Guatemala

The sounds of Becoming

January 20, 2020 by Kristin 6 Comments

“I am miles from where I was
It’s so far from where I want to be
With each step I learn to trust
The maker is still making me …”
– Jason Gray in “Becoming”

In September, I sat with on my counselor’s couch and told her about this idea of transformation being a process of order to disorder to reorder. I stole the concept from singer/songwriter Jason Gray who was inspired by Franciscan friar and author Richard Rohr’s idea and wrote some songs about it. On the heels of a hard year, these songs helped me make sense out of conflict, disappointment, loss, and grief. They helped me see how God was working even when my heart and head hurt.

These songs are part of a three-part project that’s being released in segments. The first set of songs – “Order” – has been out since September and I’ve been listening to it frequently. There is also a five-day devotional that goes along with the songs and spoke truth into my wounded soul. I can’t carry a tune and I haven’t played my clarinet since 1993, but other people’s songs have always marked my seasons and helped me along.

So, of course, I looked to see if Jason Gray was on tour. He didn’t have any dates near me, but not long after he posted on Instagram about wanting to schedule some small shows with him and his guitar. My mind started intertwining lots of ideas I had to make a concert part of a bigger fundraiser for our mission team that’s headed to Guatemala in April and needed to raise thousands of dollars to build two houses, visit about 20 families and help meet some of the physical needs, and distribute 50 wheelchairs. Jason Gray and I exchanged some emails and got a date on the calendar.

The date was last night, and this morning my heart is full.

My natural Enneagram One way is to think about how more seats could have been filled or more money raised, but I know God is asking me to unclench my fists and hold my palms wide open. It’s an ongoing conversation God and I have and one we’ll probably continuing having because Jesus saved me from my sins but he’s still saving me from my anxious ways.

Last night Jason talked about how our weaknesses are what make us safe places for each other. Then he sang about how the wounds are where the light gets in, trusting is a lot like falling, and sometimes the truth is hard to tell ourselves. He sang about how we’re all still becoming and being made new. He sang about how it’s good to be alive, even if we have to be reminded who we are.

Before the concert, we had a chili cook-off with 11 pots of chili from my friends, a silent auction of donations from other friends, and a bake sale my daughter and her best friend headed up. There were lots of ways to support our mission projects and these families in Guatemala we’ll get to serve, but, more importantly, there were many ways to be connected to one another. That’s where God does beautiful work.

Maybe it’s on a counselor’s couch, through the songs of a stranger who seems to understand, or while planning an event so a team of people can serve together, but we are at our best when we make room for each other – even when the brokenness is obvious and the wounds are far from healed.

Jason Gray opened his show with “Becoming” – one of those songs from the “Order” project. That’s my word this year. In 2020, I want to focus on becoming more like Christ, resting in real life knowing living surrendered is far more productive than controlling and clinching. Jason didn’t know that’s where I am, but he knew that’s where he’d been and trusted he wasn’t the only one.

Let’s live with heaven in mind

February 13, 2019 by Kristin 16 Comments

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”

– Revelation 7:9-12 (ESV)

I thought of heaven when I listened to my Kenyan friend pray last week at small group. I remembered the prayers in Spanish when we blessed the home we built for a family near Tecpan, Guatemala in June. I am drawn to worship music that lets me hear accents of people’s homes, whether that’s Ireland or Georgia.

All the tongues, even the ones I can’t understand with my American ears, are praising the same God, the one who sent his son for us. Jesus has gone to prepare a place for us and the tapestry of accents is going to be beautiful when we get there.

“The fact is that you cannot make sense out of life unless you look at it from the vantage point of eternity. If all God’s grace gives us is a little better here and now, if it doesn’t finally fix all that sin had broken, then perhaps we have believed in vain. … There has to be more to God’s plan than this world of sin, sickness, sorrow, and death. There has to be more than the temporary pleasures of this physical world. Yes, there is more, and when you live like there’s more to come, you live in a radically different way.”

– Paul David Tripp in “New Morning Mercies”

As I shuttle kids around and navigate all the conversations required, I don’t think about heaven as much as I should. I think about what it’s like to live here in our self-absorbed culture, how I should best raise my kids to be believers here, and whether I’m doing enough to point them to Jesus. But I don’t parent with heaven in mind.

I want to change that.

I want to point them to Jesus because he’s preparing a place for them too, not just because his example is the right way to live here in our temporary homes.

I want to teach them about living with an eternal perspective because then so few things will matter like we think they do. I want to love and learn alongside them.

I want to believe what Jesus says. I want to live with a gaze toward heaven, where all the tribes and nations will be one. I’m guessing I’ll understand those prayers from the Guatemalans when we get there.

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Extra, extra!

PODCAST: In honor of Valentine’s Day, I got to chat with my friend Mary Carver about TV marriages for her podcast, The Couch. Be sure to tune in to our episode plus the other recent episodes. {LISTEN HERE or HERE.}

LOVE STORY: Plus the story of #TeamTaylor began 21 years ago when Greg and I went on our first date on Valentine’s Day after we’d met a week earlier. {READ HERE.}

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#PorchStories Party

Going as a family where God leads

July 11, 2018 by Kristin 16 Comments

Some people wondered why I was taking an eight-year-old boy to a foreign country. Some people were surprised I was taking my third-grade boy. Some people encouraged me to take Ben.

I’m here to say, I’m glad I took Ben to Guatemala for a week-long mission trip.

Cate, who is now eleven, went with Greg and me in 2015. I always assumed when we went back we’d bring Ben. We debated on going last year but for various reasons I knew and others I still don’t know I knew we needed to wait.

My momma heart thinks God may have been waiting for the right time for Ben. He’s a very different kid than Cate (what siblings aren’t, right?), but I’m grateful he experienced this country we’ve come to love through our service. Honestly, while preparing for this trip, I struggled more with leaving Rachel than I did with taking Ben.

In almost every way, having Ben with us was easier than I expected. He bravely connected with other kids with whom he didn’t share a language. But he shared suckers and gum and toy cars and Legos.

Ben takes medicine twice daily and he was on an antibiotic to heal the infection that had to be drained from an abscess just a couple days before we left. So I brought a bag of medicine for him and included other things I thought we might need.

Turns out we needed the ibuprofen and a teammate’s Tylenol after Ben tripped and fell into a pool without water on our last night in Guatemala. He landed with his knee twisted and we really thought it was messed up. It swelled and he hurt. But then he woke up ready to walk on it.

We consider that a miracle.

We also were relieved he didn’t fall down the mountain where he chased chickens in moments between helping us build a home for a family of seven. We loved seeing him bond with Marvin, who works with Bethel Ministries International, and Joshua, whose birthdate is two days before Ben and who is the son of my missionary friend Hannah. We loved to see his smile help others smile.

Really, living with Ben shows me ordinary miracles regularly. He’s spunky and adventurous. He’s brave and curious. He’s sweet and remembers more than anyone thinks he does.

He finds joy in everyday moments. His strengths are my weaknesses. God uses my boy for my good and the good of many around him.

That’s why I wanted to take him to Guatemala. Plus we believe in serving as a family, so as a family we go wherever God leads us.

*****

This is the third post I’ve shared about our mission trip to Guatemala. You can read about what God showed me about intentional sacrifices as well as seven ways to serve missionaries. I’ve got another post or two brewing, so let me know if there’s a specific aspect of the trip you want to hear about or questions I can answer.

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Hey, #PorchStories friends! You may have noticed, I started publishing this weekly linkup post a couple hours earlier, so now it’s live at 4 a.m. central time. I know some of you are early risers, so I hope that’s helpful!

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