.
  3. Invite them over. Long-distance friends may not be conveniently located in your same town, but you can still invite them over. Get dates on the calendar and make plans. Another Katie in my life has become a faithful summer visitor to our house. In the winter, we make summer plans by setting aside a weekend for our families to spend together.
  4. Be willing to go see them. When we go on a road trip, often prompted by a particular event, I try to schedule dates with other friends who live in that area. It doesn’t mean I can always see everyone I hope to see, but it’s worth trying to connect over a meal.
  5. Tell your kids about these friends. My kids adore some of my out-of-town friends. So when we do get to see them, they’re just as excited as I am. And they adore the grown-up friends too when they know they’re like family.
  6. If you can’t be there physically, send something. When my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly a decade ago, some out-of-town friends journeyed to our small town to grieve our loss and celebrate his life with us. Others couldn’t be here, which is understandable, but they sent flowers, pictures frames, cards, and texts of prayers. Celebrate happier moments together across the miles too.

Yes, I’d love to be neighbors with Katie again, but that’s not likely to happen, so we’ll cherish the time we get to sit close on the couch and then continue connecting as we can to build upon our much-valued history.

*****

Free resource!

I have a pretty (and free!) printable called Hospitality For Any Season for y’all! Hospitality matters regardless of what season you’re living, so I share practical ways to open your heart and home to others.

Download it here!

AND THERE’S A FUN GIVEAWAY happening over on Instagram just through tomorrow (Oct. 16, 2020). Join me there to enter to win a copy of my book and “Daily Acts of Friendship” by women at The Ruth Experience.

Of course, “Bringing Home More Than Groceries” is also available on Amazon or directly from me. To get an autographed copy directly from me, send $10 (plus $5 is shipping is needed) via PayPal to kristinhilltaylor@gmail.com and I’ll get you a copy delivered to your front porch or mailbox. Learn more about the book, read a sample chapter, and see who endorsed it.

The cost of postponing a mission trip

by Leave a Comment

UPDATE: In a Twitter conversation with American Airlines customer service, I learned I could get full vouchers without having new travel dates. When I called American Airlines to officially cancel our tickets this morning, that customer service representative said our tickets were eligible for a full refund! That’s better news than I was expecting, and I’m grateful for the accommodations that were made. The airline turned out to be more helpful than the travel agent who specializes in humanitarian travel. At least now I know for next time.

We have to indefinitely postpone our mission trip to Guatemala, again, thanks to COVID-19. And we are going to lose $1,800, thanks to American Airlines.

In the spring of 2019, we started planning to lead a short-term mission team to Guatemala with our friends who serve as Bethel Ministries International. We prayed, raised money, collected household and school items to give away, and watched God assemble a team of 12 people – five adults and seven kids. The plan was to build two houses, distribute 50 wheelchairs, and visit about 20 families during our families’ Spring Break, which would have been in April 2020.

A couple of weeks before, as our country and others shut down, we had to postpone this trip. At the time, October seemed far enough removed from the worldwide pandemic. Of course, we’ve since realized that’s not happening next week like planned.

Yes, Guatemala borders are technically open. With a negative COVID test, we could get into Guatemala City. But that’s just too risky for us and the people we want to serve. There are local COVID precautions here in rural Kentucky as well as rural Guatemala where we’d be serving that make this trip not viable right now.

That’s disappointing, obviously, but understandable. One, there’s a risk of having to quarantine in a foreign country with parts of three families still in the U.S. and not with our team. Plus there’s no vaccine yet to offer another layer of protection for us and the Guatemalans who struggled with malnutrition and limited access to healthcare before this coronavirus altered our world.

Making plans these days, especially too many months in advance, is difficult now. So many uncertainties exist, especially when considering traveling to a developing nation with an at-risk population. Of course, this also makes us want to help the more. We’ve been able to send some money to aid Bethel Ministries in the work the missionaries are continuing to do.

With that said, we don’t have dates set for our next attempt at a mission trip. And without travel dates set before the end of 2021, American Airlines won’t refund our tickets in full because of the type of ticket we bought. We were trying to be good stewards of the money people donated and sacrificed for us to go, but now we are going to lose $150 per ticket, so $1,800 total for the 12 tickets we purchased in January, well before we knew COVID was going to be a disruption.

In Guatemala, that $1,800 could provide so much relief. Specifically, the money we are just wasting with American Airlines would provide:

  • a month’s worth of food for 36 families,
  • six triple bunk beds for families who sleep on dirt floors,
  • eight wood cook stoves that pipe the smoke out of the house,
  • a good portion of a metal house with concrete floors, or
  • twenty-one wash stations that have sinks and holding tanks for water.

I understand COVID has been hard on every single business, ministry, and family in some way. I know people’s livelihoods are at stake. But I also know we have a team of people willing to go serve when the time is right. My hope is American Airlines would just let us leave our tickets open for when we have dates, like a great big team voucher.

The question isn’t if we will go but when. And that’s uncertainty I have to go be okay with. I wish American Airlines could be too.