• Becoming is living

    ByKristin holiday, words
    2 Comments

    I’ve had a lot of feelings this year, and many of them have been hard to handle internally. I also have experienced deeper awareness of myself, husband, kids, dearest friends, and even a larger circle of friends — who we are individually and how we best fit together. In August, I started going to counseling again, probably several months later than I should have.

    The year started with a conflict, involved many decisions about how to spend my time, and was marked by grief when my dad died and then when I had to shift some commitments and thinking in my life. I felt most myself in November, and I’m thankful for that after so many months of thinking and deciding and wrestling — most of those actions taking place in my own head. I’m grateful my very loud inner critic has quieted some and I’m more secure in who God made me to be.

    When I chose faithful as my focus this year, I had some ideas of what that meant, but, of course, God went and created a whole new thing with it. He shifted and shaped me. He provided for me in ways I didn’t necessarily know I needed. He was faithful, even when I struggled to grieve during my favorite summer season and felt Him making me new when nature was dying for the winter.

    Two years ago, I focused on how Jesus is my rescue. Then I learned more about living that out faithfully. Now it’s time to focus more on becoming more like Christ, which right now for me looks like …

    … becoming more of who God made me to be.
    … becoming more patient and kind.
    … becoming more free from the irrational feelings and expectations that can hinder me.
    … becoming more restful and peaceful.

    I keep saying becoming more, but with that I really mean less. This world yells do more, build a bigger audience, and be you to everyone. I want to quiet the demands, serve faithfully where God has me, and be me knowing my capacity is smaller than I sometimes wish it was. So, yes, more God, but less of most everything else.

    Becoming is about transformation. It’s an ongoing series of actions and decisions that come from a foundation established long ago. Becoming is living.

    *****

    Of course, I’ve put together a soundtrack for this season {BECOMING 2020}. And let’s revisit soundtracks from other years: RESCUE 2018. FAITHFUL 2019.

    Here are some additional resources that have encouraged me to get where I am on this journey to becoming:

  • 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids

    ByKristin books, FlyBy Promotions, motherhood, review, words
    1 Comment

    Surely I’m not the only mom who wished my kids came with a manual. In the trenches of parenting, my husband and I sometimes realize we aren’t entirely sure how we should handle a situation. Sure, there are times we’re on the same page and have prepared how we will respond, but there are plenty of times we’re winging it.

    Dr. Todd Cartmell’s new “8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids” is an instruction manual for parents.

    Using examples from his home and 20 years of professional practice, child psychologist and father Todd Cartmell gives eight essential and practical tools to help you maintain a healthy relationship with your child, develop a nurturing home culture, and correct behavior in lasting ways. Designed for busy parents, “8 Simple Tools” breaks each tool – talking, listening, influencing, connecting, teaching, encouraging, correcting, and leading – into five short chapters that include summary tips and application questions.

    The organization of the wise information is part of what makes this book the ideal instruction manual. More importantly, the advice is based on real-life scenarios and biblical truth.

    My favorite – well, as in most needed – section was the one on talking. It’s the first tool, but it’s the one I struggle with the most. I tend to revert to bossy, nagging words and tone when I want to control my kids and their behavior. Obviously, that’s the not the best strategy, and Dr. Todd offers wisdom I needed to hear.

    I don’t pause often enough either. I’m not a new mom and I’m certainly not a new communicator, but I needed these reminders: What do I really want to say? What is the best way to say it? If I want my kids to talk respectfully when they are mad, then I must do the same. I want my child to copy my communication style, not me copy theirs.

    (Ouch.)

    And then there was this: “You don’t control your kids’ responses, but you do control your words, volume, level, and tone.”

    (Again, ouch.)

    “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

    –Proverbs 12:18

    Words do matter. The teach and heal and love. Words open the door for teachable moments and opportunities to develop deeper relationships. I want to do that well and I’m glad for this instruction manual that was missing in our family.

    “Bottom line: If you are a parents who talks and listens to your kids, influences them with the power of your words, connects with them, teaches and encourages them, corrects them, and leads them through your example, then I believe you will change the trajectory of their lives.”

    (And that quote is in the introduction!)

    ABOUT THE BOOK :: 209-page paperback published by Moody Publishers (Dec. 15, 2015). Find more information about the book, including sharable images and assessments online at the book’s website.

    And I have a special deal for you! Get the book for 50% off with the code GREATKIDS16, which is good through May 15 when you order the book through Moody Publishers. “8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids” also is available at Amazon.

    For a limited time when you purchase the book anywhere, receive access to download the Hearts at Home “Essential Workshop Collection for Parents” for free! Learn more about that promotion at the book’s website.

    ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Todd Cartmell earned his doctorate in clinical psychology from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, and then completed his postdoctoral fellowship with Wright State University at the Children’s Hospital. Since then, he’s worked at Summit Clinical Services in Wheaton, Illinois, where he continues to see children, teens, and families on a full-time basis.

    He’s written five faith-based parenting books and has presented many parenting workshops at mom’s conferences, churches, and schools. And he’s actually guest posted on my blog before.

    _____________________

    I received a free copy of this book from FlyBy Promotions / Propeller Consulting in exchange for an honest review. 

    Subscribe to get new posts and/or a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog in your inbox. When you subscribe, I’ll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable. 

  • Love one another {a giveaway}

    ByKristin ebook, faith, friends, giveaway, holiday, music, Soli Deo Gloria, words
    21 Comments

    “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

    It’s the week of love. I know people have all sorts of feelings about Valentine’s Day. But I’ve decided this year to just embrace it. I mean, what’s so bad about encouraging others to love on their people? I may have even ordered my kids a little gift. Shhh. Don’t tell them.

     I personally love Valentine’s Day because it’s the anniversary of my first date with my husband … before he was my husband … 17 years ago. My, how time flies. We’ve since dubbed Feb. 14 “First-Date Day” and would celebrate even if the rest of the world wasn’t.

     You people are my friends. We may not get to lunch together or show up with dinner when it’s been a hard day. But we can love on each other anyway. That’s the beauty of technology.

    So I raided my gift closet and pulled out some of my favorite things to give you!

    • John 14:27 Print from HopeInk.com & a PDF copy of “Peace in the Process“ :: It’s one of my favorite scriptures and there are butterflies on the 8×10 print. Butterflies remind me of when I decided to follow Jesus at a weekend that was built on the metaphor of transforming from caterpillars into butterflies. 
    • “Let Heaven and Nature Sing” & Loved plaque :: “Joy to the World” is one of my favorite songs and the one that spoke so deeply into my life about #choosingJOY this year. The plaque quotes Holley Gerth, a favorite author of mine who encourages and loves so well. Both come from DaySpring.com, which is a great place to shop. 
    • “Sing the Bible” by Slugs & Bugs :: This may be “kids’ music,” but I love it. 
    • Package of 12 Sharpies & PDF copy of “Peace in the Process” :: Um, who doesn’t love Sharpies?
    • Romans 8:28 plaque :: This is one of my two all-time favorite verses. 
    Use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter to win. The giveaway will be open through the weekend and then I’ll announce the winners, which will be chosen randomly, on Monday. Speaking of giveaways, did you see my daughter’s first-ever book review? And we’re giving away the book she loved. 

    ________________

    I’m linking this post with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering, one of my favorite places on the internet. 

    Want more insights? “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin’, or subscribe to receive “Insights in Your Inbox.”