Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Ways to connect with your partner

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Greg and I have known each other for 23 years and have been married for more than 18 of those years. We’ve recently talked about how so much around us is changing, but we are thankful for the steadfastness of our relationship. Truly, I don’t know how I’d navigate life without him. Plus I like him. 

Are you looking for ways to keep the spark, excitement, and romance alive in your relationship? If so, then here are some of the steps that you should definitely consider exploring to keep your marriage a priority.

Date Each Other

I’m going to be honest on this oft-given advice. Greg and I aren’t good at actual dates. We are good at stealing some together once kids are in bed or while driving in the minivan when the kids are occupied. Yes, we like to go on dates, and we’d like to go one soon. We’re overdue because the one he planned to Red Lobster near Valentine’s Day was canceled when we all were quarantined. 

We know kids complicate adult-only outings, even just for a few hours, but our experiences of trips every now and then or at least dinner with them are worth it. We can talk and regroup and plan and, yes, talk about the kids. 

Give Gifts

While quality time is my love language, gift giving is right up there. Of course, the types of gifts have changed through the years. One of my favorite recurring gifts is near our anniversary, Greg takes my minivan to get detailed. He deals with getting it there and back home again. The fresh smell and lack of crumbs speak volumes to me about his desire to help make my life a tad easier and much neater. 

When I think way back to when he proposed, I love remembering being surprised by his question, his presence at that exact moment, and the ring he presented. We aren’t really jewelry people at this point, but London Gold can help you choose the right sparkle if you are. Now I get gifts like a countertop ice maker and a vac mop. Again, a cleaner, easier life is valuable in this season. 

Share Passions

We all have passions and hobbies that we are interested in. it’s important to take the time to make sure that you are appreciating your partner’s passions and showing them that this is the case. We love watching college basketball (especially live!) together, so you’re likely to find us in the stands rooting for our favorite teams. Of course, now that our favorite teams are done playing this season, we’ll still settle in on the couch and watch other March Madness games. 

We also like watching shows together in the quiet house once our three kids have gone to bed. When the weather cooperates, we like exploring creeks and woods on our property. This past spring, I even went turkey hunting with him for the first time. I don’t care about the hunting part, but I loved having a good fiction book to enjoy nature with my husband. 

We love to travel with our family and explore new places and revisit familiar ones. (Our last adult-only trip was to Colorado, and I definitely want to go back!) Thankfully, we agree that museums aren’t our thing! 

Embrace Spontaneity

Of course, you need to make sure that you are injecting a healthy level of spontaneity into your relationship. The surprise gifts, trips, and dinners are valuable for connection plus they’re fun! Remember, gifts and surprises don’t have to be extravagant, but it’s truly the thought that counts. Everyone wants to be remembered, so grab a favorite candy bar, jot a note, or send a lovey text. 

I could tell you about a million things we’ve gotten wrong in building our relationship and marriage, but these are a few of the things we’ve gotten right. Thankfully, there’s been more right than wrong, and here we are together ready for whatever adventure comes our way next. 

Breathing easier in the mountains

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I’ve been unpacked for a couple of weeks, but I’m still thinking about Colorado.

For my 40th birthday in May, Greg planned a trip for us to go to Colorado. We postponed the original June plan a couple of months because the beginning of summer was hard for me. But we flew out three days exactly after I turned 40 on what was also our 17th anniversary to see some friends and some mountains. I’m grateful for the way Greg knows me and knew I needed this trip at this time.

While I love planning trips, part of the joy of this gift is Greg mapped out our route and planned the general itinerary. We sat down together one night to book flights, hotels, and some activities for our four days in Colorado. I’d never been and was happy to go this way!

Monument / Colorado Springs

After breakfast at Snooze in Denver, we headed to Monument, just north of Colorado Springs, where my high school friend Dustin & Shelley (well, Dustin and I have been friends since middle school …) live. They fed us at a delicious, local Mexican restaurant called La Casa Fiesta, where I learned about calabacitas, before giving us a tour of Garden of the Gods.

Pikes Peak

Greg drove up to the summit at Pikes Peak, which is 14,115 feet high. The drive between mile markers 13 and 16 was particularly tense, but we parked at the last shuttle lot at mile marker 16 and took a shuttle to the top, where there was construction happening for a new visitors center. Even so, the views were amazing. We were at the top around noon and it was 50 degrees, compared to 80 degrees at the same time in Colorado Springs.

Breckenridge

The drive from Pikes Peak to Breckenridge might have been my favorite stretch of highway. The meadows and little towns between the mountains were lovely. I kept taking pictures of this drive (and all the others) and the images just don’t do the reality justice.

(But you can see all my attempts at capturing this lovely state here.)

We stayed at the River Mountain Lodge in downtown Breckenridge and really loved the hotel. The location was perfect and the room was spacious yet cozy. We didn’t get to explore downtown Breck as much as we had hoped because it was raining by the time we got there. We did eat a delicious meal at Blue River Bistro.

The next morning we had breakfast at Columbine Cafe and then rode the gondola up a mountain to where there were summer activities on what would otherwise be a ski slope. We took a chairlift up farther and an alpine slide down.

Idaho Springs

We didn’t get much time in Breckenridge because we had an early afternoon whitewater rafting reservation with Colorado Adventure Center in Idaho Springs. We did the beginner trip and really enjoyed the trip in the creek that’s fed by snow runoff and was still 38 degrees.

Estes Park

After rafting, we headed toward Estes Park, mostly on the Peak to Peak Highway, which was a gorgeous drive through and around and up and down mountains. We got there in time for dinner at The Grubsteak and dessert on the strip of downtown shops. Greg had ice cream in a homemade chocolate chip cone from the Danish Cone Factory and I had the best taffy I’ve ever tasted from Purple Mountain Taffy.

We stayed at a quaint hotel called Nicky’s Resort at which I wish we’d had more time to eat and relax. In the morning, we ate cinnamon rolls at a Cinnamon’s Bakery and then headed into Rocky National Park. Greg drove us along Trail Ridge Road, which is the highest continuously paved road. The highest point of this road that meanders right through mountain tundra is 12,183 feet. Once again, the temperatures on top of the mountain were about 30 degrees colder and prompted us to put on sweatshirts.

We spent some more time walking around downtown Estes Park. We lunched at Bob and Tony’s Pizza before I discovered Cliffhanger Used Books, where I could have spent even more time than I did. We drove around Estes Park taking in some more lovely views before we headed back to Denver, where we visited with our college friend Sarah before heading to the airport to fly home.

Conclusion

The road trip really worked for us, giving us time to take in views, listen to music, and talk about whatever came to mind. I really loved Colorado and already hope to take my kids back someday, perhaps even spending more time in each location.

I’m a details person, but the great big mountains and views of all these different places in just four days were good for my soul. I felt like I could breathe easier (figuratively, hello, altitude) and remember my place in this great big world while enjoying the adventure with my husband.

Seventeen years

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Seventeen years of marriage. That seems oddly significant. Really, every year of marriage is significant because this world doesn’t value faithfulness and ordinary. But I sure do. Especially from my husband who works hard to take care of us and so many other people.

I was naive when we got married, have had to walk through some hard seasons, and am thankful for where I am. I didn’t expect most of this life to look like it does, but God has a way of surprising us with we didn’t know we needed.

Many years ago Greg told me to stop saying I didn’t like Asian food if I actually hadn’t tried it. (Turns out it’s a favorite!) He’s eaten many meals when I was figuring out how to cook and we’ve certainly landed on regular favorites. He’s shown me the beauty of country living and taught me more than I’ve ever cared to know about turkeys and deer.

We’ve been on trips around the country and even the world. We’ve been scared and surprised. We’ve laughed and cried. We’ve grieved and dreamed. He’s always ready to jump into a new adventure! And he quickly got on board with my desire to have a big porch and a pool.

We both grew up in houses where our friends gathered. And now that’s we want to happen here. We want to host gatherings, raise our kids to keep their eyes open, and build community starting with two ordinary people who have been a team for 17 years and pointing to Jesus.

I’m thankful Greg continues to choose me, walk by my side, and teach me about myself. I don’t even want to imagine my life without him.

Happy anniversary, husband.

*****

Read other anniversary posts: Five years. Six years. Seven years. Nine years. Ten years. Eleven years. Twelve years. Thirteen years. Fourteen years. Fifteen years. Sixteen years.