• Traditions that bond us

    ByKristin family
    2 Comments

    When the extended Hills family gathered at our lake houses in 2016, I’m not sure anyone knew we were starting a tradition. I don’t even remember if our aim was every other year or if we even talked about future plans. I know for sure, we had no idea all the changes that would accompany our family in the years we continued to gather. 

    If my pictures are telling me an accurate story, the Hills have gathered together at Shelter Point Retreat for Memorial Day weekend in 2016, 2018, 2021, and 2023, then for Labor Day weekend this year. We already have Labor Day 2026 on our calendars! 

    Here’s the origin story: Two brothers, one sister. My dad was the baby brother and fit many of those stereotypes. The oldest brother, my Uncle Tom, is 10 years older than my dad would be had he not passed away unexpectedly in 2019. Tom is 85 now and the patriarch of the family. My grandpa Max, their dad, offered some of us $500 if we’d name one of our kids Max. Nobody did. And that’s about all I’m going to share about him right now. 

    Those who gathered this year were Tom & Carolyn, the remaining Hill siblings; my mom, who married into this part of the family; Tom’s daughter, Mary, and three of her kids; my brother, Kevin, along with his girlfriend, Kelly, and high school son, Jax; my sister, Cassie, with her husband, Zac, and three kids; Carolyn’s son, Matt, with his wife, Jenn, and their two kids; and my family of five. That’s 24 people, and we were just missing Mary’s sister, Ginny, along with her husband and daughter; Mary’s husband, Kyle, and their youngest child; and my college niece, Milla. 

    Yes, we are bonded by this tradition, but also by so many other things that came before and have happened since. There’s been a complicated grief that rippled into light so many secrets when my dad, their brother and uncle, died in 2019. My sweet cousin friend Mary has moved her mom into a memory care unit and, more recently, her dad into an assisted living facility. My dear aunt lost a daughter to cancer way too early, and then her husband suffered from Parkinson’s and passed away. We’ve experienced the divorce of loved ones, welcomed new people, and the anticipation of graduations and new seasons. 

    As hard as the grief was after my dad died, this tradition has helped me heal, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one. Like any family, we overstep sometimes, go silent sometimes, and are always glad to gather together anyway. This lake tradition has become a gift of conversation, laughter, and memories to usher us into whatever else God has for us, as a great big family and smaller families. 

    *****

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  • Letting traditions go

    ByKristin Three Word Wednesday
    18 Comments

    letting-go-of-traditions-12-7-16

    In 2011, we started a tree hunt tradition. We had wild, crazy trees in our living room that reminded me to embrace adventure – especially during the hectic Christmas season. (The perfectly imperfect one from 2013 may have been my favorite tree. You can read about the adventures from 2011, 2012, 2014 & 2015 too.)

    I love the colored lights and mismatched ornaments that document our travels and our children’s growth. I love putting gifts with whatever wrapping paper I happen to have under the branches, creating anticipation and joy.

    When we moved to the country in June, I immediately saw an evergreen near our pond that I mentally marked as our next Christmas tree.

    In November, when I thought about dragging in a large, unshapen tree into our house, where a toddler who is into everything lives, I got stressed out by the thought alone. A few days later, I saw {real} 3-foot table top trees at the grocery store.

    And I remembered it’s okay to let go of a tradition.

    This wasn’t the year for the tree hunt that would end with a colorful, sparkly temptation for my 14-month-old girl.

    This was the year for the small, still lovely tree from the grocery store.

    That means we didn’t unpack all our ornaments. We don’t have a mantel here, so our stockings are hung from the bookshelf with care. I didn’t change a wreath (or, um, add a wreath, because, well, there is no wreath of any kind on my front door) or add other holiday decorations.

    This was the year for simplicity.

    This was the year for a table-top tree on the seat in the bay window of our kitchen.

    Maybe it’s not about the tree or decorations for you this year. But maybe all the advent resources don’t help you prepare your heart for Him because they’re all overwhelming. Maybe you need to let go of plans or the amount of money you spend on gifts or how many white elephant exchanges in which you participate.

    Even the best traditions can distract us
    from truly preparing Him room.

    {Tweet that.}

    The best part of me letting go of our tree tradition is the big kids still love the small one.

    I strung the lights – one strand was all it required – around the tree. Ben and Cate hung ornaments – mostly in the front middle because Rachel’s curious toddler hands can still reach the bottom branches and they wanted to see the ornaments, not wasting one that wouldn’t be in view.

    And then they let Rachel place the angel on the top.

    They had bantered about who would get the honor, and then agreed to let their baby sister they obviously adore. Sure, it started with a disagreement, but it ended with a memory I will cherish.

    I would generally prefer a tree-top star, but that crocheted angel belonged to my Nanny, who passed away 15 years ago. She died a few months before Greg proposed. She would have loved my family dearly. And they would have loved her.

    So letting the baby of this family set that angel on top of our small, sweet tree was perfect this year. Maybe next year we’ll resume the tree hunt for a wild tree that encroaches upon our living room. But maybe there are other traditions to be born.

    *****

    Kristin Hill Taylor - 3 Word Wednesday

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