Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

Ways to connect with your partner

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Greg and I have known each other for 23 years and have been married for more than 18 of those years. We’ve recently talked about how so much around us is changing, but we are thankful for the steadfastness of our relationship. Truly, I don’t know how I’d navigate life without him. Plus I like him. 

Are you looking for ways to keep the spark, excitement, and romance alive in your relationship? If so, then here are some of the steps that you should definitely consider exploring to keep your marriage a priority.

Date Each Other

I’m going to be honest on this oft-given advice. Greg and I aren’t good at actual dates. We are good at stealing some together once kids are in bed or while driving in the minivan when the kids are occupied. Yes, we like to go on dates, and we’d like to go one soon. We’re overdue because the one he planned to Red Lobster near Valentine’s Day was canceled when we all were quarantined. 

We know kids complicate adult-only outings, even just for a few hours, but our experiences of trips every now and then or at least dinner with them are worth it. We can talk and regroup and plan and, yes, talk about the kids. 

Give Gifts

While quality time is my love language, gift giving is right up there. Of course, the types of gifts have changed through the years. Sometimes it will be a nice day out, and another time it would be a gift from somewhere similar to bhoma jewelry. One of my favorite recurring gifts is near our anniversary, Greg takes my minivan to get detailed. He deals with getting it there and back home again. The fresh smell and lack of crumbs speak volumes to me about his desire to help make my life a tad easier and much neater. 

When I think way back to when he proposed, I love remembering being surprised by his question, his presence at that exact moment, and the ring he presented. We aren’t really jewelry people at this point, but London Gold can help you choose the right sparkle if you are. Now I get gifts like a countertop ice maker and a vac mop. Again, a cleaner, easier life is valuable in this season. 

Share Passions

We all have passions and hobbies that we are interested in. it’s important to take the time to make sure that you are appreciating your partner’s passions and showing them that this is the case. We love watching college basketball (especially live!) together, so you’re likely to find us in the stands rooting for our favorite teams. Of course, now that our favorite teams are done playing this season, we’ll still settle in on the couch and watch other March Madness games. 

We also like watching shows together in the quiet house once our three kids have gone to bed. When the weather cooperates, we like exploring creeks and woods on our property. This past spring, I even went turkey hunting with him for the first time. I don’t care about the hunting part, but I loved having a good fiction book to enjoy nature with my husband. 

We love to travel with our family and explore new places and revisit familiar ones. (Our last adult-only trip was to Colorado, and I definitely want to go back!) Thankfully, we agree that museums aren’t our thing! 

Embrace Spontaneity

Of course, you need to make sure that you are injecting a healthy level of spontaneity into your relationship. The surprise gifts, trips, and dinners are valuable for connection plus they’re fun! Remember, gifts and surprises don’t have to be extravagant, but it’s truly the thought that counts. Everyone wants to be remembered, so grab a favorite candy bar, jot a note, or send a lovey text. 

I could tell you about a million things we’ve gotten wrong in building our relationship and marriage, but these are a few of the things we’ve gotten right. Thankfully, there’s been more right than wrong, and here we are together ready for whatever adventure comes our way next. 

Seventeen years

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Seventeen years of marriage. That seems oddly significant. Really, every year of marriage is significant because this world doesn’t value faithfulness and ordinary. But I sure do. Especially from my husband who works hard to take care of us and so many other people.

I was naive when we got married, have had to walk through some hard seasons, and am thankful for where I am. I didn’t expect most of this life to look like it does, but God has a way of surprising us with we didn’t know we needed.

Many years ago Greg told me to stop saying I didn’t like Asian food if I actually hadn’t tried it. (Turns out it’s a favorite!) He’s eaten many meals when I was figuring out how to cook and we’ve certainly landed on regular favorites. He’s shown me the beauty of country living and taught me more than I’ve ever cared to know about turkeys and deer.

We’ve been on trips around the country and even the world. We’ve been scared and surprised. We’ve laughed and cried. We’ve grieved and dreamed. He’s always ready to jump into a new adventure! And he quickly got on board with my desire to have a big porch and a pool.

We both grew up in houses where our friends gathered. And now that’s we want to happen here. We want to host gatherings, raise our kids to keep their eyes open, and build community starting with two ordinary people who have been a team for 17 years and pointing to Jesus.

I’m thankful Greg continues to choose me, walk by my side, and teach me about myself. I don’t even want to imagine my life without him.

Happy anniversary, husband.

*****

Read other anniversary posts: Five years. Six years. Seven years. Nine years. Ten years. Eleven years. Twelve years. Thirteen years. Fourteen years. Fifteen years. Sixteen years.

Sixteen years together

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Sixteen years ago I walked down an aisle, said “I do,” and entered this married life that’s been nothing like I expected but better than I could have imagined.

Before you think I’m romanticizing it all, married life hasn’t always been easy, but we’ve walked through hard seasons together.

Together.

That’s the point.

Sometimes I look at the world around me and get frustrated with how family has taken a back seat to prosperity and new age mottos of chasing dreams and being all you can be. But then I look at my husband and am thankful God planted us on the same page with how we want to be a family. Being parents has made us better for and to each other.

I’m also thankful that for the second consecutive year he’s gotten my minivan professionally detailed as my gift. Last weekend we went out on a date – dinner at a favorite restaurant, mini golf, and some arcade games – because we’re spending our actual anniversary in St. Louis with our kids and our best friends. Nothing says happy anniversary like a hotel room and three kids. But, really, there aren’t many other places I’d rather be.

In 16 years, I’ve yelled and cried and wondered what is next. But I’ve also had a steadfast partner who encourages me to pursue God, family, and community. I’ve been far from the perfect wife, but God has used married life to sanctify me day by day and year by year. And it’s been a (mostly) fun journey.

So here we are, 16 years as Mr. and Mrs. Taylor — the greatest adventure, especially with three kids by our side. I say “I do” over and over again as I wash another load of laundry, pick up more groceries, (slowly) get on board with all his entrepreneurial ideas, plan another trip, and (eventually) embrace the unexpected adventures.

*****

Read other anniversary posts: Five years. Six years. Seven years. Nine years. Ten years. Eleven years. Twelve years. Thirteen years. Fourteen years. Fifteen years.

I also joining Five Minute Friday with this post because today’s prompt {ANNIVERSARY} was perfectly timed.