Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

How to plan a cozy family night

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In any given year, January can be a tough time with dark nights and dreary weather. Throw in a global pandemic that has restricted many of our normal activities, and, well, you have the perfect recipe for a gloomy month. Instead, let’s embrace what my husband calls “an attitude of gratitude.”

My kids know I don’t like them to complain about being bored. Rather I want them to enjoy our space, their toys, and each other. Likewise, I want to see our extra time at home this winter while we’re staying warm and avoiding the coronavirus as time to unwind, take care of ourselves, and reconnect with one another without some of the usual daily pressures.

This winter isn’t a normal winter, but that’s how seasons work. There are rhythms even when circumstances change. I remind myself of this often during these short days that have me longing for summer.

“God has made each season beautiful and appropriate in its own time. Yes, spring, summer, fall, and winter repeat, but each winter looks different than the one before because God is transforming me. I’m not the same this year as I was as a child or even just last year. There can be similarities and traditions from one year to the next, but the details change from one season to the next, from one year to the next. That’s both wonderful and terrifying. …

Nothing in this life stays the same. That almost seems like a threat, but really it’s a promise too. Traditions anchor us, but our God won’t leave us where we were in the winter by the time springs starts blooming new life.”

– From my book “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories of Gathering & Nourishing People”

Let’s look at a few ways to plan the ultimate cozy night in – with your family, whoever else lives under your roof, who you’re quarantining with, or a larger social circle once the pandemic passes.

Curl up with a good book

Okay, so, I miss having a fire place, but y’all know I always want a good book!

Apparently when speaking of happiness, relaxation, and self-care, some people use the Danish word ‘hygge’ as it encapsulates those feelings and activities. I associate comfort with being snuggled up the couch we love, wrapped in a soft blanket, a kid cuddled in close, and a book that I can’t put down.

I tend to prefer actual books, but Kindles and other devices sure are handy. Take a look at Troypoint for some of the best sites to download books or stream your favorite shows, movies, or music. Of course, if you’re looking for some recommended reads, I’ve got y’all covered there too.

Order a takeout

My mother-in-law has been recovering from a quadruple bypass heart surgery at our house for the past couple of weeks. That’s added some extra logistic details to our life, but it’s also prompted our great community of friends to feed us! I’ve barely cooked this month, which has been nice. I enjoy cooking, but a break has been welcomed for my shrinking mental capacity. Plus we just learned Murray Eats delivers food from restaurants to our porch. We live seven miles from town, so we didn’t think we could have pizza – much less Cracker Barrel – delivered to us.

Yes, COVID-19 has interrupted eating out plans, but so many of our local restaurants have upped their carry-out game. So take a break, and order dinner in. Perhaps even enjoy it on some paper plates!

When our friends are feeding us, I will get back to recruiting my oldest daughter to help me in the kitchen. I do cherish that time together making memories and meals.

Have a sleepover

We don’t really do sleepovers outside our house for various reasons that have nothing to do with a cozy night in. With Peggy recovering from her open heart surgery here, we’ve had to play musical bedrooms. Cate moved to Rachel’s room and Rachel has a spare twin mattress in our back living room. Seeing Rachel set up with her stuffed animals, favorite blankets, and unicorn sleep mask reminds me of how cozy and fun it can be for kids to vary their sleeping situations.

Dig out some fairy lights, sweet and salty snacks, and tell your kids all about your own sleepover experiences – or at least the parts you want them to know about!

Play board games

Y’all know we love games around here! We’ve been playing a lot of Monopoly Junior and Othello recently, but ask me next week and we’re likely to have other boxes sitting on our dining room table. Of course, I have a list of all our family favorites, if you’re looking for some at-home entertainment and competition.

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This is the fourth in a series about why hospitality matters in every season. (October. November. December.) And, yes, hospitality happens right in your home with your people. Learn more about this and get some free resources on the “Bringing Home More than Groceries” page.

Love Your Home Once Again

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Life certainly doesn’t look like it did a year ago, thanks to the global coronavirus pandemic that interrupted our lives. So many people have spent more time at their homes – working from home, schooling kids at home, distancing themselves from crowds. Of course, this has come with much adjustment in routines, logistics, and even our spaces. Improving our home has been a good day to navigate our increased time here.

While spending more time at home, we have been made adjustments to our space and noticed possible improvements. Yes, you can use even this weird season of social distancing to fall in love with your home all over again. Here are some ways to do that:

Renovated Your Spaces

Conducting home renovations is important to make your space feel like home. Many people have the time to do this, so this is one way to focus on moving forward in your home, even when so much of the world is uncertain.

We haven’t done any major renovations, but my teenager did paint her little sister’s room. She may not have agreed to it had she known bright pink doesn’t easily cover mint green! We’ve rearranged closets and bedrooms as we make our spaces function better for all the extra time we’ve spent here.

Take Pride in Where You Live

Taking pride in where you live is vital, especially when you’re truly living in your home like we have been. I discovered how easy it is the clean my hard floors with the Shark VacMop, ordered more forks and spoons because we were eating so many meals at home, and ordered cleaning and household supplies online.

Honestly, I like a clean house, but I also know we live here, so taking pride for me involves some daily tasks to contain the clutter and crumbs. Of course, there are bigger projects, such as using window cleaning services, in order to really spruce up your views.

Speaking of views, I truly have appreciated country living as we’ve socially distanced ourselves from crowds of people. The wide-open spaces have been good for my soul, especially in the spring, summer, and fall. I’ve loved noticing how natural colors change. And we’ve all needed the extra space to safely roam.

Plant a Garden

We actually planted our first garden! It was small and barely successful, but I was so glad the spring and summer days at home helped me accomplish something I’d wanted to try. We planted zucchini, tomato, and pepper seeds in planters. Then once the plants grew, we transferred the zucchini and tomato plants to the ground. They grew well and produced, but then the deer ate all the tomato plants – produce and all! We got several zucchini and sweet pepper to enjoy. And we came away with some better plans for this year.

Making summertime fun is always important, especially during the pandemic when traveling may not happen as much. Gardening is one way to do this. Plus it improves and helps you appreciate where you live and the natural seasons.

How have you found yourself loving your home and property during these social-distancing days?

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I’ve written some other posts about social distancing that may encourage you.

Creating Family Unity

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Our homes are supposed to be a place of refuge and comfort from outside forces, but sometimes it can seem like that takes a lot of effort. Helping to create a sense of unity and safety can help the atmosphere of your home be peaceful and loving instead of contentious – even with all the personalities in play at the same moment. Here are some ways you help make your house a home where all family members feel valued and important.

Commitment

It is important family members feel secure in their pace in the family and committed to helping others as well. Many times people will adopt an “everyone for themselves” mentality and that can chip away at the foundation of a family. Family members should be committed and loyal to other members of the family in helping them become their best selves and supporting them in their lives. For us, that has meant conversations about understanding one another’s love languages and personalities.

We strive to be committed to supporting each member’s emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. If we make this a top priority and goal for ourselves, other people will start to take the cues and adopt the behavior as well. Truthfully, while this prolonged season of social distancing has certain come with adjustments, it’s almost helped deepen our commitments to our family.

Compassion

We also need to act with compassion in our homes. Greg and I believe if compassion starts in our home, it will overflow into our other social circles and even among strangers in our ordinary lives. I’ve certainly been guilty of being the worst version of myself toward the people closest to me, but that ultimately threatens to harm the most important relationships in our lives. Unkind words, angry outbursts, pettiness, and jealousy can all sow deep seeds of distrust and unhappiness in our homes. As a mom, I’ve had to grow in this area along with my kids. I’m thankful for the grace that abounds when we mess up and as well learn together.

Greg and I want to teach our kids to genuinely caring about the struggles, difficulties, and fears each of us face. Allowing space for their sadness, even when we may not understand it, and celebrating victories with them is equally important to create a compassionate environment.

Communication

We need to be able to communicate effectively with our family members to build a sense of unity and deepen our relationships. As parents, we take on the responsibility for this. One way Greg and I have improved our communication is by having a shared Google Calendar. Knowing what’s happening logistically in our day-to-day lives at work and home helps foster even more conversations to keep us on the same page. We need to be informed about the communication they have with others. You can go to this blog article to read more about doing that.

We also need to focus on the communication that is happening in our homes with each other. With different personalities and preferences, we each have our own communication styles too. Good communication requires active listening. Listening to understand instead of to respond, asking for clarification, and offering support are all important to help someone be heard. We need to put down defensiveness and really try to understand someone if there is a disagreement instead of focusing on being understood.

Compromise

There will always be disagreements in any relationship, and family relationships are no exception. Healthy and unified families are always striving toward the best possible outcome for the family unit, and sometimes that will mean that individuals don’t get everything they were hoping to get. And usually that means making adjustments as seasons change, kids grow, and life happens.

Negotiation is healthy and should be encouraged. Considering the hopes and schedules of other family members will help them to feel loved and understood. When we compromise on some issues and take turns, we get what we want sometimes too and the family grows together. There needs to be a balance between striving to get what we want and supporting the other members of the family in their pursuits and desires.

Traditions

A great way to support family unity is through the use of family time and traditions. Embracing yearly traditions or weekly family time will allow family members to get to know each other and to build a relationship that will benefit everyone involved.

We have different traditions for birthdays, holidays, and ordinary days. None of them are elaborate, but they all anchor us to our place in this family and in our larger community of friends. Again, the Google Calendar helps Greg and I communicate about plans we want to make sure happen and don’t get lost in the busyness of life with kids and responsibilities.

Game Nights are some of our family times, and we often rotate who chooses which game we play next. This helps everyone feel included and get a chance to pick their favorite game. While we play games, we learn about each other, compete in good fun, and make memories.

(Here are many of our favorite games, if you need some recommendations.)

Christ

We can do all kinds of things to create a sense of unity and peace in our homes, but ultimately Christ is the center anchor of all this. When all members of the family are focused on drawing closer to Christ and living out our beliefs rooted in faith, we will automatically draw closer to each other as well.

We haven’t been to church since March, but we’ve been having home church in our living room. While it’s been different and involved adjustments on everyone’s part, the time we set aside on Sunday mornings has helped us learn more about Christ and each other. We’ve gotten to share in something Greg and I value in a new way together and God’s been faithful to meet us when we gather on the couches together, often in our pajamas.