Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Helping adopted teens belong

June 8, 2022 by Kristin Leave a Comment

The teenage years get a bad rap – and they certainly can be difficult. But they can also be wonderful, at least in my brief time raising a teenager. 

Our family was created by three adoption processes when our children were newborns. Now they’re 6, 12, and 15. That’s one teenager and one less than six months from becoming one! And, let me let you in on a little secret, I like having big kids. They’re fun and funny. I enjoy being with them and making memories. Of course, they have hormones and social awkwardness too. (Read our adoption stories in my book, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family.”)

Sometimes fitting can be difficult for any teenager. Along with the struggles of growing up and developing cognitive skills that will help any child become a successful adult, teenagers also have to tackle major physical and psychological changes and challenges. 

When children’s story includes adoption, there can be another layer of challenge for their sense of belonging. Whether your child has been adopted from birth, like ours, or later in childhood but has grown up in your family, or was adopted as an older child, you may have to tackle some unique challenges. 

Dealing with any challenges as a family helps secure the child’s sense of belonging in the nuclear family before going out into the world. 

Open Communication

The teenage years don’t have to mean parents and their older kids are opponents. Open communication helps families work together and stay on the same page, even when that page has to change as we navigate life. The stereotype is most teenagers don’t like talking to their parents, but fostering open communication in the early years helps those lines remain open when those toddlers grow into teenagers. I’m thankful my kids talk to me – and I remind myself of this blessing when there are so, so many words! 

One way to make yourself as the parent more approachable to teenagers is to open up to them. In the vulnerability equation, someone has to go first. It’s okay for the first step to be by the parent. Tell them how you feel, be honest about your own struggles, and share stories from your own life.

Another way to become more approachable to your children is to spend free time with them. Share a regular activity with them to take the pressure of being together. Nobody likes being lectured or interrogated, but people, including teenagers, may be happy to talk when they’re doing something they enjoy.

Privacy is okay because our teenagers are people too, but parents still need to have access to phone and email messages. Allowing teens to cultivate relationships outside the home with friends is important, but so are boundaries. A private journal is a good privacy option, but a therapist can help your teenagers to talk through their life with another, trusted person.

Language and Cultural Barriers

Some adopted children and teenagers have different cultural heritages. This could lead to attachment and belonging issues, but it can also be celebrated. Even teenagers who haven’t been adopted can have identity struggles, but cultural barriers from adoption can certainly compound this. Find ways to connect with them by eating food, listening to music, and visiting places related to their story. 

If the child or teenager speaks a different language, then a newcomer book can help them to learn English. This doesn’t just make it easier for you to communicate, but it also allows them to fit in – both in and out of your family. Of course, you may want to learn their language too to help bridge that communication gap. 

Whatever the issue, just work through it together. Don’t be afraid to find trusted people to come alongside you as you navigate life – with a teenager and whatever other season you may find yourself. 

*****

There are so many good adoption resources out there. Empowered to Connect, Jockey Being Family, and The Center for Adoption Support & Education are full of information. Find more free resources on my website.

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Laundry talk

June 1, 2022 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Let’s talk laundry! And, yes, that’s a live look into my laundry room.

I’m thankful to have a laundry room separated from the rest of my house. I can even close the door when I want to ignore the chore! The room is mostly dedicated to actual laundry, although the same room also houses a utility sink, our extra fridge of mostly drinks, and shelves with cleaning supplies. It’s right by the door people use, so it’s a convenient, functional space that works for our life. 

Certain things make a laundry room most effective: storage spaces, the right appliances, and a safe space for manuals (so you know where to look when your washing machine won’t spin correctly!). 

Quality machines

I replaced my washer and dryer a few years ago, and I got a deep washer that allows me to do large loads of laundry. I got the matching dryer that also accommodates the large loads. The side-by-side option works great in my space, but considering stacking appliances is also a good way to go for a smaller space.  

Counter space

I had a counter installed in my laundry room a couple of years ago, and it truly makes folding laundry much better! On a good day, I can fold as the loads finish in the dryer. Or I can pile the load for when I have time to deal with it. This counter space keeps me from piling the clothes elsewhere in the house while they await my attention! I even use the counter/bench space to organize socks – especially when the loose socks bin is too full for my liking!

Great storage

My counter is the right height for my laundry baskets to fit underneath it. I also have shelves above my washer and dryer for the detergent, stain sprays, sock bins, beach towels when it’s not pool season, and other household supplies. 

Baskets

Each person has a laundry basket for dirty laundry in their bedroom and then brings their dirty clothes to a laundry basket in the laundry room. Plus there’s a basket in the laundry room for towels. I wash laundry by person, so the sorting is done on the front end. Then when the clothes are washed, dried, and folded, my kids can put theirs away! 

Hanging space

Near the counter is also a space for hang-up clothes. I find it I hang shirts, dresses, and Greg’s work pants as they come out of the dryer, everybody’s wardrobe looks better. I don’t like to iron, so this is an important step for me! 

What about your space helps you tackle this chore?

I won’t go as far as to say the laundry room is my favorite room in the house, but it’s definitely practical and I’m grateful for the space to serve my family this way. And if you’ve been here, you’ve probably grabbed a cold drink from the extra fridge. 

Now, it’s time to go move around some loads and tidy that counter space!

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Fifteen

May 6, 2022 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Cate’s birthday is perfectly situated right between my birthday and Mother’s Day. Her life is a gift over and over again for me. She made me a mom and her life continues nudging me to be a better person. 

Another woman gave her life and chose me to be her mom – a gift beyond anything I can truly adequately express my appreciation. Truthfully, as I get old and my firstborn girl gets older, the gift of adoption seems more complicated and more beautiful. In so many ways parenting Cate has come naturally because she’s so much like me. Physically, I didn’t think she’d look like Greg and me, but she blends right in, a sweet reminder God had a plan greater than anything I could have scripted. And, believe me, I tried. 

Cate is a kind leader, country music fan, aspiring photographer, an introvert who loves a night at home with no plans, and a basketball fan. She’s finishing her freshman year and already thinking about what comes next. I’ve watched her navigate shifts in some friendships this year. 

I joke about her building a house on the other side of our property, but maybe I’m not really joking. My daughter is someone I have chosen since the day I met her in an Indiana hospital room and will always want to choose. It’s a sweet thing to truly like the girl you’ve been gifted to raise. 

I love having Cate sit next to me upfront in the minivan so we can talk about her day and our lives. Rachel asks regularly from the seat behind us, “Why do you guys always chit-chat?” I’m thankful we have so much to say to each other and that I get to be Cate’s mom. 

Happy 15th birthday, Catherine Anna. Your life is a gift to me, your dad, your brother, your sister, your relatives, your friends, and the world. Watching you grow and become has been another gift to me. I know you’re going to do great things because you live out the story God began before you were even born. Let’s keep chit-chatting about it all. 

*****

Look back on her life: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Baptism. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Of course, you can read more about her birth, adoption story, and early life in my book, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” too.

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our ninth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear sixth-grade boy, and our joy-filled kindergarten girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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We are having fun — and some forced sibling love We are having fun — and some forced sibling love — at @wildernessresort in Wisconsin Dells. We’ve played at four water parks here since we arrived yesterday afternoon. 💦

#WildernessWI #WeAreFamily #WildernessResort #roadtrip #88daysofsummer #TeamTaylor #reallife #wisconsin #wisconsindells
Nothing like starting a road trip by finishing an Nothing like starting a road trip by finishing an @elinhilderbrand book. I’d held off reading “Winter in Paradise” because the premise that a father’s death exposes his secret life hits way too close to home. But, really, fiction books can be therapeutic. 

I appreciated the raw emotions of a wife, two brothers, and others learning of tragedy and processing the ripples of that moment. Of course, who doesn’t love a story set in the U.S. Virgin Islands? AND it’s this the first in a three-book series, and I’ve got the next two ready to go on my Kindle. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #booklover #kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite #roadtrip
My kids had a yearbook signing party today. And ki My kids had a yearbook signing party today. And kids today don’t know how to sign yearbooks. Cate, my rising sophomore, says it’s because they have phones to take photos and text each other. She’s probably right. 

But the whole conversation and experience took me down memory lane. So much so, I got these yearbooks from my high school days off my bookshelf and read notes. Admittedly, I can’t remember a few people who proclaimed what a great friend I was and I never called some people who wanted to KIT — that’s Keep In Touch, kids — and left their phone numbers (and pager number in one instance!)! 🤣 

I also proceeded to text the three friends (well, really, five, because two girls married two guy friends of mine) with whom I do actually KIT. I have their numbers saved in my iPhone, thankfully. We have made grown-up memories together. We message and try to see each other. My husband knows their maiden names. 

Truly, how has it been 25 years since I graduated from Oldham County High School? I’m sitting on the porch now, rememebering how faithful God has been and thinking about how high school seems like a lifetime ago but also like yesterday. 💙

HAGS, everybody! 

#memorylane #highschool #livingfaithfully #yearbooks #choosingJOY #reallife
Cat nap! 💕 #catsofinstagram #thirdchild #napt Cat nap! 💕 

#catsofinstagram #thirdchild #naptimeshenanigans #PorchStories #reallife #88daysofsummer #summerisbest
A weekend mostly at home meant I read this domesti A weekend mostly at home meant I read this domestic thriller. I’ve always seen @diane.chamberlain.author’s books, but this was the first one I read. I’ve already downloaded others to my Kindle. 

Living with a secret is all Eve Elliot knows. Her life unravels when she confesses to what she knows and there are ripple effects for her husband and two daughters. I thought I had it all figured out and then there was another surprise right at the end! 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite #booklover #weekending
Little fish 🐠 big pool 💦 happy place ☀️ Little fish 🐠 big pool 💦 happy place ☀️

#poolpeople #thirdchild #88daysofsummer #choosingJOY #PorchStories #weekending #momlife
Well, COVID has changed our vacation plans. Honest Well, COVID has changed our vacation plans. Honestly, it’s hard to believe two-plus years later, and COVID is still interrupting all kinds of things. I know it’s a privilege to travel, but there’s still disappointment. Regardless, we can’t board a cruise ship in Canada on Monday to go to Alaska when my boy tested positive for COVID last night. (Yes, twice. 🤦🏻‍♀️)

But the real point of this post: we are regrouping and going to Wisconsin Dells next week. I’m excited to see somewhere new, even if it’s not what I’d been planning. Let’s be honest, the logistics to get to the cruise were already a lot, so maybe this closer-to-home trip is meant to be right now. 

Anyway, who has been to Wisconsin Dells area? We found a condo and have a list of things going, but I’m accepting all entertainment and restaurant recommendations.

#wisconsindells #reallife #covid_19 #covid #momlife #88daysofsummer #summervacation
I don’t really want to get into an abortion deba I don’t really want to get into an abortion debate here, but I will always champion the unborn, advocate for life, and support mothers and families. When I say “choose life,” I mean in and out of the womb. Choosing life begins with not having an abortion, but it continues to advocating for adoption, foster care, support for moms in lots of different situations. 

Western Kentucky is blessed with resources that do this, including @lifehousemurray in Murray and @_hopecenter in Mayfield. Those are great places to send your money and diapers, recommend to moms expecting or raising little ones, and keep in your prayers. 

If you know someone fostering, we have Partners In Care Foster Closet that offers clothes and supplies to western Kentucky foster families. No strings attached. 

I will forever be an open book about adoption, so I’ll be happy to talk about that with anyone who desires to know more. I even wrote a book about our adoption stories: bit.ly/PeaceInTheProcess #linkinbio 

My three kids have life because three women chose it for them. Those decisions changed my life for the better, and that’s only one piece of a much bigger story. 

#prolife #chooselife #adoptionislove #momlife #authorlife #livingfaithfully #PeaceInTheProcess #reallife #unplannedpregnancy #adoption #family #sisters #siblinglove #currentevents #roevwade #lifematters
Here we are halfway through the year, and so far I Here we are halfway through the year, and so far I've read 40 books. That pace is well beyond my usual number for the year. Last year I read 62 total. I don't join challenges, plan what I'm going to read next, or even have a goal. But I still love keeping track. 

Some things to know about my reading habits: I like actual books, but I've been reading often on my waterproof Kindle Paperwhite. I introduced audiobooks into my life this year and especially enjoyed some memoirs while I was driving around while the kids were in school. I will quit books if I can't get into them, and I've done that a few times this year. I almost always have a book (or books, hello, Kindle) with me, you know, just in case I happen upon some time to read. Here are some other tips for making time for books and reading more.

Today #ontheblog I'm sharing the list of the 40 books I've read so far this year. #linkinbio What else do I need to read this year?

#KHTreads #bookstagram #booklover #kindlebooks #librarybooks #bloggerlife #amreading #favoritethings #choosingJOY
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