Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

How an actual fire helped refine my faith

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Almost two years ago, my son, who was seven at the time, sustained second-degree burns to his face and hands. His wounds needed about two weeks to heal, which truly amazed me. But I’m still being refined by what I learned of community during that time.

To be refined means to have unwanted elements removed by a process. In other words, when we refined, we are purified, clarified, cleansed, developed, and improved.

Ben was helping Greg with a burn pile of brush when a flame flared up and my boy was standing too close. He put his hands in front of his face, probably actually protecting his eyes, but the vapors of the flames still got him. He spent two nights at Vanderbilt Medical Center’s burn unit. We come home with a bag of wound care supplies and painkillers and a faith that was being proven pure.

Maybe it hasn’t been an actual fire in your life. Maybe you’ve walked through a broken relationship, expectations that haven’t been met, disappointment caused by someone you love, dreams that haven’t come true, grief from losing someone near, or another physical-impairing experience. Maybe you’ve been sick or anxious or worried or lost.

Whatever the figurative fire that’s burned our lives,
we can be refined and the people around us can help.

{Tweet that.}

Read more of how this fire and our community helped refine my faith at Lyli Dunbar’s blog. I’m happy to be part of her Refined series. {CONTINUE READING …}

Learning to delight in God

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I met Beth Johnson at a conference hosted by a mutual friend in southern Illinois. We’ve been Facebook friends since and I’ve followed her infertility journey from afar. She recently self-published an ebook called “The Burden of Hope: I Am More Than Barren” and I’m happy she’s sharing an excerpt from that here on my {virtual} porch.

*****

Stuck between obedience and hope, that’s where I found myself the majority of the time. I wanted nothing more than to be obedient to God, to trust him with my future, and let him take complete control. And then there was hope – not wanting to let go of the miracle I had always felt was going to happen. I questioned on too many occasions to count, if I stopped hoping for my miracle, would I ever receive it?

God wants us to hope. He also wants us to be obedient and to trust that he has our future in his hands. In my life, hoping and being obedient were all jumbled up, everything was constantly contradicted in my mind and heart. So, I got to the point where the burden of hoping was too painful. The thought of being let down by my Lord was unbearable. That’s when it clicked: If I was let down because I didn’t get a baby, it wasn’t God’s fault; I am the one who put myself in a position of being disappointed.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and
he will give you the desires of your heart.”

–Psalm 37:4

I had been living this verse all wrong; it wasn’t that if I delighted in God he would give me whatever I wanted; it’s that when I delight in him, my desires change to his desires for me, which are far better than anything I could ever dream up. If we keep our focus on what we want, rather than what God wants for us, we will end up discouraged. Even if God gives us what we want, which he has been known to do, it won’t be with the fullness and joy we could have had if we accepted what he wanted for us.

Take time to read that again: Even if God gives us what we want, it won’t be with the fullness and joy we could have had if we accepted what he wanted for us.

Success through infertility does not equal a baby.

{Tweet that.}

When that truth clicked for me, I was in the middle of leading worship at church. We were singing the song Healer by one of my favorite worship leaders, Kari Jobe. Into the microphone, I was singing the lyrics, “I believe you’re my healer, I believe you are all I need …” I felt the question in my gut, “Why are you lying?” Ignoring it, I continued, “I believe you’re my portion. I believe you’re more than enough for me, Jesus you’re all I need …” Again, the questioning, “Why are you singing this song? Would a baby really be enough for you? Am I not enough for you?”

I heard those words in my heart so extremely loud that I couldn’t hear the guitar anymore! I couldn’t sing anymore! I could not stop crying. I was on stage, leading my church in song and thankfully my sister, who was singing backup, took over and finished it for me. In that moment I was completely convicted of my pride and thankfully it was the last song in the set.

As soon as the song was over, I quietly walked off the stage, my eyes on the carpet ahead of me, not looking at anyone as I headed straight to the bathroom. I cried and prayed in that bathroom stall, not caring if anyone came in or not, “God, You ARE my portion! God, You ARE enough for me! I don’t NEED a baby! I NEED YOU!”

My life was changed in that moment. Although I do fully believe with everything in me, that because of the decision I made at five years old to believe in Jesus, I will live with him eternally in heaven. I find this bathroom-stall moment was a turning point in my relationship with my Creator. I went from here – hand held up in front of my chin – to here – hand held way up over my head! I went from being someone who attended church and just told God that I loved him, to a woman who wanted to live every second of her life for HIS glory and for HIS purpose, and in that church bathroom stall, I began learning how to completely delight myself in HIM.

Learning to delight in God was amazing, I had some mountaintop experiences with my Savior, I woke up early most mornings to spend time in the Word, prayer, and worship. Life was great! I had surrendered my will to God, and faithfully trusted him with everything. God had allowed JT and me to stop renting a townhouse and purchase our very first home. JT and I felt God alive in our marriage. We prayed together daily and felt God’s blessings on our lives. Everything was pretty much perfect for almost two years, and then came Sunday …

*****

Beth Johnson tells more of her story, including what happened on that Sunday, in her new book, “The Burden of Hope: I Am More Than Barren,” which is now available on Amazon. Beth is a wife, author, and worship leader in Paducah, Kentucky. She has a heart for women and the real-life, daily issues they face. You can find her on Facebook.

*****

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God unites families for His glory

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My new friendship with Michaela Stanton is one of the sweetest gifts from our trip to Washington, D.C., in September. She tells the story of us meeting in her post, but our time together as part of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute’s Angels in Adoption program was just the beginning of God uniting our shared passions for advocating for adoptive and foster families. Our families have some shared birthdays, like to do some of the same things, and have plans in the year to come.

Please welcome Michaela to the porch today as she shares a piece of her family’s story as National Adoption Awareness Month closes.

*****

I woke the morning of Nov. 21, 2017, in Ethiopia, hopeful yet anxious. I’ll never forget the scripture on my mind on the day I got to tell a judge I will love my daughter forever. Once I read Isaiah 25:1 peace came upon me. “Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.” Perfect faithfulness. Wonderful things. Things planned long ago. Yes to all of that. I soaked those words deep into my heart and rested in them. Our wonderful daughter was God’s plan for our family long ago because of His perfect faithfulness. Praise The Lord!

His glory shines in every adoption story. Just as every birth is His miracle, so is every story of adoption. As I reflect on Nov. 21, 2017, as we celebrate our first anniversary of being a family of five, I rejoice, mourn, hurt, and love so much more deeply. That day was predestined by our Savior and happened right in the midst of National Adoption Awareness Month and Thanksgiving season.

Our daughter doesn’t deserve the heartache of her story, but I have faith the Lord will use it to redeem so much more than her first 26 months of life. Isaiah 25:1 not only gave me peace the day I went before the judge to claim her as ours, Isaiah 25:1 is God’s scripture for Sara claiming her as his. He has great things planned for her life.

I always pray our lives will glorify God and we will never seek to own our stories but let the world know they belong to our Savior. I had no idea what that looks like day to day, but when we were invited in July by U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell to join the annual Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute’s Angels in Adoption ceremony on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C., I immediately began to ask the Lord to go before us and keep his story of our Sara’s adoption his and not let us make it ours. After all, Sara is his and he is the only one who has been with her since before her birth. He knows every coo she made, every tear she cried, every hunger pain, every smile, every fear and every trauma she has and is overcoming.

In late September, we joined hundreds of other families from across the United States to celebrate adoption and children finding forever families. I prayed Sara’s story would glorify God during this trip, but I was not prepared for the overwhelming burden for the orphan that resurfaced in my soul. Washington D.C. was more than just a trip to accept a pin, talk about God’s story, and spend time with my family.

God gave us so many gifts during this trip. The first was meeting Kristin Taylor! Seriously, how did God hide her and Greg from us for so long? I mean, my husband and Greg graduated from Murray State University in 2000 then Kristin and I graduated in 2001. So we went to college together for four years and we never met. We met in the lobby of a hotel in D.C.!

Another gift was meeting in person an adoptive momma who I connected with during our Ethiopian adoption walks. Kelli Belt from Oklahoma is a powerful, strong, supportive mom who (who knew!) also was good friends with Kristin! {Kelli also shared here recently!} It was a sweet three days of celebrating children, meeting friends face to face for the first time, and meeting new friends who you feel like you’ve known forever! Our God is in the details, friends! He is such the perfect gift giver.

James 1:27 has never rung truer than after our visit to Washington D.C. I had this scripture on the back of my tank when I ran my first half marathon. It’s a scripture that lays on my heart and sends me into prayer asking the Lord where He is leading me. Sara’s story is one of thousands of stories of children finding their forever home. Our time in Washington, D.C. reopened my eyes not only to children internationally without families but also to children in our own backyard who are begging for a family.

As Christians, we can easily get into our own bubbles without even realizing it. Serving those that are easy to serve, loving those that are easy to love, but James 1:27 calls us to pure religion, which is to take care of the orphans and widows in their distress and to not be polluted by the world. Meeting and spending three days with fellow adoptive families who have fostered 50+ children, those who have adopted 10 children, those who have adopted one, and those who spend their entire lives advocating for all children, I see God at work for His children.

All of this is overwhelming from a human perspective, but if we turn our heart toward Jesus and simply ask what our next steps are, He will guide us. And that’s exactly where I am right now. What are my next steps in helping foster children, supporting foster families, and advocating for those without a voice?

As I continue to pray about where the Lord is calling me next, please know I am praying for those of you who are in the trenches of adoption – whether it’s waiting, post-adoption, or serving these families. The spiritual warfare is real! But goodness, these children are so worth it!

*****

Michaela Stanton is a wife and mom to three who seeks Jesus every day. She lives in Louisville, Kentucky, and is passionate about adoption and family.

*****

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