Well, August always gives me all the feelings. I feel filled by summer, but I don’t want summer to end. I like routine, but I like having my people close too. Basically, I wasn’t ready for my kids to return to school until they did.
My dad died the week before Summer Break started and then we spent the first long weekend of Summer Break on a wonderful vacation to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Then I just never really had all the space I needed to process the grief that came with my dad dying and the realities that revealed. I had a long lunch with my mother-in-law who is also my friend last week because we needed to catch up. I’m thankful for the space for that sort of thing now. And I’m thankful my kids’ school years are off to a (mostly) smooth start.
Highlights
When I turned 40 in May, Greg gave me a trip to Colorado to visit some longtime friends and the Rocky Mountains. Again with the grief, we delayed the trip until our anniversary weekend in August. It was perfectly timed and such a wonderful trip. I shared about it the trip along the way on Instagram and Facebook {You can see all the posts & pictures here!} and then wrote a whole blog post once we were home.
The weekend before school started, we went with our best friends, my mom, and a nephew to Holiday World, an amusement park about three hours from here. If our family has a happy place with too much stimulation, this is it.
We spent a lot of evenings this summer riding through our woods, including the backside of our property that a company has been logging. I never would have predicted to find myself fascinated with the logging process. The picture at the top of the post is from one of our rides recently. There’s some profound about the seasons of the land and how God grows things from the ground to provide for us.
Favorite things
Adoption post – I always love sharing our adoption story, so I’m thankful Mandy Farmer invited me to share about adoption changed my legacy. {Read the post here.}
Jason Gray’s new music – I have to pep talk myself regularly because I’m quick to forget how to navigate well life’s winding road, so I’m grateful God gave me a soundtrack for this season. Jason Gray has a new EP of five songs that are the anthems my soul needs. If I didn’t know better, I would think this musical stranger wrote these songs for me in the midst of “order, disorder, reorder over and over,” as one of the songs says. But I am aware I’m not the only one who needs to perceive the new thing God is doing. {I wrote more about this.}
PackIt Freezable Lunch Bags – We love these lunch boxes! They have built-in gel packs that freeze so the food inside stays cold until my kids’ lunchtime. The bags fold flat and don’t take up too much room in the freezer. Plus when the packs thaw later in the day, the bags don’t sweat. Plus they’re easy to wipe out inside.
Counseling – My calendar once again has regular counseling appointments on it, and I’m so thankful for that space. I’ve missed it (and my counselor specifically) and I’ve needed it more than ever with all the things that got stuck in my head over the summer. {Here’s a post about when I first went to counseling in 2017.}
Outdoor Movie Night – Y’all know I love when life happens on the porch. We recently had a Friday Family Movie Night out there. We watched “Breakthrough,” which is based on an inspiring true story, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I was (mostly) prepared for the boy to fall through the ice, require a miracle, and live. But I wasn’t prepared to relate to the momma main character who adopted her son, has diabetes, and wants to control all the outcomes in life. Talk about hitting home. Even so, I’m thankful for my family and our time together. I also really love our new projector and screen so we can have more nights like this – but probably with a lighter movie!
From the bookshelf
“Blue Smoke” by Nora Roberts – She’s written hundreds of books under two names, and this is the first one I’ve ever read. I really loved parts of it, although I had the mystery figured out well before the end. Still, I read it in two days and didn’t regret any of that.
“The Sometimes Sisters” by Carolyn Brown – This was a Kindle deal purchase quite a while ago, but I really enjoyed the sisters in this story and how their characters grew in their own stories and together as a family as they processed their pasts and recent grief. I liked the lake resort setting too.
“A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis – A friend had recommended this book to me and I found it for 25 cents when I happened upon a used bookstore in Estes Park, Colorado. I read it on the plane on the way home and marked several passages. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while and likely revisit in the years to come.
“Without Merit” by Colleen Hoover – I also found this fiction read by one of my new favorite authors for 25 cents at the used bookstore. I devoured it in two days. I loved how this story developed, revealing secrets one daughter in a complicated family couldn’t hold inside anymore. It’s a story about love and forgiveness – and how those things look different for everyone.
“Ugly Love” by Colleen Hoover – Disclaimer: This book had more sex scenes than I would normally read. I skimmed them. But I really loved the character development, how the story was mostly told from one character in the present and one character in the past, and where the plot went.
“All Your Perfects” by Colleen Hoover – Yep, another one! She’s a wonderful storyteller and I really loved how this one alternated between then and now chapters of a marriage. Infertility was a major theme in the book and having walked through that in my own life, I was impressed with how accurate and heartbreaking that storyline was.
“Verity” by Colleen Hoover – Obviously, I’m a fan of this writer. This is the seventh book I’ve read by her, yet this one was the first suspenseful one. She did that on purpose, venturing out of her usual emotional romance. Of course, there was some of that too. I read it in a day, thought I had it all figured out, and then was still a little surprised in the end.
“Finding God’s Life for My Will” by Mike Donehey – I heard this Tenth Avenue North lead singer recently on Annie F. Downs’s podcast and ordered his new book before the podcast episode was over. He said things about leaders and followers that intrigued me and encouraged me to follow Jesus more closely.
In “Finding God’s Life for My Will,” I marked catchy lines and thought-provoking paragraphs and rhetorical questions I need to keep asking myself. I texted a friend a few pictures of pages from the chapter about sorrow & joy and I read aloud to my husband funny and meaningful stories. I’m going to recommend the book to multiple friends with whom I have ongoing conversations on faith. (Obviously, I’m recommending this book to y’all too.)
I haven’t read many non-fiction books this year and am generally selective about which ones I read. This world is so noisy and bossy. But in this book, Mike Donehey shares stories that are gentle, funny, and true. He quotes scripture and reminds readers of what Jesus did for us, what we should do about it, and how life is not nearly as complicated as we make it sometimes.
On the screen
I already told you about “Breakthrough” and there’s not much new TV on right now. My kids did watch “Lion King” with my mom while Greg and I were in Colorado.
“New Girl” – I don’t usually choose sit-coms, but I needed some laughter in my life, so this is a good choice right now. I literally laugh out loud sometimes and these roommates and the new girl roommate in their life.
How was your August?
*****
I share your ambivalence about August–and this week it feels as if someone threw a switch and all the autumn air came rushing in.
I love Lewis’s A Grief Observed, and have read it multiple times so it feels like an old friend. Right now I’m re-reading Mere Christianity and being blown away by Lewis’s intellect and writing style.
It’s always good to connect with you here! Thanks for making the effort each month.
I really should read more of Lewis’ books because I know I’d be encouraged and prompted to think. I’m grateful for your faithfulness here and for your encouragement. xo
I had those mixed feelings about the end of summer when my kids were in school. The humidity is so high here, I am longing for those autumn breezes.
I’ve read several of Lewis’s books, but have not gotten to that one yet. It’s on my TBR list.
My heart goes out to you in this season of loss. I’m glad you’ve had some moments to process. In some ways grief never completely ends, but it becomes less intense over time.
Thanks for reminding me about Breakthrough! I had seen interesting commercials about it but then forgot it. It’s on my movies-to-watch list now.
I hope you enjoy Breakthrough – it’s an inspiring story for sure. Thanks for your encouragement here, Barbara!
I’m grateful you had time to process your feelings after the loss of your dad. And that your summer was filled with joyful things with your people!
And “New Girl” is a great way to laugh! So is “How I Met Your Mother”
I don’t usually choose sit-coms, but I may need more of them in my life, so thank you for the recommendation. And thank you for being here!
Kristin,
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I’m praying your heart will continue to heal as you grieve during the quieter moments.
Peace and grace,
Tammy
Thank you, Tammy. I appreciate it.
I am so sorry for the loss of your father, Kristin. I think you are wise to read the C.S. Lewis book at this time. Looks like you were on a Colleen Hoover kick this summer! 🙂
Thanks, Laurie. May and August are kind of linked by grief in my mind, but I’m thankful the whole summer wasn’t like that. That C.S. Lewis book was full of good stuff and I should probably go ahead and revisit it. 🙂 It’s good to see you here, Laurie!
I added a book to my wish list and I LOVED New Girl. Was sad to see it end. laurensparks.net
Adding books to my list is one of my favorite things! 🙂 I laughed at New Girl again last night! Glad to see you here, Lauren!