life

All the places she’ll go

May 6, 2023 by Kristin Leave a Comment

My first baby girl is 16 today. (Sigh …)

I know, I just really can’t even believe it. Not only does time seem to have flown by, but I remember my own life at 16. The full-circle moments are just odd, but I wouldn’t trade any season of motherhood. I would like to note: I like parenting teenagers, and I’d like to stay right here for a while before things change again!

So, here on the day Cate turns 16 and I celebrate her making me a mom, I want to tell you this story:

At the end of February, Cate had her first sleepover that wasn’t because we had out-of-town friends or needed logistic help. Our standard rule had been: No sleepovers. I won’t get into all the reasons why, but it was a boundary I didn’t find hard to parent even though there were seasons my eldest daughter didn’t understand.

Then during the basketball season, her friendships with three teammates strengthened. They had been her friends for years, thanks to the small, private school they all attended together. As a sophomore, Cate was playing her fourth season of basketball. The team had grown and improved during that time. Our beloved Lady Lions went 15-1 and my girl wanted to celebrate with her closest friends. She started talking to her dad and me about the possibility of a sleepover a few weeks before. I like these girls and was proud of their hard work, not just because they won but because they demonstrated their commitment to working hard with each other. Greg and I decided she could invite them to our house.

Two of the girls drove here in their own cars after their last game. That seemed monumental at the time. Seeing my girl’s friends’ vehicles in our driveway made me happy to have them gathering here. I don’t know how much sleeping happened at this sleepover, but I’m pretty sure the amounts of fruit snacks, Capri Suns, Gatorade, and Cheez-Its consumed were greater. They were easy and polite — and cleaned up after themselves. Greg and I have always wanted our house to be where our kids’ friends want to hang out. We’ll always have a fridge of drinks and plenty of Totino’s Pizza Rolls ready for them.

We’ve come so far in 16 years. I can’t even document all this girl has taught me. She’s so much like me, but she’s also much more secure in her faith than most teenagers I know. I love sharing my birthday week with her and then celebrating Mother’s Day right after. She recently started her first job at the local movie theater. She loves photography, basketball, and her friends, whose cars I hope continue to come and go from our driveway.

Rachel likes to ask how old Cate and Ben will be when she’s such and such age. The other day Rachel asked how old her sister would be when she was 16. I quickly added the eight years between them: 24. I just can’t imagine being there. Rachel called Cate my favorite, mostly based on the fact we chit-chat a lot in the car when she’s in the front seat with me and Rachel is disappointed she has to sit behind us. Cate chimed in, “I won’t even live at home when you’re 16. I’ll just be you, Mom, and Dad because Ben will be 22.” Whoa. It’s true. Rachel liked what she heard.

And I want time to slow down just a bit and I’m not thinking about that third child driving yet. Let me soak in the first one turning 16.

Happy birthday, Catherine Anna. You are my favorite. (So are your siblings.) I love all our talks, Jeopardy binges, watching you grow into the woman God created you to be, and getting to experience the teenage years with you. Here’s to learning to drive and all the places you’ll go.

*****

Look back on her life: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Baptism. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Of course, you can read more about her birth, adoption story, and early life in my book, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” too.

Cruising for Spring Break

April 25, 2023 by Kristin Leave a Comment

We spent Spring Break aboard Royal Caribbean’s Allure of the Seas. We traveled with some friends this time – and that was really fun! We’ve been on two Disney cruises, so we were excited to see how Royal Caribbean compared.

Things we learned …

Formal dining is one of our favorite parts even though we aren’t formal people. Showing up and being served delicious food I would never cook for myself is such a treat.
We needed a vacation from the heaviness of the world around us and a cruise really is a getaway from most all responsibilities. Momma needed an actual vacation. That’s what’s so great about cruises: They’re a true vacation once they’re planned, excursions are booked, and travel arrangements are made.
Two excursions on a week-long cruise aren’t enough. We were sad the windy weather kept us from stopping at Costa Maya. We loved our time in Roatan and Cozumel. In Roatan, we went on an island tour and had some beach time and a private resort. In Cozumel, we spent the day with our friends, interacting with dolphins, petting manatees, watching sea lions, and snorkeling at Chankanaab Beach Adventure Park.
We’ve outgrown the stateroom that barely accommodates five people.
Traveling with friends is fun; we’d never done that before. We did some things together with the Gachokas, including our day in Cozumel, and some things separately. Coming together for dinner each night was such a sweet spot of that whole week.
Our kids’ age gap — they’re currently 15, 13, and 7 — was magnified on this cruise, where many activities were for specific ages. Disney does whole-family entertainment better than probably anyone, although we certainly enjoyed entertainment and activities on the Royal Caribbean ship. The adults and teenagers did enjoy lots of trivia and Name That Tune games. Rachel was a fish and wanted in the pools at any moment possible. Ben improved his boogie-boarding skills. Cate played pickleball and went to dance fitness classes.
My kids have rarely been sunburned. Usually, they start getting tan when we are outside in the spring and then by summer just tan, but all this (very welcomed) sunshine at the beginning of April has even been a lot for their skin. At least they believe me about sunscreen now.
We also found the medical facility on our second night on the ship because Rachel was running a fever and had a sore throat. I thought she had strep. She didn’t. She also didn’t have covid, thankfully. The nice doctor from Tanzania supplied us with an antibiotic for tonsillitis. Thankfully, she was back to herself the following day.

Shout out to my friend Misty Grogan for helping me plan our cruise. She recently announced she’s starting her own travel agency with her daughter. I recommend Kingdom Seekers Travel to help you plan your next trip – especially if you want to go to Disney or Universal, on a cruise, or to an all-inclusive resort.

*****

I have a bunch of photos uploaded on Facebook and posts saved as an Instagram highlight, so be sure to check out those to see more of the fun.

How to take care of yourself

April 19, 2023 by Kristin Leave a Comment

I’ve lived in landlocked Kentucky all my (almost) 44 years. I love it here, but sometimes I feel trapped. Going to the shoreline, even of Kentucky Lake, helps me take a deep breath and regroup. I actually did that in the middle of the week because anxiety and overwhelm were swirling around in my head. I needed to tend to some things at my vacation rental, but I really needed a deep breath of fresh air.

I’m notorious for going and going and going and doing and doing and doing until I am forced to take a break. I thought I had taken a healthy, long break on Spring Break, but I dived right back into life with decisions and feelings. I needed to regroup, again – and it was only Wednesday.

Our world loves to talk about self-care. And, honestly, I’m not really into that phrase, but I am into squeezing in some moments of caring for myself as I go about this crazy life.

In general, when we don’t take time out for ourselves and our regular duties, we can become tired and stressed. Those feelings can build on one another and leave us overwhelmed. This isn’t good for ourselves or anyone around us. Just ask my husband!

Regrouping to focus on our physical, mental, and spiritual health is necessary. You may not be able to take a whole self-care day, but we can all find some time to tend to our own hearts and souls before we move on to the next thing.

Delegate duties

I have to remind myself it’s okay to ask for help. My husband and kids live here too. My friends are willing to help. Groceries can be delivered. Chores can wait. Hire a house cleaner. I have to remind myself not everything had to get done in one day.

I love to cook, but sometimes caring for myself involves not preparing a meal so I can use that time for something else. After soccer practice, you’re liking to find us eating some chicken strips or visiting the local steakhouse. On these nights, not only do I not cook, but I also don’t have to do the dishes!

Declutter

Clutter impacts my mental state, so cleaning the house – even quickly – helps restore order and peace. I especially love donating the pile of clothes that don’t fit the kids anymore and taking out the trash.

Change the scenery

Sometimes stepping away from chores and work is the best thing. Restoring peace also means I’ll be more productive later. So take that walk – even just down your driveway, around the block, or through the woods. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy, just get in some steps and clear your head. I like to talk with a friend, listen to music or a podcast, or pray while I walk. Sometimes even nature sounds alone help soothe my soul.

I also have to change my mental scenery sometimes. When I am anxious or overwhelmed, I tend to believe lies and have to fight for the truth to come back to the forefront of my mind. Often I do this by talking with someone I trust, praying and meditating, slowing down, and listening to a playlist I put together called “Things That Are True.” (Listen on Spotify or Apple Music.)

Do what you enjoy

Free time shouldn’t always be spent catching up on a household or work project. Rather, take time to do something you enjoy. I’m likely to read a book, watch a TV show, plan a trip, catch up with a friend, or take photos.

Be grateful

Don’t let the busyness of life drown out the gifts. When I get overwhelmed, I love to turn on a playlist that prompts me to thank God for all the goodness in my life. When I start writing or reciting in my head all the gifts, the overwhelm and stress subsides. Writing a gratitude list helps me appreciate real-life gifts, people, and places when life feels stressful and overwhelming. Gratitude helps me reframe situations: Chores become ways to bless people and trials become ways to see the truth.

Call it self-care or whatever else, but we all need to care of our minds and hearts. I know firsthand what happens if we don’t and nobody we love needs that version of us.

How do you take care of yourself in the midst of everyday life?