“In open fields of wildflowers
She breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daisies
And the roses in no simple language
Someday she’ll understand
The meaning of it all”
– From “Love Song for a Savior” by Jars of Clay
We’ve been at home for the vast majority of four-and-a-half months, and I’ve started thinking about what life might look like when schools open and soccer practices start. And, honestly? I think I’ll miss this season. Our #95daysofsummer became #109daysofsummer earlier this week when our school, like so many others in our state, pushed back the in-person start date to the last Wednesday of August, so I’ve still got some time.
Of course, I won’t miss masks and virus stats and controversy. But I’m going to miss slow mornings, wide-open days on the calendar, and the space to create new-to-us meals while we settle deeply into our home.
I typically make decisions easily and quickly, but these days I can’t look very far in front of me because there are so many variables. As I get older and my kids grow before my eyes, I am becoming more of a home body.
I like home-cooked meals, especially my teenager happily helps prepare them. I like multiple rounds of Skyjo, Trash Pandas, and Code Words at our kitchen table with our oldest right after we’ve all humored the youngest with a couple games of Matching. I like all the wide-open Saturdays we’ve had to do stuff around the house and enjoy the home we’ve created. I weigh our yeses against what I’ve learned when I was forced to slow down and draw a smaller circle.
At the beginning of the year, I chose a word based on what God was teaching me and what I wanted to learn: BECOMING. In January, I had no idea I would have this bare canvas to create and learn and rest right as spring came and then summer lingered. I also had no idea I’d finish a book about hospitality during a social-distanced season. And I certainly didn’t know we’d become cat owners that morning four weeks ago when Ben heard meowing. I’m still trying to implement some better habits for my physical and mental well-being. I’m finding myself taking more deep breaths.
I’ve watched open fields come to life as new creations blooms. I’ve noticed green and pops of color in new ways because I’ve been still enough to truly see around me. I’ve even see our plants sprout some zucchini and peppers as results of our first gardening adventure.
There have been days where I miss people and what used to be, but there have been far more days of knowing this is where I belong. Here’s to believing I’m still becoming and growing because of God is still providing and rescuing.