motherhood

Ben in his prime

November 23, 2020 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Happy birthday, Ben!

Something about 11 seems older. You learned about prime numbers not too long ago, and now here you are, PRIME. I’m sure you just rolled your eyes at me, but I know deep down you like my cheesy jokes. Regardless, my bad jokes are better than the ones you made up for years. I’m glad to be out of that season with you!

You love to make people laugh. I know sometimes I get annoyed because your timing is off (hello, bedtime), but I do see your humor and love of people as a gift you give. You always want to know what we’re doing next, not wanting to miss out on anything. When I pick you up in the afternoon, you’re always the first to ask about my day and what we’re having for dinner. Of course, then you prep yourself to eat enough dinner that you usually don’t care about so you can get ice cream afterward.

I can’t figure out how you usually win Skyjo, Trash Pandas, and Exploding Kittens – all card games that involve some strategy and a lot of luck. It’s true, though, you’re the lucky one. Of course, I’m the lucky one too because even if you beat me in card games, I get to be your mom.

You’ve always liked to be on the move, now that happens on the soccer field, basketball court, hover board, or four-wheeler. You can spend hours searching for treasures around our pond, in the creek, or I the woods. You’re quick to invite someone to join you, wrestle your little sister, and want to watch a science experiment video.

You’ve challenged me more than the girls, but I’ve learned so much about myself and the world through you. I’m my best when I’m carefree and spontaneous like you. I enjoy the world more when I’m not afraid to take things apart, make my own way, and ask questions like you. I’m thankful you’ll still snuggle me, eventually tell me what you’re feeling, and want to live with me forever.

We celebrated your birthday with a few school friends yesterday and homemade breakfast tacos this morning. While making s’mores yesterday, you roasted one so much it caught on fire and we sang “Happy Birthday” to you while you blew it out. Truly, that fit you perfectly. The celebrations are continuing. You chose tonight’s dinner: chicken fajitas and baked potatoes. Plus we are taking a Dairy Queen ice cream cake to Thanksgiving with one side of the family and having another small party next weekend with the other side of the family. We’re spreading out the birthday love because 2020 is a weird year, but everybody still wants to celebrate you, my boy.

I love you, Momma.

Look back on Ben’s life: 1 year old. 2 years old. 3 years old. 4 years old. 5 years old. 6 years old. 7 years old. 8 years old. 9 years old. 10 years old.

One-full-hand years old

September 19, 2020 by Kristin Leave a Comment

This girl is really into birthdays — hers and others. She loves a party and loves a crowd of people. So far she’s invited her entire soccer team, probably her preschool class, and the pool guy to her party. I hope she’s not disappointed tomorrow when it’s a mostly family party, thanks to the ever-changing response to the coronavirus.

Rachel has told people she’s “this many” and holds up one hand with all five fingers up. She acts like she doesn’t know that’s five, but then she will see a 5 in a book or on a sign and say that’s how old she will be on her birthday.
She has a million questions for anyone who will listen. Just the past few days: She’s asked the Kroger bagger how the virus started. I’ve explained extended family relationships several times. Her question about the purpose of a belly button led to a brief adoption conversation.

Obviously, she’s the possibly the most extroverted person in our family, only maybe behind her dad. So join me as I continue celebrating my girl with my traditional birthday letter:

Rachel,

You’re the joy our family didn’t know we needed. We wanted you before we knew about you, cared for your birth mom in every way we could while she carried you, and know joy more because of you. You make life more fun, bedtime longer than it needs to be, and any ordinary day like a party.

You love all things pink, so much so you convinced your parents and sister to paint your room pink this past spring. Nobody knew it would take four coats of bright pink to cover the mint green. You remember so many words to songs, especially from the first Frozen movie but also from whatever is on the radio. You socialize while playing soccer, going to preschool at the big kids’ school, and wherever else we go.

You love chocolate milk, jumping on the trampoline, princesses, mermaids, unicorns, and your brother and sister. For a couple of years now, you’ve proclaimed you’re going to marry our family friend Isaac, although he’s quite unsure of the future plan. Regardless of what happens with him, I have no doubt everyone you meet will be better off because you love well and fully.

We love to celebrate you — especially when you are one-full-hand years old.

Love, Momma

Practical wisdom & a pep talk for my soul

August 17, 2020 by Kristin Leave a Comment

The new book from Kendra Adachi (aka The Lazy Genuis) arrived on my porch one afternoon and I ignored my to-do list because reading what she had to say truly mattered to me. I ended up staying up past my bedtime to finish it. It’s been quite a while since I read a book in one day, but Kendra is funny and practical, real without putting herself or others down, and asks questions that I had to answer in my journal the next morning. Talk about some surprise therapy, thanks to “The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done.”

“Your tasks aren’t necessarily the origin of your stress; trying to fit into a mold of who you think you should be almost always is. You spend all day doing and managing and overthinking, and before long, you forget who you are in the midst of the madness. You need a practice of remembering who you are and resting in your identity. There’s more than one way to do this, so don’t feel pressured to find the single, perfect thing that defines you. Your list will be long, and that’s good.”
Kendra Adachi in “The Lazy Genius Way“

I could quote many other tidbits of wisdom, questions that poke right my inner struggles, and truth I want to remember. I wrote notes in the margins and starred whole sections. Sure, some parts were more relevant than others, but I closed this book and was encouraged to be me as I remember what matters, calm the crazy, and trust myself.

One surprise that happened right in the introduction was how Kendra wrote about her own perfectionism roots and I felt like she was describing my own childhood and all the ripple effects since. I tried really hard to change someone that didn’t change, and, yes, I felt responsible. That’s a heavy burden to carry, and I didn’t expect this book to be what help me continue to work through it. You just never know where and how God is going to continue the good work He’s doing in us.

All of that to say, the introduction of “The Lazy Genius Way” is powerful, and I don’t think I’m the only woman who needs the pep talk Kendra offers. Of course, the rest of the book is full of practical wisdom, funny comments, and more pep talks for your weary soul. So read on, my friend.

About the book

The chorus of “shoulds” is loud. You should enjoy the moment, dream big, have it all, get up before the sun, track your water consumption, go on date nights, and be the best. Or maybe you should ignore what people think, live on dry shampoo, be a negligent PTA mom, have a dirty house, and claim your hot mess like a badge of honor.

It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed by the mixed messages of what it means to live well.

Kendra Adachi, the creator of the Lazy Genius movement, invites you to live well by your own definition and equips you to be a genius about what matters and lazy about what doesn’t. Everything from your morning routine to napping without guilt falls into place with Kendra’s thirteen Lazy Genius principles, including: decide once, start small, ask the Magic Question, go in the right order, and schedule rest.

Discover a better way to approach your relationships, work, and piles of mail. Be who you are without the complication of everyone else’s “shoulds.” Do what matters, skip the rest, and be a person again.

“The Lazy Genius Way” is a 240-page hardcover book is published by WaterBrook (Aug. 11, 2020). It’s also available as an ebook.

About the author

Kendra Adachi went to college to become a high school English teacher but instead became the Lazy Genius, passionately and candidly sharing how to stop doing it all for the sake of doing what matters. Her work includes hosting The Lazy Genius Podcast, cooking dinner on Instagram, and convincing her three young kids that talking into the phone is Mommy’s job. She and her husband love raising their family in the same North Carolina city they both grew up in. Learn more at her website.

*****

I’m reviewing this book because I genuinely loved it so much. I pre-ordered it and paid for my copy with my own money. This review for y’all is just bonus material. You’re welcome.