adoption

Learning more of our stories

December 17, 2018 by Kristin 2 Comments

Even with adoption, I know many details of my kids’ stories, but I still wanted to learn more about their ancestry – and so did they! I’ve been watching DNA tests, waiting for the prices to come down. They have, especially coupled with holiday specials, so I recently ordered all three kids the ancestry test kits from 23andMe.

The kids come with specific instructions and are simple to complete. Cate (11) and Ben (9) had no trouble filling the tube with spit, but Rachel (3) took forever and we apparently didn’t even get enough in (even though there’s a marked line) because hers wasn’t able to be tested. But 23andMe sent me a replacement kit that’s good for about a year for free. I didn’t even ask. That was just their emailed response. That’s good customer service!

The big kids loved getting their ancestry results back. I mailed them just after Thanksgiving, received an email when they were received, and then got emails less than two weeks later that the reports were ready. The reports included showed percentages of ancestry composition and a timeline of how many generations ago was the most recent ancestor from the given populations.

I ordered two more kits for Greg and myself. I’m totally intrigued by the ancestry information and look forward to learning more about mine. Greg is just being a good sport because I want to see his ancestry too!

Because all three of the kids were adopted at birth, I wanted some privacy so long-lost biological relatives couldn’t connect with us. I used their initials when I registered their kits and didn’t connect with other 23andMe users.

The ancestry DNA kits are typically $99, but they do go on sale. I paid $49 each for the kids during a Thanksgiving promotion and $69 for mine and Greg’s during another holiday promotion. The kits that test both DNA and medical are regularly $199. (You can save 10% with this link!)

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I paid for these kits with my own money during 23andMe’s Thanksgiving promotion and wanted to share my thoughts on the DNA testing process because several people have asked about my experience.

God unites families for His glory

November 28, 2018 by Kristin 8 Comments

My new friendship with Michaela Stanton is one of the sweetest gifts from our trip to Washington, D.C., in September. She tells the story of us meeting in her post, but our time together as part of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute’s Angels in Adoption program was just the beginning of God uniting our shared passions for advocating for adoptive and foster families. Our families have some shared birthdays, like to do some of the same things, and have plans in the year to come.

Please welcome Michaela to the porch today as she shares a piece of her family’s story as National Adoption Awareness Month closes.

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I woke the morning of Nov. 21, 2017, in Ethiopia, hopeful yet anxious. I’ll never forget the scripture on my mind on the day I got to tell a judge I will love my daughter forever. Once I read Isaiah 25:1 peace came upon me. “Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.” Perfect faithfulness. Wonderful things. Things planned long ago. Yes to all of that. I soaked those words deep into my heart and rested in them. Our wonderful daughter was God’s plan for our family long ago because of His perfect faithfulness. Praise The Lord!

His glory shines in every adoption story. Just as every birth is His miracle, so is every story of adoption. As I reflect on Nov. 21, 2017, as we celebrate our first anniversary of being a family of five, I rejoice, mourn, hurt, and love so much more deeply. That day was predestined by our Savior and happened right in the midst of National Adoption Awareness Month and Thanksgiving season.

Our daughter doesn’t deserve the heartache of her story, but I have faith the Lord will use it to redeem so much more than her first 26 months of life. Isaiah 25:1 not only gave me peace the day I went before the judge to claim her as ours, Isaiah 25:1 is God’s scripture for Sara claiming her as his. He has great things planned for her life.

I always pray our lives will glorify God and we will never seek to own our stories but let the world know they belong to our Savior. I had no idea what that looks like day to day, but when we were invited in July by U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell to join the annual Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute’s Angels in Adoption ceremony on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C., I immediately began to ask the Lord to go before us and keep his story of our Sara’s adoption his and not let us make it ours. After all, Sara is his and he is the only one who has been with her since before her birth. He knows every coo she made, every tear she cried, every hunger pain, every smile, every fear and every trauma she has and is overcoming.

In late September, we joined hundreds of other families from across the United States to celebrate adoption and children finding forever families. I prayed Sara’s story would glorify God during this trip, but I was not prepared for the overwhelming burden for the orphan that resurfaced in my soul. Washington D.C. was more than just a trip to accept a pin, talk about God’s story, and spend time with my family.

God gave us so many gifts during this trip. The first was meeting Kristin Taylor! Seriously, how did God hide her and Greg from us for so long? I mean, my husband and Greg graduated from Murray State University in 2000 then Kristin and I graduated in 2001. So we went to college together for four years and we never met. We met in the lobby of a hotel in D.C.!

Another gift was meeting in person an adoptive momma who I connected with during our Ethiopian adoption walks. Kelli Belt from Oklahoma is a powerful, strong, supportive mom who (who knew!) also was good friends with Kristin! {Kelli also shared here recently!} It was a sweet three days of celebrating children, meeting friends face to face for the first time, and meeting new friends who you feel like you’ve known forever! Our God is in the details, friends! He is such the perfect gift giver.

James 1:27 has never rung truer than after our visit to Washington D.C. I had this scripture on the back of my tank when I ran my first half marathon. It’s a scripture that lays on my heart and sends me into prayer asking the Lord where He is leading me. Sara’s story is one of thousands of stories of children finding their forever home. Our time in Washington, D.C. reopened my eyes not only to children internationally without families but also to children in our own backyard who are begging for a family.

As Christians, we can easily get into our own bubbles without even realizing it. Serving those that are easy to serve, loving those that are easy to love, but James 1:27 calls us to pure religion, which is to take care of the orphans and widows in their distress and to not be polluted by the world. Meeting and spending three days with fellow adoptive families who have fostered 50+ children, those who have adopted 10 children, those who have adopted one, and those who spend their entire lives advocating for all children, I see God at work for His children.

All of this is overwhelming from a human perspective, but if we turn our heart toward Jesus and simply ask what our next steps are, He will guide us. And that’s exactly where I am right now. What are my next steps in helping foster children, supporting foster families, and advocating for those without a voice?

As I continue to pray about where the Lord is calling me next, please know I am praying for those of you who are in the trenches of adoption – whether it’s waiting, post-adoption, or serving these families. The spiritual warfare is real! But goodness, these children are so worth it!

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Michaela Stanton is a wife and mom to three who seeks Jesus every day. She lives in Louisville, Kentucky, and is passionate about adoption and family.

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Beauty in the Broken

November 21, 2018 by Kristin 11 Comments

Kelli Belt and I met online in 2013, when we were both part of Holley Gerth’s “You Were Made for a God-Sized Dream” launch team that really became so much more. Then we met in person in 2014, when we shared a hotel room when some people from that same launch team gathered in Branson, Missouri. We’ve hung out in person a few times since, including a couple of months ago in Washington, D.C. because she also was an Angel in Adoption recipient. Kelli is a sweet friend, devoted momma, and advocate for others. I’m so happy she’s sharing a piece of her story here today for #PorchStories.

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In the middle of our adoption wait, I wrote this in my journal: “This place is trying to break my belief.” (June 26, 2015)

After 1,624 days of dreaming of what she looked like and another two years of loving her across oceans, I was able to hold her as my daughter. She was truly the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.

The miracles that unfolded throughout our adoption process still take my breath away when I take the time to reflect, and yet there were times I thought the wait was strangling the life right out of me.

The process of adopting our daughter from Ethiopia required a dependence and faith in God in a deeper way than we had ever exercised before. I longed for this itty bitty girl to be my daughter with everything in me and the longing only grew as time passed.

The days turned into weeks, and months, and years. In that time I experienced deep losses of my mom, grandma, and best friend. The waiting paired with grief left me disenchanted with the things that used to make me happy. I struggled to really be present. Holidays, family vacations, and celebrations felt empty. Life felt suspended in time. All I wanted was my daughter home.

I thought for sure the struggle would be over once she was home. I assumed all the things that seemed so hard and impossible would be easier just by finally having her home. Yet once she was home – and even as I was living the life I had dreamed of for more than half a decade – I still felt sad, guilty, angry, and overwhelmed.

Our new journey together was full of moments that were so beautiful that my heart wanted to burst but the struggle for joy remained.

In the chaos of life, I was certain our circumstances were unique and I was alone in my struggles. As I connected with other adoptive moms, I soon found many of them struggling in the same ways. Just realizing I was not alone helped eliminate some of my shame and guilt.

Never before had it been so evident how important myself care was. If I didn’t have the bandwidth to show up for my daughter in the way she needed, then more than likely I would exacerbate whatever problem with which we are dealing.

Over time I have become more aware of how I can take care of myself. I’m constantly working on being physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy so I can model that for my girl. I’m thankful God has been so gracious to use every step of this beautifully broken journey to grow us both.

Because of my own struggle, I am passionate about supporting adoptive moms in the wait and home in the trenches so they can show up for their children as their best selves. If they are struggling, I don’t want them to feel alone. If they know deep down there is a better way, I am determined to help them find it.

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Kelli Belt is a mom of three – Noah, 17; Micah, 14, and Addi May, 4. She and her husband Lloyd have been married 21 years, despite his hunting and fishing addictions. Although she makes her home in small-town Oklahoma, she’s not a stranger to exploring new places. She loves to travel, drink good coffee, and talk adoption. You can find her at kellibelt.com and on Instagram. Her new podcast “Beauty is Rising” and her first workshop, “Fill Your Cup” are both coming out next month.

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I also wanted to share with y’all a treat for you as you celebrate Thanksgiving and National Adoption Awareness Month closes out. You can download the Kindle version of my book for FREE starting today and through Sunday, Nov. 25. Even if you don’t have a Kindle, you can read it on any electronic device with the free Kindle app.

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