• Lighten the load of foster care

    ByKristin family, foster care
    7 Comments

    Did you know when foster children move from house to house, they often tote their few belongings in a trash bag? For a children who is already struggling to belong and feel part of a family, this could further widen the gap. 

    Sounds like a lofty, complicated problem. But there are simple ways you can help – and I just learned about a new one! 

    “My Bag My Story” is a non-profit organization working to improve the lives of children in foster care by providing them with high-quality bags. Each time a bag is purchased, another high-quality bag is donated to a child navigating the foster system. 

    This initiative addresses the painful stigma of hauling possessions in a trash bag. These bags are more than just practical; they are symbols of support and recognition, affirming the inherent value and worth of every child in the foster care system. This gesture not only provides something functional, but it also helps foster children feel seen and valued – an ultimate goal of caring for any child. 

    “I started My Bag My Story after becoming a foster parent and watching children always have their belongings in a trash bag or grocery sack or nothing. Everyone kept saying this was normal. I said it doesn’t have to be normal, so I set out to have bags made for kids,” said My Bag My Story Founder Cara Finger. “Having a bag to call your own instead of a trash bag gives a child dignity and makes them feel valued. A bag seems so small but makes a huge difference in their foster care experience. Making a child feel like they are worth more than trash is so important to me.”

    It’s important to me too. I have friends who foster children, who have adopted through the foster system, or who have adopted kids through other processes like I did (three times). 

    In addition to the donations, My Bag My Story has partnered with more than 30 Tennessee-based organizations that work directly with children in the foster care system in order to get them high-quality duffel bags and backpacks. As a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, My Bag My Story depends on the support of local and national corporations, including Dell, The Predators Foundation, St. George’s Episcopal Church, and Target.

    Foster Care Facts

    There are more 400,000 children in the U.S. foster care system right now, according to the U.S. Department of Education. Each year, around 20,000 young people age out of the foster care system at age 18 (or 21 in some states) without being reunited with their families or adopted, which can present significant challenges for their transition to independent living. Learn more facts about the foster care system here. 

    Call to action

    Order a bag and one will be given to a child navigating the foster care system! There are so many great options. I bought the purple duffle bag with my own money, not as part of this promotional campaign. I can’t get over the high-quality fabric that is both pretty and functional. In addition to its website, you can find My Bag My Story on Instagram and Facebook. 

    Even if buying a bag isn’t an option for you today, please share this organization with others in your life who may be interested. If you’re looking for other ways to serve foster families, here are six other ideas of things you can do.

    Giveaway

    I wish I could give you a bag, but I do have a $10 Amazon card for one U.S. winner! Tell me in the comments about any experience you’ve had with foster care and why you’d like to do a little something to improve the system. A winner will be randomly chosen on Tuesday, Oct. 1, 2024. 

    *****

    Thanks to My Bag My Story for the work it’s doing and to Momentum Influencers for including me in this campaign. These opinions are 100% my own. 

  • Fostering a community that stays

    ByKristin foster care, guest post
    4 Comments

    Today’s the fourth in a series about being better together in honor of Foster Care Awareness Month. I’ve glad to have Addison Futrell here today. We’ve crossed paths in our small town through mutual friends and I love how she considers foster care a community endeavor.

    If you missed the earlier posts, I encourage you to read about how Hailey’s village has helped her as her family grew through foster care, how Bethany’s older kids specifically embraced her family’s journey into fostering, and how we can all serve foster families.

    *****

    I began to see the needs in the foster care system through my involvement with our church’s youth group. I was teaching high school and middle school girls in Sunday school and regularly had three to five foster kids in the class. The Lord began to open my eyes to specific biases I held about foster care prior to even knowing any foster kiddos personally! I realized “Hey, these kids really are just regular kids.”

    Slowly God started to put the burden on my heart to walk down the road of discovering more and more about foster care. Surprisingly, everyone I asked who was immersed in the foster care world was very supportive and encouraged me about the next steps for my husband, Bailey, and me.

    At first, Bailey was very hesitant about the idea of becoming foster parents. With some persistence on my part and God softening Bailey’s heart to the idea, he agreed to go to the first informal information meeting that is no strings attached. For anyone remotely interested in foster care, I would highly recommend going to a meeting like this. It opened our eyes to the great needs of the children in care and what is actually expected of foster parents. It was very convicting but also encouraged us as current non-parents. We were assured we would have the tools and community given to us to help us succeed as loving caretakers for these children that need love so desperately.

    Coming into foster care without biological children was a whirlwind. We had to jump headfirst into every resource because we did not own any children’s toys, clothes, or beds. We were given excellent training through the state on parenting, trauma, sexual abuse, and so many other topics. Also, we had the most supportive family and friends helping us combat every fear, insecurity, and uncertainty we faced along the way. Our social worker gave us a packet filled with foster closet resources to help us get any items imaginable for any placement we would eventually get. We were given a set of bunk beds by a friend of a friend in our church. The community to launch us off was insane. We felt so prepared and terrified at the same time.

    The community didn’t just launch us off into the world of foster care, this group of people also stuck around for the messy parts too. They were the first ones there with meals, toys, and lunch boxes when our family grew with an hour’s notice. This community was also there when we were given an hour’s notice the kids we loved so much were unexpectedly going home. Our family helped us through the emotional part of packing the kid’s stuff. Our friends gathered and said emotional goodbyes and we were once again floored by the community and how these people were just as much a part of this journey as we were, if not more.

    Community is a must in the foster care world. Our community also includes resources such as The Moses Basket, Partners in Care Foster Closet, neighbors, our church small groups, and the list goes on and on. This community is my favorite part of foster care. As cliché as the statement may be, it truly takes a village to support, love, and bridge the gap for these kids.

    *****

    Addison and her husband, Bailey, have been fostering a little more than a year. Some days she’s got a carload of kids blaring Kids Bop and some days her family grows only for the weekend.

  • Six ways to help foster families

    ByKristin foster care
    4 Comments

    Most people know I became a mom through adoption – three times. A couple of hard years of infertility is how God led Greg and me to adoption. We had no idea what we were getting into, but once we were there, we knew that’s where we were supposed to be.

    Adoption wasn’t our Plan B, but infertility was the heartache God used to get our attention. Obviously, not everyone is called to adoption or foster care. But God does call his followers to care for the fatherless and orphans.

    If when we – as believers – claim to be pro-life, we have to do more than protest abortion. We don’t have to adopt or foster, but we do have to serve children who need love and moms who are choosing life. And some of those children and mommas are in the trenches of the foster system. Sometimes caring for orphans does mean growing your family through adoption or foster care, but many times it looks like helping families who are walking through these processes.

    1. Show up with a meal.

    Any time a regular routine is interrupted – even with something happy like new life – it’s hard to get to the grocery, plan meals, and prepare meals. And whatever you bring doesn’t have to be gourmet. Go to the local BBQ restaurant and get enough meat and sides to provide a few meals to the family adjusting to its new normal. Have a pizza delivered to them. Double whatever you’re making for your own family.

    2. Offer specific help.

    Think about this family’s life and offer to do something specific – go to the grocery, do laundry, sit with the baby so momma can shower, or mow the lawn. Texts that say “Let me know what I can do” are well-intentioned, but saying “I’m at the grocery store, what I can I get you?” are more practical.

    3. Provide care or rides for children.

    With the foster system come many appointments (pediatrician checkups, visitation with bio family, extracurricular activities, etc.) the family doesn’t have much control over. If you know a family who is fostering, offer to help with any other kids in the home or be willing to transport kids to appointments.

    4. Be on call to get supplies.

    Foster situations often happen with little time to spare. If you know someone who suddenly has a new child in the home, offer to run to Walmart to get diapers, formula, clothes, activities, or whatever else that child may need. Children often come into foster homes with almost nothing. If you’re local to the Murray, KY area, we have a foster care closet where foster families can get free clothes and other supplies for their children. Please feel free to refer people to Partners in Care Foster Closet.

    5. Let parents give gifts.

    Foster children have a lot of people in and out of their lives. So, if you have something special to give a child, let the parents do that for bonding purposes. Depending on your relationship with the family, you may get a chance to bond with the child too, but give that time.

    6. Understand you may not understand.

    Even if you weren’t called to foster, your friend was. Be a listening ear and be there for whatever practical support is necessary, but don’t judge the way she’s bonding with a child that may not be in her home forever. This child needs love – and with that comes attachment. Yes, it’s hard. But God doesn’t promise he’ll call us only to easy things. He calls us to sanctify us – and that usually means doing something hard. In fostering, there are emotional challenges as well as the complications that come with a flawed system.

    Serving foster families in these ways – or other ways that make sense for the people in your life – then you’re living out James 1:27. And my guess is you’ll get a whole new perspective that draws you nearer to God.

    *****

    This is the third in this month’s ongoing series on being better together in honor of Foster Care Awareness Month. If you missed the earlier posts, I encourage you to read about how Hailey’s village has helped her as her family grew through foster care and how Bethany’s older kids specifically embraced her family’s journey into fostering.