Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Ways to connect with your partner

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Greg and I have known each other for 23 years and have been married for more than 18 of those years. We’ve recently talked about how so much around us is changing, but we are thankful for the steadfastness of our relationship. Truly, I don’t know how I’d navigate life without him. Plus I like him. 

Are you looking for ways to keep the spark, excitement, and romance alive in your relationship? If so, then here are some of the steps that you should definitely consider exploring to keep your marriage a priority.

Date Each Other

I’m going to be honest on this oft-given advice. Greg and I aren’t good at actual dates. We are good at stealing some together once kids are in bed or while driving in the minivan when the kids are occupied. Yes, we like to go on dates, and we’d like to go one soon. We’re overdue because the one he planned to Red Lobster near Valentine’s Day was canceled when we all were quarantined. 

We know kids complicate adult-only outings, even just for a few hours, but our experiences of trips every now and then or at least dinner with them are worth it. We can talk and regroup and plan and, yes, talk about the kids. 

Give Gifts

While quality time is my love language, gift giving is right up there. Of course, the types of gifts have changed through the years. One of my favorite recurring gifts is near our anniversary, Greg takes my minivan to get detailed. He deals with getting it there and back home again. The fresh smell and lack of crumbs speak volumes to me about his desire to help make my life a tad easier and much neater. 

When I think way back to when he proposed, I love remembering being surprised by his question, his presence at that exact moment, and the ring he presented. We aren’t really jewelry people at this point, but London Gold can help you choose the right sparkle if you are. Now I get gifts like a countertop ice maker and a vac mop. Again, a cleaner, easier life is valuable in this season. 

Share Passions

We all have passions and hobbies that we are interested in. it’s important to take the time to make sure that you are appreciating your partner’s passions and showing them that this is the case. We love watching college basketball (especially live!) together, so you’re likely to find us in the stands rooting for our favorite teams. Of course, now that our favorite teams are done playing this season, we’ll still settle in on the couch and watch other March Madness games. 

We also like watching shows together in the quiet house once our three kids have gone to bed. When the weather cooperates, we like exploring creeks and woods on our property. This past spring, I even went turkey hunting with him for the first time. I don’t care about the hunting part, but I loved having a good fiction book to enjoy nature with my husband. 

We love to travel with our family and explore new places and revisit familiar ones. (Our last adult-only trip was to Colorado, and I definitely want to go back!) Thankfully, we agree that museums aren’t our thing! 

Embrace Spontaneity

Of course, you need to make sure that you are injecting a healthy level of spontaneity into your relationship. The surprise gifts, trips, and dinners are valuable for connection plus they’re fun! Remember, gifts and surprises don’t have to be extravagant, but it’s truly the thought that counts. Everyone wants to be remembered, so grab a favorite candy bar, jot a note, or send a lovey text. 

I could tell you about a million things we’ve gotten wrong in building our relationship and marriage, but these are a few of the things we’ve gotten right. Thankfully, there’s been more right than wrong, and here we are together ready for whatever adventure comes our way next. 

14 years together

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Oh, we had no idea the adventures to come … 

Greg bought me a new dishwasher for our anniversary.

That statement alone sounds like we have a rather boring life. But, really, I’m craving some normal after an adventurous summer. And what screams everyday normal more than a dishwasher?

My husband’s let’s-live-in-the-country dream came true when we moved in June. And I’m loving that his dream because part of our family’s story. Since moving, we’ve been on three trips – four nights in Buffalo, three nights in St. Louis, and now we are in the midst of a week with my family at Hilton Head.

Our summer has been full of packing and unpacking, getting settled enough before the next adventure, while tending to our everyday responsibilities. And our summer pretty much epitomizes our marriage.

It’s been 14 years since we said “I do” and then started sweating as soon as we walked outside. (August, people.) It’s been 14 years since we started journeying through the everyday moments between big adventures … together.

We’ve fought and negotiated. We’ve learned to communicate better and have a rhythm that works for us. Like so many other parts of life, the best comes on the heels of the hard. I’ve liked {our} marriage more and more the longer we’ve been together.

We repeat the same jokes and usually laugh at them. We like to adventure away from home and in our back yard. Parenting has strengthened our marriage, even in the messes and noise. And we like to be together.

This is our recipe for life: Take some adventure and then mix in some normal moments. {Tweet that.} And, you know, sometimes he even unloads the dishwasher for me.

Happy anniversary, husband. Here’s to many other adventures, but let’s have some nights at home too.

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Want to read other anniversary posts? Five years. Six years. Seven years. Nine years. Ten years. Eleven years. Twelve years. Thirteen years.
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13 Songs for 13 Years

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Like a baker’s dozen, Greg and I have been married 13 years. Something about THIRTEEN seems big and monumental. Of course, we’re the same couple that went on a big anniversary trip to Mexico for our 11th anniversary. Apparently we don’t mark milestones like everyone else.

But we’re in this life – the ordinary moments and the milestones – together.

And that’s what matters.

Marriage was hard in the beginning. I brought so much emotional baggage. I was naïve and controlling – except I couldn’t control Greg or our relationship, even though I tried. I resisted change and dug in my heels. I blamed him for things – so many things – that weren’t his fault. I fought internally with trying to forgive people and let go of things that happened long before I became Mrs. Taylor yet continued to seep into my marriage.

And then we tried to conceive a baby and couldn’t – and not because we didn’t try. In trying, my emotions splattered all over the place. Our marriage was tense again.

But then we let go of trying. In that moment, the peace that passes our understanding came. We ended up holding our daughter less than nine months later, thanks to adoption. And we ended up adopting again 30 months later. Now we’re in the midst of another adoption process.

Our family has grown in ways only God could orchestrate. And in that journey, my faith grew and my marriage found itself settling on a firmer foundation than before. I knew Jesus when I said “I do” on Aug. 3, 2002, but I still hadn’t let the savior of the world into some of the deepest places in my soul.

My faith is a work in progress, but God promises to finish this thing he’s started in me. Really, I feel the same about my marriage. What began as two stubborn, first-born people trying to merge their lives has become a testimony of the God who unifies.

Greg and I like adventures together – and I like to be in charge of the radio and playlists as we go. We laugh often and fight less these days. We’ve bungy jumped while tethered together. We’ve sat together in roller coasters, airplanes, minivans, and an Amtrak car. We’ve traveled around the country and even across the ocean. We’ve seen the blue seas and ancient ruins in Greece, experienced New Zealand, and served together in Guatemala. We have plans and dreams and plenty of inside jokes.

This is our life – the one that looks nothing like I expected but has surprised me in the best ways. That’s adventure for you. And marriage is certainly an adventure. I’m grateful for where we are, how we got here, and where we’re going – together.

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To celebrate, here are 13 songs that take me back through our years together.

1. “The Sign” by Ace of Base :: This one is all Greg. Perhaps one of the most surprising things I learned about him early on was his love of this song.

2. “Crash and Burn” by Savage Garden :: “When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you, give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart. Let me be the one you call. If you jump I’ll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn, you’re not alone.”

3. “A Page is Turned” by Bebo Norman :: Our friends played this song in our wedding. I still love it. “Where the God of second chance will pick them up and he’ll let them dance through a world that is not kind. And all this time, they’re sharing with the one that holds them up when they come undone, beneath the storm, beneath the sun. And once again, here you stand.”

4. “When You Say Nothing At All” by Alison Krauss :: We danced to this at our wedding. And I use the word “dance” lightly. I don’t really do much of that. Okay, none at all, really.

5. “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson :: This was in our road trip playlist for a while because Greg really likes it. Okay, so I do too. But it’s funnier he does.

6. “I Don’t Wanna Wait” by Paula Cole :: Um, “Dawson’s Creek.” Enough said. Oh, and for the record, I liked that Joey chose Pacey but Greg is still wishing she ended up with Dawson.

7. “Dancing in the Minefields” by Andrew Peterson :: “We went dancing in the minefields. We went sailing in the storm. And it was harder than we dreamed, but I believe that’s what the promise is for. ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words. The beginning of the end. But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin. ‘Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down. And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found.”

8. “Some Nights” by Fun. :: This song reminds us of the Cardinals winning the World Series in 2011. Watching sports is certainly something we like to do together.

9. “Stuck Like Glue” by Sugarland :: Greg doesn’t like when white women rap. Again, this is straight from the road trip playlist at some point.

10. “Multiplied” by NEEDTOBREATHE :: I liked NEEDTOBREATHE for a year before Greg decided to jump on board. But then we went to a concert together in Nashville in September 2014 and it was amazing. We particularly loved this song, although I could have picked from several. And then NEEDTOBREATHE released a new album THAT WAS A RECORDING OF THE CONCERT. Such a sweet gift to us. Then we saw the band again this summer in St. Louis.

 11. “Sometimes By Step” by Rich Mullins :: This was the theme song of the weekend in 1996 when I accepted Christ in my life. And now Greg sometimes sings it to our kids at bedtime. Sweet memories.

12. “When I Get Where I’m Going” by Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton :: Greg’s dad passed away unexpectedly in April 2010 and this was on the songs at his funeral. That season was hard in many ways, but grieving also taught me about community. So many people came alongside us.

13. “Only Hope I’ve Got” by Ellie Holcomb :: Again, like with NEEDTOBREATHE, Greg became a fan well after I told him he’d like her. “I don’t want to tell some arrogant story or let myself believe I’m you. I don’t want to be a thief who’s stealing Your glory. Will You help remind me of what is true? The only hope I’ve got, it’s You …”

You can listen to the playlist on Spotify …


Do you mark your life with songs? I’d love to hear about some meaningful ones.
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Want to read other anniversary posts? Five years. Six years. Seven years. Nine years. Ten years. Eleven years. Twelve years.

I’m linking up at the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

 Want more insights? “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin’, or subscribe to receive “Insights in Your Inbox.”