adoption

Glory is just around the corner

April 15, 2019 by Kristin 2 Comments

“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” — 1 Peter 4:12-13 (The Message)

Adoption built my faith and my family.

As I became a momma in this way I didn’t expect, I prayed for God to use our story to encourage others. While we were navigating the adoption process the first two times, I knew hardly anyone who had adopted or was adopted. Now, a momma of three kids who came to us through private, domestic adoptions, I also have a community of moms who understand.

This online community is the answer to my prayers. Yes, it’s one of the ways God is using our story, like I prayed for, but it’s also been a blessing to me as I navigate parenting. Within this community, I’ve often quoted 1 Peter 4:13 from The Message: “This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.”

Regardless of where people are in the process, I want these other moms to remember we’re in these adoptions and this life together. And the glory really is coming. This online community has been a safe space where we share prayer requests, resources, and updates. Some of us get to gather around real-life tables for lunches and watch our kids befriend one another.

That’s how I began the devotion I contributed to “Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents.”

About the book

Are you a foster or adoptive parent needing hope for this complex and sometimes lonely journey? Do you love your kids but feel discouraged? Are you misunderstood by people around you?

In “Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents,” you’ll find real, often raw, stories from adoptive and foster parents in the trenches; scripture and faith-filled hope, pointing you to Jesus; and honest reflections speaking courage to your soul and reminding you that you are not alone.

This devotional is written by 30 authors, all foster and adoptive parents, who offer a window into their own lives and families. You’ll recognize yourself time and time again in their words. “Faith, Hope, & Connection” is a treasure-trove of wisdom and grace for foster and adoptive families.

This 141-page paperback was independently published by The Adoption Connection for The Refresh Conference in February 2019.

About the editors

Melissa Corkum is an adoptee and adoptive mom. She and her husband are parents to six kids by both birth and adoption. Their open door policy has blessed them with lots of honorary family members along the way. They are Empowered to Connect Parent Trainers. She hates cleaning and loved extra-crispy fries. Find her online at her website, The Cork Board.

Lisa Qualls is a birth mom and adoptive mom. She and her husband have 12 kids by birth and adoption and even more through foster care. As a Trust-Based Relational Intervention practitioner, she walks alongside families with kids from “hard places.” She loves hosting big family dinners but hates grocery shopping, which is a problem. Find her online at her website, One Thankful Mom.

Together they host The Adoption Connection, which includes a website, podcasts, and Facebook group to support adoptive and foster families.

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I received a free copy of this devotional for being a contributing author, but I’ve already recommended it to others because I believe we are better when we encourage each other with our stories. If you’re looking for other adoption resources, I compiled a list of those too.

Stories from the Porch in March

March 27, 2019 by Kristin 24 Comments

Hey, #PorchStories friends! I’ve missed you. So let’s gather together and catch up. Other friends here, welcome! And I hope you stay awhile.

Oh, March Madness, you’re the best – in the basketball sense and in the seasonal sense as days warm up and the world becomes greener. As winter fades, I’m always grateful to live in a place where we truly have four seasons – sometimes in the same week – and get to remember how nothing stays the same.

Before you’re gone, let’s capture these March days.

Highlights

One of our favorite weekends of the year as a family is going to Evansville, Indiana, to watch our beloved Murray State Racers in the Ohio Valley Conference Tournament. Whoever wins get an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament, so we especially loved watching our Racers win two exciting games to clinch the title. (Here’s a post about how being a sports fan helps me be a better mom. It’s true.)

Of course, we’ve loved watching basketball. Our Racers have never made it to the Sweet Sixteen, but we certainly enjoyed their rout of Marquette in the first round behind the amazing performance of Ja Morant, who’s predicted to go early in the NBA Draft as a sophomore.

We spent another weekend at the lake to celebrate my best friend Jaclyn’s birthday. The weather was nicer than we expected and the six kids who are currently 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, and 3 played outside for hours and hours. Us adults played many games of Settlers of Catan while watching basketball. It was such a soul-refreshing weekend and a good time to get our vacation rental at Kentucky Lake ready for the renters coming this spring and summer.

Favorite things

Jockey Being Family backpacks – My kids had the best time unpacking the personalized backpacks our friends at Jockey Being Family sent them and I was glad to learn more about this incredible foundation that supports adoptive families. (Read more about what their backpacks contained and how we befriended these fine folks.)

California Design Den sheets – I randomly was asked if I wanted to review some sheets and the timing was perfect because I put them on my bed right after the time change during a week when my sleep was especially disjointed. Even weeks later, we still love them. (Read more about them.)

QuiFit water bottle – A friend of mine posted about her enormous water bottle a few times and I was totally intrigued because I needed something to encourage me to drink more water. My friend has the 128-ounce bottle, but I didn’t think I’d haul that around with me so I ended up getting the 64-ounce one. It’s still big to take with me, but it has worked well. After a couple of weeks, I’m drinking every ounce each day. I love the time markers down the side and the words of encouragement to keep on drinking water. It really helps me pace myself throughout the day.

From the bookshelf

“When We Were Worthy” by Marybeth Mayhew Whalen – It’s been on my list for a while and I got nervous about the story starting with teenagers in a car wreck because I’m super sensitive to that sort of thing since becoming a mom. But I’m glad it read it. The story is told well from different characters’ points of view. As the characters process what happened, the reader learns more about one night in a town called Worthy. Suspense and compassion are intertwined in this well-written story.

“He Said / She Said” by Erin Kelly – I found myself staying up late last night, reading while blow drying my hair this morning, and wanting to ignore the rest of the world this afternoon to finish this book. Obviously, it’s a good one. The suspenseful story reflects on an incident 15 years earlier and its ripple effects in present day. Going back and forth between the years adds to the suspense and surprises.

“If God Is For Us: The Everlasting Truth of Our Great Salvation” by Trillia Newbell – I’m working through this six-week study on Romans 8 and really loving it. Two decades ago, God first drew me to him through Romans 8:28, so I’m learning so much about the context of that promise through this study. I wrote a longer review of this book and have a giveaway happening (HERE) this week. Go on and enter, my friends!

On the screen

With March Madness games and plenty of exciting basketball, we are a little behind in our usual shows, but “Blacklist” has been especially good lately. I’m also excited to watch “The Village,” a new show awaiting me on my DVR. My oldest girl and I have been into the “The Voice” and “Survivor.”

How was YOUR March? Tell me all about it!

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Unpacking the value of family

March 19, 2019 by Kristin 4 Comments

People often tell me how much my kids look like me and I never know how to respond. I want to tell them every detail of how God built our family through three separate adoption processes. I want to tell them about my kids’ birth moms and all the things I hope they got from them. I want to tell them how adoption changed my life far beyond making me a mom.

But, usually, I smile and say, “Thank you.”

God made us a family through adoption and taught me how we become like those with whom we share our space and our hearts. That’s family, and I’m thankful for all the ripple effects of adoption.

One those was our trip to Washington, D.C., in September. We made new friends there. You’ve met Michaela Stanton, who has shared here about her family. We also got to know folks from Jockey Being Family, which is the underwear company’s foundation that provides support to adoptive families.

Jockey values us and so many other families who were created in unique ways.

We’ve remained in contact with Will, Stefanie, and Sammie from Jockey Being Family since D.C., and have even gotten to share a meal around a table. During that time they told us more about their upcoming annual gala, during which we’re going to be one of five families honored. Another family is our new friends the Stantons. Isn’t God good to give us these sweet surprises and friendships?

I’ve loved learning more about how Jockey Being Family supports adoptive families. One of those ways is through the backpacks they send kids who have been adopted.

My kids had the best time unpacking their personalized backpacks this week. They each included three books, a notebook, headphones, toothbrush and toothpaste, a Jockey stuffed animal bear, an ice pack, a blanket, and markers (or crayons, as in the case of my youngest). Us parents also got a tote with additional resources to use as we continue talking to our kids about adoption, a blanket, and pens.

Here are some of the specific resources included in the backpacks my kids (who are 11, 9, and 3) received:

“All About Marvelous Me! A Draw and Write Journal” by Becky J. Radtke – Kids can have fun reflecting on their past, present, and future! Loaded with fun things to do, such as fill-in-the-blanks, checklists, drawing, and journaling, this 64-page book will inspire children to write and illustrate details of their daily lives and inner thoughts. Activities include taking personality quizzes, designing the ultimate hangout, imagining the perfect job, and many other interesting personal challenges.
“All About Me: A Keepsake Journal for Kids” by Linda Kranz – This book offers “thought starters” to get kids’ creativity flowing to document life through writings and drawings.
“Angel and Her Wonderful Wheels” by Leanne Lauricella – Discover the story of Angel, a baby goat who is different from the others. Angel, who can’t walk like other goats, is rescued by Leanne Lauricella, founder of the Goats of Anarchy animal sanctuary. With Leanne’s help, Angel gets a new set of wheels—a pink cart that helps her learn to walk, run, and play. Children and adults will love this endearing story about overcoming adversity that reminds us that we are all uniquely beautiful, including what makes us different from others. Follow along with Angel as she makes new friends on the farm and finds a loving family to be her forever home.
“The Giving Book: Open the Door to a Lifetime of Giving” by Ellen Sabin – This is an activity book, a journal, and a keepsake that inspires and records a child’s journey into a lifelong tradition of giving and charity.
“My Book About Me” by Dr. Seuss and Roy McKie – So, fun fact, I filled out this same book when I was a kid and I still have it! This classic hardcover activity book written by Dr. Seuss and illustrated by Roy McKie encourages children to write and draw their own biographies. It’s a mix of serious (and seriously silly!) “Yes” and “No” questions; fill-in-the-blanks; images to complete, and simple writing activities.
“Reagandoodle & Little Buddy” by Sandi Swiridoff with Wendy Dunham – Told with warmth and a touch of humor by Reagan himself, readers will hear the true story of how one adopted dog and an 11-month-old foster child develop an unforgettable friendship. This is an uplifting tale of friendship, foster care, adoption, and hope.
“Riley the Brave” by Jessica Sinarski – This is a children’s story of a little bear with big feelings. You and your children can join this super-cool cape wearing cub as he embarks on a journey to face his fears and is joined by all of his animal friends who care for him. Throughout Riley’s adventures in this educational book, parents and children can learn how to understand and overcome feelings such as shame, fear, and sadness.

Here are some of the parent resources we received:

“Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens” by Debbie Riley with John Meeks – This book from The Center for Adoption Support & Education helps parent discover the six most common adoption stuck-spots, the complexities of adoption, the adopted teen’s quest for identity, and how therapy may help the adoptive families learn and grow together. Therapists and clinicians will discover a broad knowledge base on adoption, a step-by-step assessment process, clinical intervention strategies, a wealth of case histories, treatment resources and therapy tools, and writing and art therapy samples.
“52 Ways to Talk About Adoption” from The Center for Adoption Support & Education – This card game encourages family discussions about adoption.
“W.I.S.E. Up Powerbook” – Empower your child with the resource. Praised by parents around the world, this simple, effective book helps adopted children learn that their story is unique, personal and theirs to share (or not). The W.I.S.E. Up! Owl delivers easy-to-follow choices to help adopted children decide when and how to share information and respond to others’ questions/comments. This is also from The Center for Adoption Support & Education.

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Learn more about Jockey Being Family, including its backpack program, at its website. You can also follow its inspiring stories on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. And stay tuned here because I will have more to share after we road trip to be with our Jockey Being Family friends at Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, in May.