Alone time is important, but it’s not always easy to find. And personality matters. If you’re introvert, that alone time will need to come more often. Extroverts may want to go to dinner with friends.

Regardless, a mom is not just a mom. A mom is a wife, daughter, sister, friend, aunt too. Those roles are important too. Obviously, being a mom demands much time, but to do that well, we need to take care of ourselves too.

Earlier this month, I spent an entire Saturday at a retreat for adoptive moms. I’m was technically helping with the Hope That Binds retreat, but, seriously, what a gift this time was. And not just the time – the food and gifts and conversations filled up my soul.

“Jesus was intentional about finding time to refuel. He knew there were many demands upon his time and energy and he had to be a good steward of his body, soul, and mind. Nobody had to tell him, ‘Jesus, go rest.’ Instead he recognized his need to pull away from the crowds and find the refreshment he needed. 

As moms, we need to do the same. People and responsibilities demand much from us and we have to be good stewards of our body, soul, and mind. We can’t wait until we’re drained dry or until someone comes along and offers to watch our kids (like that happens very often!). Instead we have to learn to be proactive about our self-care so that we can be ready to meet the needs of our family.”

{Jill Savage in “Real Moms … Real Jesus”}

Here are some ideas to get time alone …

1. Don’t always work during naptime. The dishes can wait.

2. Hang out with your husband after the kids are in bed. Your marriage needs to be a priority.

3. Plan dinner out with a friend.

4. Dads don’t babysit – they hang out with their kids. My husband often headed up bath time in the evenings so I could sit down … or clean up the kitchen. {Praise God the kids can shower themselves now!}

5. Preschool is good for the momma soul.

6. Let grandparents spend time with your kids without you.

7. Swap childcare with friends. My friends and I had a babysitting coop for a season when our kids were toddlers and preschoolers. Two moms would watch kids for a few hours one day a month while the other moms could go do whatever – work, rest, lunch with grownups, appointments. We planned months in advance so the moms could make plans.

8. Get up earlier than your kids. I never do this, but, hey, I know people who do … 

Regardless, make sure you make time for yourself – somehow – and don’t feel guilty about doing so.

“Choosing yourself is not wrong. The longer you go without taking time for yourself, the more resentment will fester, exhaustion will set in, and you will have nothing left to give – to anyone. Guilt has no place in the decision to take care of yourself. 

This self-inflicted guilt is holding us hostage. It also drives a wedge between us and intimacy with the Father. We cannot let guilt block us from experiencing the freedom we have in Christ and all the blessings he has for us.”

{Jessica Turner in “The Fringe Hours: Making Time For You”}

As a mom, how do you find time – even small pockets of time – for yourself?