Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Our shared stories matter

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I was going to cancel #PorchStories this week {again} because I knew y’all would understand. Many of you have been praying for my boy, who sustained second-degree burns to his face and hands 11 days ago.

First of all, we got an excellent report when we took him to a follow-up appointment Tuesday morning at Vanderbilt Medical Center.

The burn unit staff was pleased with Ben’s healing and cleared him to go back to school and resume most of his regular routine. It will be a couple more weeks before he plays soccer. We will still wrap the tops of his hands until those wounds heal a little more, but we’ve moved on to using lotion on face and fingers. We are amazed and thankful for how he’s physically and emotionally responded to these injuries during what’s been a hard week filled with so many good things.

Plus, mother-in-law had the girls so Greg and I got an early-morning date with our boy. We extended our time with a pitstop at Target and an early lunch before we resumed our normal day.

But back to the porch. I needed to come here and tell you something about the stories we share on porches, around tables, in texts, and on social media.

They matter.

“But we just kept showing up. … Because when you tell your stories, you start to recognize yourself in the stories of others. You start to discover that you are both, in fact, inside a shared story.”

– Lisa-Jo Baker in “Never Unfriended”

Our shared stories matter.

{Tweet that.}

The characters and circumstances aren’t always the same, but the common threads of exhaustion, fear, joy, and hope matter. Those {and others} have been the emotions of my last week and a half. Yet we welcomed people into our real life – when the floor wasn’t swept, most of us weren’t showered, and exhaustion was our close companion.

I let a hairdresser friend pick up Cate from school and cut her hair when they got here.

I needed help encouraging Ben to do his hand and face exercises so as the wounds healed his motion progressed too, so I reached out to a friend from church who does physical therapy with nursing home patients and said yes to a friend from school who used to do rehab work with stroke & cancer patients.

I said yes to another church friend who organized a Meal Train and the friends who signed up to bring us food.

Another friend got to be Ben’s home health nurse.

Other friends sent muffins and candy and cards. And then many stayed to pray and play with my boy.

I know I wrote about community the other day. But I can’t stop thinking about how blessed we are to have so much goodness in the midst of a hard week.

Not long before Ben’s accident, a friend said to me: People talk about friendship taking two people, but it really just takes one to invite the other.

It’s true.

Sure, one does the inviting and the other does the accepting, but really it just takes one to spur on the other.

And that’s the beauty of friendship.

Often times I’m the one who does the inviting – to lunch, to conversation via text, to whatever other social event I’m happily organizing. But this time I got to be the one accepting others’ help and love. Truly, I was reminded that gathering ourselves together regardless of the circumstances is the epitome of community.

Dear friends, let’s be people who invite others in.

And let’s also not afraid to be the ones who accept invitations from others. We’re all better that way.

*****

I know I’ve mentioned “Never Unfriended” by Lisa-Jo Baker in multiple posts recently, but it’s a subject that’s near and dear to my heart and one that keeps weaving its way into my actual life. I was on the launch team for the book and received a free copy, but I would recommend it even if I spent my own money on it because it speaks truth and encourages community that matters.

{Read the previous related posts How Community Heals and Initiate Peace.}

Surprise! Today I have a copy to give away to one of you! I spent my own money on this paperback copy because I really want to share and couldn’t decide with whom I wanted to share. So, friends, tell me in the comments how you’ve been blessed by an invitation into someone else’s life or how you’re hoping to extend that invitation soon.

A winner will be randomly chosen Tuesday, April 18.

*****

Kristin Hill Taylor - Porch Stories
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How community heals

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Photo courtesy Elizabeth Sands Wise // This Sacramental Life

I was laying in the hammock on the front porch, reading a book and texting with a couple of people when I heard my 7-year-old son Ben crying and moaning. Along with his dad, he was out of sight but obviously in ear range on the other side of our pine forest burning some brush. When they lit the fire, it flared up and Ben was too close.

I knew something was wrong when I heard my boy, so I rushed through the house, grabbed my rain boots and ran through the forest to the guys and the burn pile. I saw Greg spraying Ben with water.

As soon as they told me what happened, I knew we needed to go to the emergency room. There wasn’t evidence of burns yet, but Ben was clearly in pain. We walked quickly back to the house, changed Ben out of his wet clothes, got more comfortable shoes for me, put more water on his hands, and took off for the local ER, which is about 15 minutes away.

Long story short: Ben was transferred to Vanderbilt Medical Center, where he spent two nights in the burn unit being treated for second-degree burns on his hands and face. Recovery is expected to take two weeks and is progressing well.

There’s a lot I could tell you about these circumstances and what they’ve done for our family. Obviously, Ben has suffered pain, but the emotions have been all over the place for all of us. We’ve been scared and worried and relieved and thankful. Our family of five has been changed – in good ways – because trauma offers perspective.

But what I want to tell you about is how our community of people – our closest friends, acquaintances who want to help, school friends, church friends, Facebook friends who get peeks in our lives – has surrounded us with prayers, encouragement, meals, supplies, medical advice, and their presence.

Seeing the church in action is beautiful.

{Tweet that.}

My son’s face has grown new skin already and his hands are raw but doing the same. I’ve shed tears because seeing my boy uncomfortable is hard and caring for him involves a whole new skill set for me that’s been overwhelming.

But even more powerful than all of that has been how we’ve been overwhelmed with the love and prayers. When I told Ben how hundreds of people were praying for him, he was amazed. Truly, I am too – not because I doubt God or my friends but because coming alongside trauma can be hard.

I’ve gotten so many texts that offer prayers and love. People ask what they can do with genuine kindness. Friends have done things like show up at my house with Dilly Bars and a prayer spoken aloud over my boy, fasted for a day because she wanted to pray for us, given of their time to help Ben with his stretches that he doesn’t always want to do for his parents, brought meals and treats, and run my errands.

“Being willing to be a neighbor in the heart sense of the word is being willing to connect with the people who God puts in our path. It’s doing life together, especially the hard parts. It’s choosing friendship on purpose.”

– Lisa-Jo Baker in “Never Unfriended”

Some of our neighbors have shown up at our house, where Ben doesn’t usually wear a shirt and has a Vaseline-like medicine all over his face. Others have shown up in texts and on Voxer. Some of sent love through the postal service. Regardless of where they are, I’m grateful they’re my neighbors and have showed up in my life, especially this week.

And, truly, our neighbors who are friends have helped my son heal.

Ben is 100% extrovert and was asking if people were coming to visit before we left the hospital. So I’m glad they showed up because that’s what helped him to get up and moving his hands. He’s played the Wii with almost everyone who has walked in our house and forgotten that his hands were wrapped in gauze.

This is what friendship is about. It helps us heal from trauma and reminds us that even the scary stories can have beauty.

*****

Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Never Unfriended” spoke deeply into my friendship-loving soul, but it’s more than a book about friendship. I expected to like this book because I appreciate Lisa-Jo Baker’s encouraging writing and friendship is one of my favorite topics in life. I didn’t expect this book to seep into so many areas of my life – my marriage, my relationships with my kids, my friendships (of course), hurt from my past I may not have fully dealt with, and my everyday faith. But this book is powerful and rocked my thinking in ways that have changed me as a friend, yes, but even more deeply as a Christ follower.

I was on the “Never Unfriended” launch team and received an advanced copy of the book to read and review, but I really love it so much I’ve already ordered another copy to share with a friend. Learn more about the book at its website or Amazon.

Initiate Peace & the new #PorchStories

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I read a verse the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s among verses about loving your enemies, but it certainly applies to anyone we encounter.

“Here is the simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them.”

−Luke 6:31 (Msg)

I’m an initiator of plans. I invite people over and meet them for lunch. Quality time is my love language, hence my desire to get people on my calendar and disappointment when plans change.

But sometimes I get weary of being the initiator. Just recently I was feeling that way, and then a couple friends reached out even though I had no idea I was instigating an initiator pity party in my heart. I’ll take it as encourage from God to keep on doing what I’m doing because He goes with me.

And he wants us to go with peace.

Lisa-Jo Baker wrote about “shalom” in her coming-soon book “Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships.” This book is even better than I expected and I’m excited to share more of it with you.

But today I want to tell you about what she said about shalom, which is more than the absence of conflict. It’s interactive – and it’s used in the Bible more than 200 times. In her book, Baker quotes “What Is the Mission of the Church? Making Sense of Social Justice, Shalom and the Great Commission” by Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert. (I now have that book awaiting me on my Kindle.)

“The kind of shalom we’re challenged to give to the people around us requires us to take an active interest in their physical and spiritual well-being. … In addition to caring deeply about seeing conflict come to an end, shalom is passionately invested in seeking the well-being of others – other people, other places and cultures and neighbors. … Shalom is a radical word that challenges us to wake up from our obsession with ourselves and instead start the deliberate choice of focusing on the people around us …”

– Lisa-Jo Baker in “Never Unfriended”

God’s been doing a new thing around here through our small group that has a mission to serve our local community. These words about the peace that comes when we think of others before ourselves strikes me deeply because it’s the foundation of so many other things.

The ripples of truly caring about
the people around us are everlasting.

{Tweet that.}

And I’m guessing we’ll be changed in the process too. Because that’s how God works. He doesn’t waste moments or relationships. He uses it all – for His glory and our good. But we certainly aren’t going to get there alone.

“We can see people as a source of influence, prominence, cool, or competition. Or we can see them as family, sisters, fellow pilgrims on the journey as we try to make sense of the everyday Tuesdays and Sundays and sadness and celebration. But we can’t do both. We can either love them or compete with them. We can either champion them or condemn them. We can either accept them or try to change them. We can either love them for who they are or try to twist them into our own image. But we can’t do both.”

– Lisa-Jo Baker in “Never Unfriended”

So let’s grab initiative and let’s bring peace to whoever is near.

*****

Welcome, faithful #ThreeWordWednesday friends. I’ve got a little news about the weekly linkup to share. To better go along with the community happening here, the new name is Porch Stories.

I hope you love it. And I hope you continue gathering on my virtual porch so we can swap stories. You’re invited to show up with your stories about your real lives, where you’re meeting God and learning truth. You’re invited to encourage others and make friends. There’s room for you and your faith-filled stories here.

As you share posts from the linkup, use #PorchStories and be sure to update your blog button with the new code on the sidebar. Feel free to linger awhile and bring a friend along.

Kristin Hill Taylor - Porch Stories
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*****

I did receive an advanced copy of “Never Unfriended” by Lisa-Jo Baker as a member of the launch team, but the opinions I shared here are my own – and you’re going to hear more about this book because I’m loving it. You can preorder it here or learn more about it at its own beautiful, new website.