Hello, 15!

Happy birthday to my boy! 

Fifteen doesn’t seem like a big deal nestled between becoming a teenager and learning to drive a vehicle on the actual road, but somehow fifteen still seems monumental. And, honestly, I’m glad to move on from the last year when a perfect storm of ADHD, medicine side effects, hormones, identity struggles complicated by adoption, and general middle school woes hung around my boy’s life.

“… Oh, I don’t know / What’s around the bend / Oh, all I know / Is that my love / It knows no end …”

I love birthdays. I love marking time and growth and possibilities. But I don’t know that Ben loves birthdays as much as I do, which, honestly, has been a hard realization for me to have. But it’s also okay. 

The parenting advice is loud these days, but I really do agree with one piece I’ve heard throughout the years: Become an expert in your kids. Understand their personalities. Recognize their strengths. Pray for their weaknesses. Create boundaries that make sense for them.

Doing that this year with my middle boy has been a whole study of its own, but I’m so grateful for how far he’s come. And, honestly, me too. I’ve grown as a person because I get to be Ben’s mom. And isn’t that really how life is supposed to be?

Even deciding on how to celebrate his 15th birthday was a whole endeavor. I threw out several birthday options: A big ‘ole party. An outing to an escape room with friends. Dinner with friends. Camping out with some guys. Going somewhere else with some guys. He decided on a low-key day with his family. We went shopping in Paducah and enjoyed hibachi for dinner. My alarm went off at 2:56 pm while we were checking out at Academy Sports so we could celebrate the moment this boy came into the world.

I told some friends recently how I love seeing Ben’s gifts come out in ordinary life. He thrives with a job or task. He’s so good with younger kids – funny yet responsible. He’s quick to put something together, handle technical difficulties, and volunteer to help a teacher. He’s filming the varsity girls’ basketball this season, which is a good role for him because he will be there anyway with his dad coaching, his sister playing, and his mom being the accidental athletic director. He loves Red Bull (which I let him have about twice a year), pestering his younger sister, and his dog Balto. 

Life with Ben hasn’t necessarily been what I expected as his mom, but God has been there both in the midst of the surprises and the ordinary days. We’ve grown and changed and settled into where we’re created to be. 

Happy birthday to the boy who keeps me on my toes, finally likes to sleep in, and is generally up for whatever adventure comes our way. I truly wouldn’t be the same without you, Benjamin Lucas. I’m forever on your side – and I’m thankful God is with us both. 

*****

The song quoted throughout and linked in the last paragraph is “I’m Forever On Your Side” by Needtobreathe and has been part of the soundtrack of motherhood for me, especially this past year. I share more of Ben’s story in my book “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon.

Look back on my boy’s life: 1 year old. 2 years old. 3 years old. 4 years old. 5 years old. 6 years old. 7 years old. 8 years old. 9 years old. 10 years old. 11 years old. 12 years old. 13 years old. 14 years old.