Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Stories from the Porch in February

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I actually got to enjoy my porch for a couple afternoons this month. That’s got me all ready for spring. February didn’t involve the snow I expected, thankfully, but there was a lot of rain. Even so, February was lovely in many ways.

Highlights

Greg and I celebrated meeting each other and going on our first day TWENTY (!!!) years ago! Yeah, I have no idea how that’s possible either. But you can read about how we met and then about how we stayed up all night talking a week later. (You can also see a side-by-side picture comparison of us then and now.)

We celebrated with a dinner out the night before Valentine’s Day because that’s when the babysitter was available. After dinner we went to Walmart because I needed to get a few things and so did Greg, who let me pick out my own flowers instead of going back to the store without me the next day. This is real life, and I love ours. He did get me a lovely canvas to hang that has our family’s birthdates and our wedding date. I’m still deciding where to hang it. (See the flowers and the canvas.)

Pardon this highlight if you aren’t a mom, but my toddler only wears diapers when she sleeps! Perhaps I can declare her potty trained. I mean, she still has accidents sometimes, but she usually tells me when she needs to go and she’s not quite two-and-a-half years old. I’ll take it!

Oh, and she’s learning to swim. (And it’s pretty much the cutest thing ever.)

We road tripped to our favorite away Murray State game in Clarksville, Tennessee, which included stops at Target, Michael’s, and Books-A-Million before we ate at one of my favorite restaurants called Blackhorse Brewery. We had no idea the evening was going to involve tornado warnings both at home and the arena, a three-hour delay with six minutes to go in the game after a piece of metal poked through the arena roof and prompted a leak on the court, and an exciting win to clinch the regular-season conference championship. But all of those things really happened. The kids stayed up later than they ever have before, and we all have a fun story to tell.

Also, for the second time ever, I was on a podcast! My new friend Melissa Corkum hosted me on The Uncorked Podcast, where we talked about adoption, motherhood, writing, Enneagram, fostering community, volunteering, and general living. (You can listen here.)

Favorite things

  • Enneagram – Maybe this isn’t a thing, but it’s becoming my favorite. My college friend Andrea Kleid shared about it earlier this month here. I’m a 1 with a 2 wing, and it’s been fascinating to learn more about my natural motivations, the traps when I’m stressed, and how I respond to goodness.
  • John Crist – This guy makes me laugh. He was recently on Annie Downs’ podcast, and now I follow him (closely, perhaps) on Instagram.
  • Oils for cold sores – I like oils for some things, but I also take Tylenol when I have a headache and antibiotics when I have an ear infection. Even so, I texted a friend last week out of desperation: What oils can I use for this annoying, painful cold sore on my tongue? She told me to mix together equal parts Melaleuca, On Guard, and Frankincense. I did. And, y’all, it totally worked. My cold sore improved that day and was gone the next. It didn’t taste delicious, but it was totally worth it.
  • My boy dressed up at George Washington – The kids went to school on Presidents’ Day because they made up a snow day. Ben’s second-grade class dressed up as presidents and shared facts about them. Thanks to Amazon for the costume! Not having to piece together an outfit was worth buying the outfit and wig. And did you know our first president had dentures made out of hippo tusks and human teeth?

From the bookshelf

Two months into the new year, and I’ve been reading memoirs and fiction. It’s been refreshing to have a break from all the self-help Christian living books that weren’t helping the lofty expectations I already burden myself with. I know there are good non-fiction books out there I’ll return to, but the break has been nice. (I keep a running list of books I’ve loved on Amazon, if you want some more recommendations.)

I did start a non-fiction book because it’s about a subject very close to my heart and one I haven’t read much about.

  • “Why I Hate Green Beans: And Other Confessions about Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves” by Lincee Ray – When I listen to Lincee Ray’s “I Hate Green Beans” podcast, I laugh out loud. Literally. And, yes, I’ll go ahead and confess to watching “The Bachelor” too. But I knew Lincee’s story went beyond affection for Chris Harrison and predictions for who would get the final rose. I’m glad she shared her story – one that’s told with her trademark humor as she learns to embrace the real life she never expected. And, yes, you’ll enjoy the book even if you like green beans like me. (You can read my full review here.)
  • “The Fever” by Megan Abbott – I didn’t love this book. I didn’t hate it either. The story line was intriguing, which is why I didn’t quit it. I want to say it was dark, but that may not be the right word. It was mysterious in a way that made me want to keep my oldest 10 years old forever. I previously read “You Will Know Me” by this same author and liked it more, even though it also was dark.
  • “The Nightingale” by Kristin Hannah – I’m late to this party, but I finally read this book I’ve hand on my Kindle for quite some time. I’ve loved other Kristin Hannah books, and especially loved this one.
  • “A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging” by Kate Motaung – As part of the launch team, I got an early PDF copy of this book and enjoyed it. I had planned to read just a little but couldn’t stop and finished it in one weekend. Kate tells her story of growing up and discovering with parallels to how she found the truth of the home Jesus promises us. It officially releases April 2.
  • “Small Church Essentials: Field-Tested Principles for Leading a Healthy Congregation of Under 250” by Karl Vaters – Most of the people in the launch team are pastors of small churches, but I’ve benefitted from the information because Greg is an elder at our small church and we lead a small group. I’m looking forward to sharing more about the book and my small church experience with you.

On the screen

The big question here is why did nobody tell me I could download Amazon Prime shows to my Kindle so when we’re all sitting in the small room at the orthodontist while Cate is getting braces my other two can still watch a show? Okay, I’ll forgive y’all now that I know. Also, related, my toddler now thinks Bubble Guppies live on my Kindle.

I typically like TV shows more than movies, but I have a movie to tell you about: “The Big Sick.” I loved it so much. Warning: There is some language, but the story had romantic comedy elements I loved mixed in with the drama too. The lead guy is playing himself in the movie, so that’s fun too. It’s an Amazon original, so thank you, again, Prime. (Did you know you can try Amazon Prime FREE for 30 days?)

And, yes, I already confessed to watching “The Bachelor,” and that most certainly happened this month. In reality TV news, Greg and I both are excited for a new “Survivor” season starting tonight.

If you were on my porch on one of these sunshiny afternoons, what would you tell me about your February? {Tweet that.}

*****

#PorchStories friends, I’m giving away a copy of Passion’s new album. Be sure to enter to win today because I’m randomly choosing a winner tomorrow.

*****

Kristin Hill Taylor - Porch Stories
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Enneagram brings new perspectives

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I like the way Facebook helps keep connections alive. Andrea Kleid and I went to college together. Recently, as she’s been sharing about how Enneagram has helped her better navigate life and relationships, I’ve been intrigued and asked her questions.

I decided I was probably not the only one who would benefit from her insights, so please welcome Andrea to #PorchStories today as she shares why Enneagram personality types matter.

(And I’m a 1, by the way.)

*****

I was standing in the Presidential Suite of the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas putting final touches on the room where we would showcase several artists on our label for twenty of our clients. My team of five people was arranging chairs and making sure the lighting was just right while we waited for catering to arrive. Beyond the hors-d’oeuvres, we ordered a birthday cake to celebrate one of our female clients who was turning 40.

One of the gentleman hosts came over to show us the cake before he put it in the refrigerator. As he opened the lid, we all gasped. Instead of reading “Happy Birthday, Theresa!” we saw “Congratulations, Theresa!” decorated with fondant baby bottles and diapers. I just kept saying, “No, no, no, no, no.” I spoke very firmly to the Bellagio host, “This is not what we ordered, and you have 20 minutes to fix it before our guests arrived.” He left with a panicked look on his face, and his fellow hosts followed him out.

As soon as they left, my head blew off my shoulders. “How does this happen?” I asked as I shot a look to each member of my team. “No really, how did this happen?” I yelled in a strong voice. They stayed quiet at first, and then began the terrible idea of telling me it was going to be okay.

My energy was big and I paced and slammed my folder on the table. I felt my team jump behind me. I slowly turned around and they all looked like they had seen a ghost. My normally vivacious and upbeat team looked afraid of me.

I must have let down my guard for a moment to make eye contact, and one of the guys on my team came over, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Really, Kleid, it’s going to be okay.” Even though I was still incredibly frustrated, I had this acute awareness that I had just completely freaked out and lost all composure OVER A CAKE. Granted it was a $300 cake, but still, it was a cake.

I looked around again at my team and whispered, “I’m sorry I just lost it.” They said it was okay, but their countenance still showed me that I hurt them – not by what I said, but that I had come across in such a blaming, aggressive way. I continued to pace, but there was a different energy about me. I was embarrassed of my behavior and I wanted to fix what I had done.

I turned around to them and said, “Hey guys, this is funny, right?” Staring at me with fear, they seemed afraid this was a trick question. So I repeated it, “The cake, the fact that it’s a congratulatory baby cake, it’s funny, right?” I saw one of them crack a smile and said, “It’s actually hilarious.” I said, “Yes, it’s hilarious! Call catering right away and tell them to keep it the way it is, and get it up here!” They all breathed a sigh of relief and got on the case.

When our clients arrived, we lit the candles and sang “Happy Birthday” and as Theresa approached the cake to blow out the candles, she began laughing hysterically. Then everyone began to realize what it said, and it was the biggest hit of the night. We found out later when we listed “baby blue” as the colors to use, someone had interpreted it as a baby cake. We explained the story to the group, and to this day, people talk about the hilarious cake mishap.

This was a moment in my life when
I knew I had to be a better leader.

I will never forget the looks on my teams’ faces that night and how I made them feel. I knew I needed to increase my self-awareness and learn to be less controlling or I wouldn’t be given the privilege of leading kind, talented people. No one should have to put up with a controlling, aggressive leader.

In many ways, this moment of self-awareness led me to the Enneagram. I am an 8 on the Enneagram, the Challenger, if you couldn’t figure that out yet! I have learned how to take the same energy that can be domineering and channel it into true leadership and empowerment.

The Enneagram is a map of nine distinct personality types, and one of the most life-changing tools I’ve ever encountered. Understanding the nine types and how they interact have forged a way for me to experience deep personal growth and have helped me to have better understanding and grace in my relationships.

So many people ask me where to start, and it’s simply reading through the type descriptions and finding the one that you are most dominant in. No one type is better than one another; each is its own valuable perspective on the world.

Through my time studying the Enneagram and understanding its nuances, I’ve been able to completely change a perspective I’ve had on people I’ve known for more than 15 years.

Once we understand each person emerges
from childhood with a very specific perspective
on the world, the grace begins to flow.

{Tweet that.}

There are so many things I could say about how the Enneagram has influenced my life, but probably the greatest is presence. I have learned through my own personal work if I am able to be present and recognize what I’m feeling in times of adversity or stress, then I can manage my reactivity.

If you’re not familiar with the amazing world the Enneagram holds, please dive in! It will give you tools for growth and make you a more aware human, and we all need more present, healthy people in this world.

Check out the Enneagram Institute to read through the nine type descriptions or find a free test online to begin the journey.

*****

Andrea Kleid is 17-year music industry veteran with a passion to help people grow. She led one of the most successful and influential radio promotion teams in her industry. As a vice president at a major label, Andrea developed a reputation for launching top artists and growing their careers using her signature brand of honesty, laser-sharp insight, and unstoppable passion. A master at connection, Andrea’s deep empathy and fierce strategic mind make her a force for good. Andrea uses Enneagram personality process as a catalyst for growth for artists and teams. Andrea lives in Nashville, Tennessee, and runs her own company, BoxerPoet.

*****

I also want to make sure my #PorchStories friend don’t miss the book giveaway (!!!) happening. Yesterday I shared about Kayla Aimee’s new book, “In Bloom: Trading Restless Insecurity for Abiding Confidence,” and am giving away two copies. Come enter to win!

*****

Kristin Hill Taylor - Porch Stories
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