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How to have family time on busy days

March 21, 2022 by Kristin Leave a Comment

In this house, we have five people with five different schedules. Sometimes those schedules overlap and sometimes they don’t. We’ve got three extroverts, one lingering right between extrovert and introvert, and one introvert. So many preferences and personalities happen when five people live together. Add in appointments and activities, and finding family time can be difficult. Plus for the past five weeks, my mother-in-law has been staying with us while she works through some health troubles.

We believe making time for each other, especially during busy times, is important. Here are four ways to bring your loved ones closer during hectic days.

Have regular family dinners

This is one of our favorite ways to spend time together. I’d prefer every night to be a home-cooked meal that my oldest daughter or husband helps prepare. But that just isn’t our reality right now. Our dinner together might be chicken nuggets in the air fryer, a Red Baron pizza heated in the oven, or a drive-thru meal during soccer practice. We had an omelet bar last night for dinner, which meant everybody got what they wanted in their eggs and us parents got to cook together. Perhaps I’ll try this crispy baked pulled pork recipe soon.

I’ve had to reshape my views of family dinner, but it remains one of my favorite ways to connect with my people. In fact, I wrote a whole book about how gathering and nourishing loved ones change lives. I’m thankful that happens here in our home – or on the go together – most every night.

Play family games together

Games are a great way to have fun and bond with your loved ones. Truly, there are so many good games out there – card games, board games, and video games. We like to take turns picking which game we’ll play because everybody has different favorites. We don’t do many video games, but we do like the original Wii for Wii Sports and Wheel of Fortune! Game Nights foster opportunities for inside jokes, healthy competition, and connections that go beyond the score. (Here are some of our favorites!)

Stay involved in your kids’ activities

One way to spend time with your kids and show them that you care is by getting involved in their activities. Our kids’ soccer and basketball games are family events. It takes special circumstances for one of my kids to miss their siblings’ event. It’s just not an option because we value doing things together as a family. Of course, now that our kids are getting older, they have some of their own commitments that sometimes cause scheduling conflicts.

Getting involved in your child’s hobbies and interests is a great way to connect with them and support them at the same time. The times are one way we spend family time together, but they also help foster community outside the home with other families who enjoy some of the same activities.

Make time for yourself

Being able to work part-time from home allows me to have some time for myself to regroup and be ready for our busy evenings. I’m thankful for that kind of balance in my life. I know if I’m constantly running around trying to take care of everyone else, I will get burnt out eventually. I make sure to schedule regular preventative medical appointments, see a counselor when I need to process the chaos of life, and treat myself to massages. I also enjoy lunches and walks with friends. And y’all know I like to read.

Yes, we live a busy life. Yes, I sometimes wish it would slow down. But I also want to make the most of the season we’re in – right here, right now with my people.

We still gather together.

March 11, 2022 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Some friends and I laughed about the already apparent shortage of Clorox wipes on Friday, March 13, 2020. We were gathered together to eat Megan’s delicious grilled cheese sandwiches and play Nertz. We knew by that evening that school was shutting down one week at a time to let COVID-19 run its course.

That was our family’s last gathering with people for 11 weeks. Of course, we saw some of our people in porch or parking lot meetings when we turned in schoolwork, picked up library books, picked up groceries, and delivered things to each other. We missed our usual Easter gathering, the fun events that conclude a school year, and three birthday celebrations in our immediate family. I talked on the phone to my best friend while we walked on our separate streets.

We widened our circle on Memorial Day weekend with my extended family and then my best friend and her family. That summer we gradually widened it more. My kids started back to school in August and went almost all of the 2020-21 year – minus the weeks in February we had to shut down, just as our teachers and staff were getting their first COVID vaccines, because we had too many Upper School students testing positive. Mostly the virus made its way through the basketball teams. The summer of 2021 felt more normal, and gradually we’ve weathered variant strands and roller coaster local case numbers.

But life just hasn’t been the same since March 13, 2020.

We got vaccinated as we could in 2021 – me first with the school staff in February and then March, Greg shortly after mine in March thanks to an extra dose where a friend works, Cate in August because that was six months after she had COVID with her teammates, Ben and Rachel in November when the pediatric dose was available. I got my booster dose in November; Greg in December. Cate is getting hers soon. Of course, the medical aspects continued into 2022 when Rachel tested positive for a very mild case of COVID in January.

I could tell you all sorts of things I learned about my people, our family, the beauty of downtime, adjusting perspectives … and on and on. The pandemic ended up prompting us to look at our church life … and change churches. My capacity for a crowded calendar changed, but now I’m having to adjust again. Disappointment comes a little easier for certain people in my household because activities and events are rescheduled quicker than they would have been before. During the past two years, there has been so much information and so many lessons in my mind and heart.

But here’s the biggest thing I’ve learned: Gathering with your people matters.

Of course, I already believed this. I wrote a whole book about it. But here we are two years removed from when our worlds shut down. People reopened their lives when they were ready, but I wish we’d never shut ours down, at least not in the ways we did for those 11 weeks.

I was scared of what people were telling us, especially about how we could be carrying the virus and not know it and infect elderly loved ones. Of course, I’d never want to do that to anyone. Of course, I’m willing to take precautions for the sake of others. Of course, hindsight to 2020 really is 20/20.

But here we are. Two years later.

I know I’ve changed. I know my kids have changed. I know my family has changed as individuals and as a collective group of five. Relationships have changed – some certainly for the better. We attend a church that is exactly where we need to be. We know better now who are people truly are. We know those things because social distancing deepened our desire to gather as a family, as friends, in a church, and at school events.

Right now, gathering together looks different than before March 13, 2020. Some of that is pandemic-induced, but some of it is just our season of life.

We have two kids who play basketball. One of those and another kid play soccer, which is basically when it’s not basketball season. But gathering in the stands to cheer on our kids or with other little kids and moms while we wait for the big kids to finish practice matters too. We’ve become Wednesday night church people because we get to gather with a crew of people who make us laugh and point us to Jesus. We have developed new relationships when we gather in Sunday school class or when we chat in the pick-up line after school.

We gather as we go. We gather as we live out our lives. We gather together because we want to. And I’d have it no other way – especially when I think back to those 11 weeks in 2020.

Now bring on more Nertz games and grilled cheese sandwiches.

*****

Ironically, I did self-publish a book called “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories of Gathering & Nourishing People” in September 2020. Yeah, I don’t know who releases a book about gathering when much of the world is still social distancing. But I did. I don’t regret it, but I do feel led to share about it now that we are far beyond March 13, 2020. So much has changed, and so much has stayed the same.

On my website, you can learn more about my book, find some fun free resources including a printable about how hospitality looks in each season and a playlist, and read endorsements. Of course, you can buy the book at Amazon too.

The Power of Soup It Forward

March 8, 2022 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Circumstances have been like twisty roads around here lately. Twisty roads have blind curves and surprises and aren’t always efficient. Yep, that’s how I feel like my life has been lately.

In a phone call earlier this week that connected me to my life-long friend Katie, I listed sickness and schedules and some of the surprises. I told her it all felt like a lot. She told me life felt that way because it was a lot. I wasn’t whining or complaining, just naming the truth of this season. It’ll pass. Twisty roads will become straight, winter will become spring, and the calendar will offer more white space – eventually.

I also told Katie a story because it’s one of those sweet surprises that deserves to be documented. I told her I wanted to write it down, so that’s what I’m doing.

Toward the end of February, I confided in some friends about my actual life. My friend Lauren responded by saying she wanted to make dinner for my family. I texted her back: “I will accept any food! Thank you!” I was truly so appreciative she offered.

And then I forgot.

I remembered a week later, as soon as she walked toward in the church parking last Thursday morning holding a Crock Pot of soup. I was surprised and appreciative all over again.

See, Lauren knew my life felt like a lot. She knew there had been sickness, my mother-in-law with some minor health problems living with us while she awaits clearance to drive again, and mental exhaustion from parenting three kids in three different seasons with three different personalities. She knows the twists and turns in life can be a lot to handle.

Lauren couldn’t really straighten out my circumstances, but she could feed me and give me one less thing to think about. And what perfect timing it was! I made an impromptu trip to the walk-in medical clinic that evening because my youngest girl who had recently finished a round of amoxicillin still had achy ears.

While driving home that evening I heard on the radio Thursday, March 3 was National Soup It Forward Day! Y’all, I couldn’t make that up, and I couldn’t text Lauren quick enough. Neither of us had any idea, but God knew that day I needed to be fed by a friend. I am so thankful Lauren unknowingly participated in National Soup It Forward Day, offering a welcomed pitstop on the twisty road of life. The creamy Mexican chicken soup was delicious and it filled my stomach, nourished my soul, and served my family.

*****

This is a new story from my actual life, but it’s the kind of story that’s in my book, “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories of Gathering & Nourishing People.” Learn more here or buy it on Amazon.