Ben

Stories from the Porch in November

November 27, 2019 by Kristin 8 Comments

I know we have another month in this year, but my mind has been reflecting on 2019 and looking into 2020. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about all this, but this has been a good month in a hard year.

My counselor told me at an appointment earlier this month I was doing a good job taking care of myself. Honestly, it’s taken a lot of effort because, for me in this season, taking care of me meant pulling back from commitments on my calendar even when they involved people I enjoy being around. I had to let go of a regular commitment and say no to some invitations. I had to realize that my time at home didn’t always have to be filled with productivity.

My friends are my favorites, but this season of grieving and healing has been a time of drawing inward first and then going outward. Becoming a better me has meant I haven’t initiated as many plans with friends, which has meant I haven’t seen some friends as much because I’m usually the initiator. That brought a little more grief yet also has led to more healing. Life can be tricky.

I’m barely an extrovert, enough that I like making new friends and want to hold onto them all forever. But everything in life has seasons, which is a hard but refreshing reality. I’m thankful for my friends — the ones who knew to check on me, the ones who I can pick up with when we do cross paths, the ones who have kids for my kids to befriend, and the ones I miss.

So here’s to a month of gratitude and grace.

Highlights

We hosted a churchwide bonfire with soups and s’mores. It was a cold night, so people were in and out of our house. My favorite moments were singing some worship songs around the fire.

The same weekend, we had our 11th annual Friendsgiving with three other families. Through the years, it’s looked different and involved different families, but it’s a tradition we all love. I know some friends are for certain seasons of life, but I’m thankful despite circumstantial and logistical changes, Friendsgiving has remained. Here’s to traditions in a world full of changes and faithful friendships.

And then we had a Snow Day! On Nov. 12! It’s the earliest I remember that happening here in Kentucky. We enjoyed the day, of course, especially because it was also the day Disney+ started streaming, so we had so many movie-watching options.

My boy turned 10 last weekend! We had a fun basketball birthday party and went out for Mexican food with my whole family. (Yes, of course, I wrote my traditional letter to him.) Then they stayed around for an early Thanksgiving meal my mom and I prepared. I loved having my brother, his wife, their two kids, my sister, her husband, their three kids, and my mom here. We tied up some things with my dad’s estate and booked a house for a summer vacation in Michigan.

We are heading to Branson to celebrate Thanksgiving with Greg’s family, so I’m sure that will make this month’s highlights too!

Favorite things

Misfits Market – This fruit and vegetable delivery service is so fun! (Here’s a peek at my first box!) For as much as I like order and predictability, I like the surprise of discovering what’s inside the box and the challenge of using what is there. I decided this was the time to try out this delivery service because I needed some inspiration for preparing and eating healthy meals. You can save 25% with my referral link.

College basketball – Hooray for my favorite season that doesn’t involve in the pool! We plan our winter social life around the Murray State Racers’ schedule and love being fans of our alma mater. We keep up with the University of Kentucky and end up watching plenty of other games too.

#Gratitude30 challenge – It wasn’t really a challenge for me, but I loved the intentionality to share people, places and things from my life for which I’m thankful. There are a few more posts coming, so be sure to follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

From the shelves

I didn’t read much this month, but I’m in the middle of three books, which is actually pretty unusual for me. Usually I’m a one-book-at-a-time girl.

“The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Comer – I’ve listened to several podcasts with John Mark Comer, but “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” is his first book I’ve read and it’s a good one!

“Anger: Calming Your Heart (31 Devotionals for Life)” by Robert D. Jones – I know this book is only thirty-one devotionals, but I’ve been digesting it slowly. It’s been really important, convicting truth for my soul.

“Evvie Drake Starts Over” by Linda Holmes – I was ready to have a fiction read going. I started this one when I was early to school pickup and I’m looking forward to another pocket of time to read more. It’s classified as a romantic comedy, and so far I’m really enjoying the characters.

On the screen

I enjoyed watching “Dancing with the Stars” and made fans out of my kids too. Greg and I also have been into “Blacklist” and “Madam Secretary” too. Of course, we’re all looking forward to watching “Frozen 2” this week.

How was your November? I hope it’s been full of gratitude and grace for you too.

*****

Ben is ten!

November 23, 2019 by Kristin 1 Comment

Dear Ben,

I can’t believe you’re ten. I know, what a cliché to come from a mom’s mouth. But it’s true. I can recount so many details of this past decade with you. Honestly, I think I’ve grown up with you. I thought I knew things when we welcomed you into our family, but, goodness, I’ve learned and grown so much since then — and much of that is because of you.

Sometimes I get caught up in how different we are. You’re loud and like repetitive noises. You’re a morning person, but at least you still like to cuddle. You’re messy and disorganized. And you’re definitely not into the pictures I always want to take! (I convinced you to pose in front of the 9 3/4 platform sign at Universal’s Hogwarts Express because that was about your age then!)

But then I am reminded when I am my best self, I’m a lot like you. We like adventures and road trips and being with our people. We like roller coasters and eating chicken wings.

This year has been hard for me as a person and that’s certainly spilled over into motherhood. While I’ve been processing grief and trying to improve myself for you and your sisters, you’ve been growing in your own ways. Your pants keep getting shorter, your mind is quicker and more aware, and your emotions are at the forefront. We’ve had some hard conversations, meaningful moments, and fun adventures. I’m thankful you’ve been near this year. And I’m thankful I’ve gotten to be near you as you walk through some emotional, physical, and social changes of your own that haven’t exactly been easy.

We are better people together.

After spending every winter of your little life going to college basketball games, watching Ja Morant get drafted after his sophomore year at Murray State and having a stellar beginning to the Grizzlies season is what it took to make you into a true fan this year. You follow the teams more closely now and want to know scores and stats. We’re celebrating with a basketball-themed party this weekend. You’re getting ready to begin your second year of playing basketball of your own at our sweet, small school. You’re still into running club and soccer too.

Thankfully, you’ve found ways to love your big sister, who definitely loves and feels loved in different ways from you. Your little sister loves to laugh with (and at) you when y’all aren’t wrestling. You’re meant to be sandwiched between them and I love being reminded God built our family in ways I couldn’t have predicted.

You’re loyal and brave. You’re fun and funny. You’re curious and kind. And I’m certainly thankful you’re my son.

Happy birthday, Ben! Here’s to the second decade of your life and all the ways I’m sure you’ll surprise me.

Love,
Momma

*****

Look back on Ben’s life: 1 year old. 2 years old. 3 years old. 4 years old. 5 years old. 6 years old. 7 years old. 8 years old. 9 years old.

Stories from the Porch in October

October 31, 2019 by Kristin 2 Comments

I’m starting with all the clichés: I intended to publish this post on Wednesday, but my real, everyday life is sucking all my energy. I’ve been making white space on my calendar intentionally, but people (especially the youngest ones of this household) still require brainpower and emotions. Meanwhile, how is October over? That’s five-sixths of the year done and gone. I know the holidays are coming. I know the daylight is disappearing. I know the truth the calendar tells me. But my heart is having a hard time believing it.

Y’all, I’m basically just living in that tension of heart and head matters. I know, I was just talking about time and now I’ve turned to a more serious corner. But, it’s true. I may be 40 years old, but I’ve been learning about and processing feelings in a new way. It’s been hard to get here, even surrounded by a blessed life, good friends, and truth. But I’m glad I’m here, finally.

Being content in a tension where opposite feelings co-exist is hard for me. Navigating deeply rooted assumptions and expectations feel unnatural for me. Naming and recognizing and processing feelings is work for me because it’s time-consuming. But knowing emotional seasons change like the leaves on the trees is freeing for me. It’s a little scary too. And that’s okay.

And that’s where I am, here at October’s end. (And I wrote a little more about that on Instagram.)

Highlights

Well, of course, Disney World and Universal Studios were the highlights. What a fun trip – even with the rain and the crowds. See? Both of those things can be true: fun and rainy; fun and crowded. That’s just a hard place for me to land for some reason, or probably lots of reasons. But I did write recaps of both the Disney part and the Universal part. And I’m always happy to talk about Disney and amusement parks, if you’ve got questions or want opinions.

Then the weekend after our Fall Break trip, some friends came to visit for Murray State’s Homecoming. There were seven extra people in our house – and it left me so satisfied. I wrote about that on Instagram, of course.

And can I admit I’m a little sad soccer season is over for Ben and Rachel? For the sake of our free time, I’m happy not to be at the soccer fields usually three days a week. But as a mom, I truly like watching them play and make friends. And if they were going to excel in a sport, I’d choose soccer.

This was the first time Rachel had played, and I wondered if I’d regret starting her before she officially turned four. But I didn’t. She did well grasping the concept of scoring in whatever goal her team was going toward and enjoyed being with her new friends. Plus, she looked awfully cute in her tall, rainbow socks and pink cleats.

Oh, and yes, we swam on Oct. 2 and today my kids are wearing winter coats for the first time this season. I’m telling you, October had all the tension, went by too fast, and managed to surprise me some.

Favorite things

Slugs & Bugs Show – Randall Goodgame has written so many songs that have incorporated themselves into our lives. They’re sometimes silly and always filled with truth. Now there’s a wonderful show (13 episodes!) that incorporate those songs and the characters we’ve come to love through them. He teaches scripture and valuable lessons while singing and playing his songs with his friends. (More on that.)

Jason Gray’s devotional – I’ve told you before about how I really love Jason Gray’s new music that has been speaking so much truth about transformation into this season I’m in, making it more bearable and understandable. Then I saw online he had a free five-day devotional that went along with those songs and it’s truly fabulous. His words resonated with my soul and pointed me to the only One who can truly bring order to the chaos of this world. (Get the devotional here.)

New insulin pump – Last week I started using a new insulin pump, and I really love it. I’m excited for the advanced technology that helps me manage type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed in January 2004 and then started using a pump instead of needles in September 2011. I don’t talk a ton about diabetes online, but I’m always happy to discuss this, if anyone wants to know more.

From the bookshelf

“Everyone is Beautiful” and “Things You Save in a Fire” by Katherine Center – I took these two actual library books on our Disney World trip. I know, it’s easier to take my slender Kindle, but it’s been easier on my soul lately to look away from the screen. I finished “Everybody is Beautiful” on the plane ride down. Then I read bits of “Things You Save in a Fire” each night in our hotel and then finished it on the way home today. Katherine Center creates characters who remind me why our stories matter. Maybe we tell our spouse something he’s never heard or share a hard time with a friend. Our stories shape who we are and can change the people around us too. Plot wise, I liked “Things You Save in a Fire” better, but they both were enjoyable reads.

And here’s a quote from Katherine Center in “Things You Save in a Fire”:“Telling the story changed the story for me. Not what happened — that, I could never change — but how I responded to it. It was like I’d been averting my eyes from that memory for ten solid years, but I’d finally forced myself to look again. And what I saw, at twenty-six, was so different from what I remembered from when I was sixteen. Even though nothing about the story had changed, I had changed.”

“Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage” by Beth & Jeff McCord – I’m in the middle of this right now. The Enneagram has been good for me to understand myself and people around me, and this book takes a deeper dive into what that could do for a marriage. I’m also excited about these type-specific journals Beth McCord put together. I’ve already preordered mine and one of a gift.

“Strong, Brave, Loved: Empowering Reminders of Who You Really Are” by Holley Gerth – As a writer, Holley Gerth’s encouragement has been a gift. She wrote a beautiful endorsement for my book and has cheered for me. As a person, Holley’s words have truly been life-giving. They’ve spoken to me in various seasons of growing and living. They’ve been important to share with others. And they’ve gently offered truth and hope in a bossy, noisy world. I’m grateful for Holley’s newest devotional “Strong, Brave, Loved.” I can’t wait to dive in. The pages are beautiful inside and I know I will hear Holley’s sweet voice echoing everlasting truths God wants me to remember.

On the screen

We’ve been glad to catch up with President Elizabeth McCord and her crew on “Madam Secretary” and Raymond Reddington on “Blacklist,” which started this season with a bang!

How’s your October been?

*****