When “Oceans” was a popular worship song, I was annoyed by it. But one day when my kids were 8 years old, almost 6, and just a newborn, I heard the lyrics in a fresh way.
Maybe I didn’t like the song at first because trusting without borders is scary.
For several weeks after the day I decided I didn’t need to switch stations whenever “Oceans” came on the radio, I couldn’t get the phrase “trust without borders” out of my head. At the time, I was navigating a relationship with my youngest daughter’s birth mom. We adopted two times before, but the relationships are all different and change as the children grow.
Adoption built my family but it also built my faith, largely in part because there’s a lot of trusting and very few borders. I was able to take the lessons I learned from our adoption experiences and remember God’s faithfulness in other circumstances.
I was able to pray big prayers of faith because I’d seen God show up and show out so many times before.
“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.” – Psalm 107:28-30 NIV
To trust God without borders means I need to surrender control, once again. It means I need to realize life doesn’t fit in a tidy box. Sure, sometimes storms far out of our control rage and overwhelm our lives, but God will lead us to a calm haven. Recently, God has reminded me of this truth over and over again.
Please welcome my sweet friend Amanda to the porch, where she’s giving you a peek inside her new book and encouraging you to see the joy in whatever season you find yourself. Amanda and I met online through mutual friends and fellow writers, but now we’re real-life friends who live on opposites sides of the country and don’t get to see enough of each other. She spurs me on toward appreciating wildflowers, remembering what God has done, and leaning into the truth.
*****
Hi, new friends! I just released a new book called The Wilds of Homeschooling: A First-Year Guide to Teaching Your Kids (and Maybe Even Liking It). I picked an excerpt to share with you all that I think will encourage you whether you are homeschooling or not. Homeschooling has been the refining fire the Lord has used to shape me, but I think if you take out the word homeschooling and replace it with mothering you might find the Bible truth here still applies.
I will say this of homeschooling, and it’s true of motherhood too: It’s sanctifying.
Cindy Rollins says this best: “A wise person once said not to take too much credit or too much blame for your children. That is comforting. This is often hard for the homeschooling mom, because she has laid down her life. Her reputation and even her abilities are on the line. It is an incredible burden to carry … Part of the sanctification of motherhood is learning to trust God with our children.” (Mere Motherhood, 161)
It doesn’t matter if you are picking up homeschooling for one year or for all the school years, it can feel like it is all resting on you. Whether or not they read, whether or not they love reading, whether or not they can recite their times tables and the Declaration of Independence. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I think part of this is love. I think another part of it is pride.
I remember the stress of my later-reading son. One of my reasons for homeschooling is to allow my children to read when they are ready, but goodness how anxious I was when first grade came and went, and he remembered one whole sight word and was still sounding out “hat” one phoneme at a time. For him, reading happened in the middle of second grade like a rickety roller-coaster creaking its way to the top, until all at once everything locked into place, and he was off. He read his readers. He read chapter books. I’d check on him at night to find he’d fallen asleep on the page of a book. I rejoiced. It felt like the single greatest accomplishment of my life. But even then, I knew. It wasn’t simply my accomplishment; it was his milestone. And it was a partnership: God and me—and a boy who was ready.
If I could only tell you one thing about homeschooling, it would be this: do it with the Lord. Understand that it is a journey, one of sanctification, for you and your children. But one you are not left alone on. God is with you.
Here’s the bad news: In case you were wondering, you are not patient enough to homeschool.
But here’s the good news: Patience isn’t required. It’s acquired. You will grow in it, friend.
Homeschooling at its core isn’t just a commitment to teach your children; it’s a commitment to keep learning yourself.
Homeschooling once felt like a tremendous sacrifice on my part. Hours of my day were dedicated to teaching. I never felt like I was doing enough or doing it right. And all I had was a messy house to show for my hard work. I forgot all the gifts homeschooling could bring in my efforts to try to get it right and complete our assignments. No matter how long you do this for, don’t leave out the joy of homeschooling.
*****
I’d love to know: How has homeschooling (or motherhood) been sanctifying for you?
The Wilds of Homeschooling is available in print or for Kindle on Amazon. Think of it as a pep-talk and the CliffsNotes to homeschooling. If you are feeling thrown in and overwhelmed, I would be so honored to encourage you and help you get started.
Amanda Conquers is a cop’s wife and homeschooling mom to four. When she’s not pulling her toddler off the bookshelf, she loves hiking, wildflower identification, and iced decaf lattes. She lives clinging to Christ and loves sharing the good news that no matter how weak you feel, you only have to be strong enough to lean on the One who already overcame. You can find her writing on Instagram and her blog.
Today’s the fourth in a series about being better together in honor of Foster Care Awareness Month. I’ve glad to have Addison Futrell here today. We’ve crossed paths in our small town through mutual friends and I love how she considers foster care a community endeavor.
If you missed the earlier posts, I encourage you to read about how Hailey’s village has helped her as her family grew through foster care, how Bethany’s older kids specifically embraced her family’s journey into fostering, and how we can all serve foster families.
*****
I began to see the needs in the foster care system through my involvement with our church’s youth group. I was teaching high school and middle school girls in Sunday school and regularly had three to five foster kids in the class. The Lord began to open my eyes to specific biases I held about foster care prior to even knowing any foster kiddos personally! I realized “Hey, these kids really are just regular kids.”
Slowly God started to put the burden on my heart to walk down the road of discovering more and more about foster care. Surprisingly, everyone I asked who was immersed in the foster care world was very supportive and encouraged me about the next steps for my husband, Bailey, and me.
At first, Bailey was very hesitant about the idea of becoming foster parents. With some persistence on my part and God softening Bailey’s heart to the idea, he agreed to go to the first informal information meeting that is no strings attached. For anyone remotely interested in foster care, I would highly recommend going to a meeting like this. It opened our eyes to the great needs of the children in care and what is actually expected of foster parents. It was very convicting but also encouraged us as current non-parents. We were assured we would have the tools and community given to us to help us succeed as loving caretakers for these children that need love so desperately.
Coming into foster care without biological children was a whirlwind. We had to jump headfirst into every resource because we did not own any children’s toys, clothes, or beds. We were given excellent training through the state on parenting, trauma, sexual abuse, and so many other topics. Also, we had the most supportive family and friends helping us combat every fear, insecurity, and uncertainty we faced along the way. Our social worker gave us a packet filled with foster closet resources to help us get any items imaginable for any placement we would eventually get. We were given a set of bunk beds by a friend of a friend in our church. The community to launch us off was insane. We felt so prepared and terrified at the same time.
The community didn’t just launch us off into the world of foster care, this group of people also stuck around for the messy parts too. They were the first ones there with meals, toys, and lunch boxes when our family grew with an hour’s notice. This community was also there when we were given an hour’s notice the kids we loved so much were unexpectedly going home. Our family helped us through the emotional part of packing the kid’s stuff. Our friends gathered and said emotional goodbyes and we were once again floored by the community and how these people were just as much a part of this journey as we were, if not more.
Community is a must in the foster care world. Our community also includes resources such as The Moses Basket, Partners in Care Foster Closet, neighbors, our church small groups, and the list goes on and on. This community is my favorite part of foster care. As cliché as the statement may be, it truly takes a village to support, love, and bridge the gap for these kids.
*****
Addison and her husband, Bailey, have been fostering a little more than a year. Some days she’s got a carload of kids blaring Kids Bop and some days her family grows only for the weekend.
