Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Happy birthday, Ben!

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I don’t know at what point kids’ ages stop sounding all grown up, but it’s not 14 years old. My boy Ben turns 14 today – yes on Thanksgiving! – and it sounds impossible and sudden to me. Even so, I love having big kids and am happy to celebrate him! 

November has been an incredibly hard month for my boy. It’s a story I’ll probably share publicly at some point. For now, I’m giving thanks for Ben’s life and our community of people who love him well. We started celebrating on Sunday with eight of his friends and our dear friends the Gachokas who are like family. We had a delicious meal at Texas Roadhouse and then spent a couple of hours at Top Golf. The ride to and from Nashville was loud — with singing, middle school humor, and spicy hot takes.

The bigger picture: it’s not just these friends who love our boy, and I’m grateful to know so many have encouraged and supported him through the years. We’ve seen this real-life community in this hard season he’s facing, and we are so thankful to be surrounded by so much goodness. I’m praying my boy continues to soak in that truth.

Meanwhile, he loves making music playlists, watching videos from Mark Rober and Dude Perfect and How Ridiculous, building and taking apart pretty much anything, eating double bacon cheeseburgers, drinking Glacier Freeze Gatorade, collecting key chains and crazy socks, and playing soccer. He likes to anticipate what’s next, is a good friend to people, and would rather not be at school. 

I’m proud of his bravery to work through hard things and look forward to seeing what God continues to do in his life. 

*****

Ben, 

You’re brave and bold. I’m thankful to call you my son and watch you be a friend to so many people. I pray you know you’re loved by God, your family, and your friends. Walking through this world can be hard and dark, but there’s so much goodness in the light.

Keep being you and following where God leads. I love being on this journey with you! Happy birthday, son! 

Love, Mom

*****

I share more of Ben’s story in my book “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available for FREE through Nov. 26 on Amazon.

Look back on my boy’s life:  1 year old. 2 years old. 3 years old. 4 years old. 5 years old. 6 years old. 7 years old. 8 years old. 9 years old. 10 years old. 11 years old. 12 years old. 13 years old.

How to teach kids to take care of home

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My kids know I want things – all the things – to be put away in their home. Everything has a home. The dirty laundry goes in a basket. The dirty dishes go to the sink. The trash goes to the trash can. Yet, I find myself repeating these things often! 

While I understand the value of keeping an orderly household by cleaning, decluttering, and just general organization, it’s not really like that for most kids. Mine are currently 16, almost 14, and 8. They know, but they don’t know, you know? Most kids need to have this instilled into them, learn it, and grasp it in order for it to truly happen. Just like teaching them how to take care of themselves.

But chances are, you probably know that getting your kids to understand the importance of taking care of the house can not only lighten your load but also instill valuable life skills in them. So, how can we do this? I probably shouldn’t actually be offering advice because I’m still teaching this, but here we go:

Lead by example

One thing you need to keep in mind is the fact that children are keen observers. Believe it or not, they learn a great deal from watching their parents. So, you’re going to have to demonstrate good habits by consistently taking care of your own belongings and participating in household chores. Your actions serve as a powerful model for your kids, showcasing the importance of responsibility and teamwork.

That’s right, I clean up after myself generally in hopes they will do – and because I function better with less clutter and messes. 

Establish routines

For every part of the house, both inside and out, there needs to be a routine, and sometimes, this is going to vary based on the season. So, just keep in mind that consistency is key when instilling habits. When children know what to expect, it becomes a natural part of their routine, reducing resistance and making the process more seamless. 

We have seasonal routines around here with tending to our pool and yard. These chemicals go in the pool each week and the yard needs to be mowed every week or so. My kids have learned these routines because they’re just part of our summer lives. 

It doesn’t always have to be about them doing the chores, but it’s also about getting them to understand the importance of taking care of the home. So even if you’re planning on hiring professionals, such as for pressure washing service, then you can still explain to them why it matters and why it needs to be done. Or you can teach your teenage son to pressure wash, which is one thing we’ve done recently. 

Explain why

Kids are usually more likely to cooperate when they understand the purpose behind their actions or what needs to be done in general. So, you just need to explain to them that taking care of the house is a shared responsibility since everyone in the house lives there. You’ll need to, of course, explain it in a way that gets them to understand that it’s not punishment, but rather it’s help. And then I kindly ask my second-grader to unload the dishwasher. 

Teamwork

We talk about our family being a team often – and our home is definitely our practice field. If we can work together here, we can work together anywhere. Try to discuss how everyone in the family plays a role in maintaining a clean and comfortable living space. This honestly can help create a strong family dynamic. 

How do your kids help you care for your home?

Fighting For the Soul of Your Child

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I’ve told several friends recently I love having big kids – despite all the emotions I feel about them growing up. Truly, I love their independence and watching them become who God created them to be. Of course, parenting big kids is hard too – just a different hard. 

Right now my kids are 16, almost 14, and 8. We’re in the trenches of teenagehood with some elementary school sass sprinkled in. I often feel like I’m fighting for their souls in a world that’s loud and messy and certainly doesn’t always align with my priorities. 

“Fighting For the Soul of Your Child” by Jimmy and Karen Evans is a powerful guide for parents seeking to nurture and raise their children in today’s ever-evolving world. I just started reading this, but I can already tell this is a book I need to keep close. This book equips parents with the tools and knowledge they need to raise resilient, spiritually grounded, and emotionally healthy children. Yes, please! 

About the book

I’m most looking forward to reading strategies that will strengthen our bond as a family. We are five people with different personalities and preferences, yet God saw fit to knit us together through adoption and many other experiences together. Even so, my kids still pester each other and bicker with one another on the best days. 

“Fighting for the Soul of Your Child” also helps parents discover practical strategies and insights to help unlock the secrets to open and honest communication – yes, even with teenagers! These conversations foster trust and connection that will serve as a foundation for the years, joys, and hardships to come. Also, this book will help parents explore ways to nurture their children’s faith so they can go out into the world with a strong moral compass. 

The book is divided into three sections – Rules of Engagement, Boot Camp, and Battlefields. I’m especially looking forward to the chapters in “Battlefields” such as The War for Words, Communication Challenges, The Discipline Battle, The Purpose of Discipline, Shameless Sexuality, and Lies About Sex.

I know I need to gain insights as my husband and I handle parenting challenges, such as peer pressure and technology. This seems to be a resource that will span parenting seasons – which is good because I still have another child who will grow into a teenager and more years with my current teenagers in my home. 

“Fighting For the Soul of Your Child” is a 272-page paperback published by XO Publishing (Sept. 26, 2023). Save 25% at the XO Store with the code MIN25. Of course, it’s also available on Amazon. 

About the authors

Authors Jimmy & Karen Evans are respected marriage and parenting experts. They have been married for more than 50 years and have two married children and five grandchildren. They founded XO Marriage, a ministry devoted to helping couples thrive. 

Jimmy served as senior pastor of Trinity Fellowship Church in Amarillo, Texas for 30 years and now serves as an apostolic elder there. He holds an honorary doctorate of literature from The King’s University and has authored more than 18 books. 

You can find more of their teaching on the MarriageToday podcast. 

Giveaway 

Leave a comment about why you’d like to win this book and you’ll be entered to do so. This giveaway is open to U.S. residents only through Nov. 6. A winner will be randomly selected to receive a copy of this book. 

*****

Many thanks to XO Publishing for providing a sample of the product for this review and a copy to give one of you. These opinions are 100 percent my own.