• The surrender of motherhood

    ByKristin faith, holiday, motherhood

    I intended to share this on Mother’s Day, but in true motherhood fashion, my schedule didn’t necessarily go as planned last week, and I took some time to rest this weekend, so here I am. Better late than never, and motherhood spans all the days, not just the Hallmark ones. 

    I held my week-old baby girl in my arms on my first Mother’s Day. The irony of it all was that I needed another woman to carry my daughter in her womb. You’d think that would teach me about unexpected plans and surrender. Three times that’s how God orchestrated being a mom for me. Adoption is beautiful, relational, and emotional. 

    Yet somehow I used to think the best moms had all the answers and were really good puppeteers. But the older I’ve gotten, and the older my kids have gotten, the more I’ve learned that being humble and living with a posture of surrender is how to be the best mom. My kids are currently 19, 16, and 10 years old. It’s been a while since I held that first baby girl in 2007, and I still have a lot to learn. 

    This Mother’s Day comes with realizing the value in surrendering to Jesus. (Let’s be honest, this isn’t a new lesson, but one God has to repeat to my heart over and over again.)

    I have realized most of life isn’t black and white, and hardly any decisions are forever. Faith, marriage, and motherhood are the only absolutely forever commitments I have. Yes, I value faithfulness, but sometimes transformation is required. Sometimes changes surprise us, rock our world, and, ultimately, make us better people. 

    I’ve gotten better about when to stay quiet and when to shout what I know to be true from the rooftops, but often real conversations happen in the middle of those two places. I wish I didn’t have to repeat myself, but then I remember God is patient and repetitive with me daily. Sometimes boundaries have to be adjusted, rules have to change, and plans tweaked. 

    I am confident there isn’t a magic formula that works for every child, in every season, and with every situation. The puppeteer tendencies in me wish I could correct my teenager’s behavior, but I also see fruit from the hard seasons. Even if the fruit is slow in my teenager, I see it in myself, my marriage, and my family. 

    When my kids were little, I could give them a Band-Aid to cover a scraped knee, hand them Goldfish when they were hangry, and require bedtime and naptime in a bed with bars. Now the needs are deeper: there are broken hearts, insecurities, questions that don’t really have answers, and ugly grief. Yet us moms keep showing up – sometimes doubting ourselves, sometimes forgetting God’s promises, and sometimes trying to fix the situation before we surrender to the One who truly can. 

    *****

    I really loved the sermon at our church yesterday, and I encourage you to listen to it if you are a mom, hope to become a mom, or even have a mom. Yes, basically, anyone should listen. And remember what is true: Disciple-Making Motherhood.

    If you are interested in learning more about how I became a mom through adoption, I’ve shared our story in my first book, Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Faith.

    Lastly, God authors the stories on our porches – in every season, wherever we are. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to  #PorchStories emails to receive them about every other week.

  • What Advent is teaching me

    ByKristin faith, holiday

    Advent arrived quietly on the last day of November. I had eaten leftover chocolate pie just the morning before, and now it was time to carry gratitude in the next season of sparkling lights, white elephant gift exchanges, and to-do lists. I had plans to read through one Advent devotional this year, but then I changed my plan on the second day of Advent (hello, Monday) because I heard my favorite Bible study writers at Precept International put together scriptures I wanted to read through and questions to prompt personal application. (It’s available online and for free!)

    Every year, I tell myself I’ll slow down enough to pay attention. And every year, it feels like December has its own agenda: busy, loud, urgent. But this year feels different. I’ve let go of some responsibilities that have opened up my calendar and given me more time at home to be a wife and mom. I’m clinging to God in a fresh way, perhaps because life has loosened my grip on the control I too often yearn for. 

    This year, the beginning of Advent has been teaching me something different, not in a dramatic way, but in a gentle, persistent whisper.

    1. Waiting isn’t wasted

    I’m usually impatient for the next thing – next event, next answer, next step. And I like putting plans on my calendar. But Advent keeps reminding me that God does some of His deepest work in the waiting. The world waited centuries for a Savior. I can wait a few weeks, or even a season, trusting that the waiting itself is forming something in me that will draw me closer to my Creator and Savior. 

    2. Small beginnings matter

    Finding God in big breakthroughs and huge celebrations isn’t too hard, but Advent is the story of a King who arrived quietly, in a small town, in the most ordinary way imaginable. He was born where animals usually lie. Talk about simplicity. This has challenged me to pay attention to the small, faithful things: the prayer whispered while doing dishes, the kindness no one sees, the simple “yes” to what God puts in front of me. 

    3. Peace doesn’t require perfection

    December often feels like a juggling act with schedules, emotions, and expectations. Yet the angels announced peace into a world that was politically tense, socially divided, and spiritually longing. Peace came anyway. Peace came from God alone – and He knew full well the brokenness in the world then and now. This reminds me that I don’t need my calendar or my home or my heart to be perfectly arranged to experience the peace Jesus brings. Peace is a Person, not circumstances, plans, or even a well-themed gift. 

    4. Hope grows with space

    Advent asks me a simple question: Is there room for Jesus here? The innkeeper didn’t have room. And likewise, I’ve been guilty of shutting Jesus out. But He belongs in my mind, my margins, my routines, and certainly my calendar. Making space doesn’t have to be complicated. I’ve been trying with five quiet minutes in the morning after the kids are ushered to school, a prayer before I respond in frustration, and a pause before I rush out the door again. And sometimes the space comes when God forces it, like when a child tests positive for COVID and needs a couple of days at home. Or when the teenager has counseling and I have enough time to do two devotions on the Advent reading plan I started late. 

    Whether planned or not, these moments leave enough room for hope to take root. 

    5. Light shines brightest in the dark

    This season always brings moments of heaviness and grief from the year we’ve just lived. Yet Advent flips the script: light isn’t intimidated by darkness. It pierces it. This is reminding me that I don’t have to hide the parts of my life that feel dark or unfinished. Jesus came because of them.

    Advent isn’t asking me to try harder or do more this year. It’s inviting me to look up, slow down, and remember that God is already at work in small things, quiet places, ordinary days, and imperfect people.

    And somehow, that reminder feels like exactly the gift I needed this December. 

    *****

    God authors the stories on our porches – in every season. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to  #PorchStories emails to receive them about every other week.

  • Holiday Gift-Giving Guide

    ByKristin faves, holiday

    Y’all, I do not understand why Black Friday sales are lots of different days, many of which aren’t even Friday. Even so, I joined the online influencer club and created a gift guide for you. Happy shopping and merry Christmas!

    Accessories

    Bombas socks – I know, they’re kind of expensive. But I love how the ankle socks feel on my feet and in my shoes. 

    Crossbody bag – I have loved this Lululemon one for a while, but I found an even better and cheaper one on Amazon. Truly, hooray for liking the off-brand one better!

    Madewell bag with flower strap – My friend Ashlee carries this Madewell bag and I loved it so much I bought it too. I didn’t love the thin strap on it. I probably put too much stuff in my “medium tote.” But I bought a wide, pretty strap on Amazon and it makes the bag nearly perfect. 

    Sweatshirt jacket – You know how it is with teenagers and coats, but, really, I can’t blame them because I don’t like to wear coats either. My boy has long loved these warm, zip-up sweatshirt jackets. So, yep, I got another one in the next size. 

    Books

    Audible – If you know someone who likes to listen to books as they drive around or do chores at home, consider gifting a subscription like this. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it. 

    Book light – I read on my Kindle a lot, but I have a book light just in case I want to stay up later than Greg. I like this book light because it charges and doesn’t require batteries. 

    Book of the Month – Way better than Jelly of the Month, this gives the gift each time your loved once received a blue box with an early or new release they’ve chosen. Again, as a reader myself, what a great gift! 

    Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories About Nourishing & Gathering People – Yes, this is my book. But, also yes, it would make a good gift for someone who likes opening her home and life to connect with others. There’s many examples from my own life and other friends who share stories about how to be hospitable in any season of life. 

    Created for Communion: Discovering God’s Design for Biblical Friendship – Again, yes, my book, but also a great gift to encourage women in friendship that truly matters. 

    ESV scripture journals – I used to carry my Bible to church and fill the margins with notes. Both during our main church service and the Sunday school class I attend, we go through books of the Bible, so I bought the books we were in and now fill the notebooks with notes. There are whole journaling pages plus wide margins. Marking up scripture is the best way for me to learn, so this is the perfect notebook for me to carry with me to church. 

    Kindle Oasis – Like a Paperwhite, but this Kindle has page-turning buttons. Y’all, it’s waterproof and there’s no glare. It’s the best for hauling around a ton of books on a device that’s about the size of a mass-market paperback, although it’s much thinner than that. 

    Line-a-day journal – I’ve gifted so many of these. It’s a journal that gives you space to write a sentence or two for each day for five years. I’m on my second journal, and I’m going to keep giving them away like candy. Documenting my day briefly each night before bed as become over the past five-plus years one of my very favorite habits. 

    Praying Through Loneliness: A 90-Day Devotional for Women – I have a couple of devotionals included in this lovely book compiled by Kristen Strong. It’s a great book to keep near and pick up when you need some encouragement. 

    Experiences

    I love going on a trip more than unwrapping gifts, so if that’s something you’re thinking about doing, I wholly support it! Here are some of our favorite trips, if you’re looking for some inspiration:

    On a smaller scale, you could gift local and regional experiences likes museums, zoos, concerts, or ballgames. And, if this is the route you’re going, here are some other gift ideas to accompany passes and tickets:

    Baggallini anti-theft crossbody bag – I really love my other off-brand crossbody purse, but the zippers are super secure and I wanted something slightly different to travel. This seems like it’s just right for that. For something bigger than this small purse, I think my Kavu sling bag.

    Capital One Venture credit card – This is a great card to use for expenses because the rewards points are good and allow you to “erase” travel purchases. You can also book hotels and other travel reservations directly through the Capital One website and get special deals. When we signed up for TSA Pre-Check, the fee was reimbursed when we used this card. (Also, sign up for TSA Pre-Check if you’re ever going to fly!)

    Packing cubes – This is the first I’ve used packing cubes, and I just couldn’t justify the price of expensive ones. These had good reviews and seemed like a good place to start. I bought three different colors. 

    Reusable shopping bags – I really like these because they are thin, basic, and easy to wash. They’re great to carry along to separate dirty clothes or move other items if you aren’t staying in one location, which we don’t on many trips. 

    Household

    Blink outdoor security cameras – I’ve shared about these before, but they’re easy to set up and use. I can see movement on my porches, which I especially like at night or if the kids are home alone. We recently added the doorbell to our system. 

    Pellet ice maker – This is our second counter ice maker and I love it! It’s bigger than our previous one and makes the soft, crunchy Sonic ice. (PLUS it’s currently on sale!) 

    Pioneer Woman stuff – Most of any these kitchen & household accessories would make great gifts. I have plastic plates and bowls, mixing bowls, various utensils, cookware, and an Instant Pot in her lovely designs. I’ve gifted items in the past and will likely again in the very near future. 

    Walmart delivery – I am a paying member of Walmart+ and don’t regret it. When my groceries and household items show up on my porch while I’m working, I feel like I’m multi-tasking in the best ways! Plus you get other perks, like free, quick shipping on items not available in the local store. (Save $20 if you sign up through this link!)

    YouTube TV – We ditched cable years ago and love this streaming option. The channel selection is good and it’s cheaper than cable. (Save $15 if you subscribe through this link!)

    Toys & Games

    I don’t give many toys for Christmas, especially with my kids getting older. I do like to give Lego sets.

    Hoverboards have been popular in house for quite some time. The trampoline is another popular activity around our house for kids of all ages that also encourages physical activity. We’re on our second one, and I don’t regret the eye sore given the amount of time it’s been used.

    Crunch Labs – Ben gets excited each month when these boxes show up on our porch. It’s a great subscription box for my teenager who loves to build things. Plus the whole family likes Mark Rober’s videos that go along with the projects. 

    I do love giving family games as gifts. We have so many favorites, such as Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza, Mancala, Phase 10, Rummikub, and Blokus. (Here are other favorite family games!)

    Online shopping tip!

    ‘Tis the season! We all shop often online, so who doesn’t want some extra money to come their way?! That’s what Rakuten does! I have the extension installed on my Chrome browser on my MacBook and the app on my phone. Just look up the store from which you’re going to shop or use the Rakuten website and earn cash back from so many places. 

    *****

    I also have a storefront of favorite things by category, if you love Walmart as much as I do these days!