Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Creating Family Unity

January 4, 2021 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Our homes are supposed to be a place of refuge and comfort from outside forces, but sometimes it can seem like that takes a lot of effort. Helping to create a sense of unity and safety can help the atmosphere of your home be peaceful and loving instead of contentious – even with all the personalities in play at the same moment. Here are some ways you help make your house a home where all family members feel valued and important.

Commitment

It is important family members feel secure in their pace in the family and committed to helping others as well. Many times people will adopt an “everyone for themselves” mentality and that can chip away at the foundation of a family. Family members should be committed and loyal to other members of the family in helping them become their best selves and supporting them in their lives. For us, that has meant conversations about understanding one another’s love languages and personalities.

We strive to be committed to supporting each member’s emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. If we make this a top priority and goal for ourselves, other people will start to take the cues and adopt the behavior as well. Truthfully, while this prolonged season of social distancing has certain come with adjustments, it’s almost helped deepen our commitments to our family.

Compassion

We also need to act with compassion in our homes. Greg and I believe if compassion starts in our home, it will overflow into our other social circles and even among strangers in our ordinary lives. I’ve certainly been guilty of being the worst version of myself toward the people closest to me, but that ultimately threatens to harm the most important relationships in our lives. Unkind words, angry outbursts, pettiness, and jealousy can all sow deep seeds of distrust and unhappiness in our homes. As a mom, I’ve had to grow in this area along with my kids. I’m thankful for the grace that abounds when we mess up and as well learn together.

Greg and I want to teach our kids to genuinely caring about the struggles, difficulties, and fears each of us face. Allowing space for their sadness, even when we may not understand it, and celebrating victories with them is equally important to create a compassionate environment.

Communication

We need to be able to communicate effectively with our family members to build a sense of unity and deepen our relationships. As parents, we take on the responsibility for this. One way Greg and I have improved our communication is by having a shared Google Calendar. Knowing what’s happening logistically in our day-to-day lives at work and home helps foster even more conversations to keep us on the same page. We need to be informed about the communication they have with others. You can go to this blog article to read more about doing that.

We also need to focus on the communication that is happening in our homes with each other. With different personalities and preferences, we each have our own communication styles too. Good communication requires active listening. Listening to understand instead of to respond, asking for clarification, and offering support are all important to help someone be heard. We need to put down defensiveness and really try to understand someone if there is a disagreement instead of focusing on being understood.

Compromise

There will always be disagreements in any relationship, and family relationships are no exception. Healthy and unified families are always striving toward the best possible outcome for the family unit, and sometimes that will mean that individuals don’t get everything they were hoping to get. And usually that means making adjustments as seasons change, kids grow, and life happens.

Negotiation is healthy and should be encouraged. Considering the hopes and schedules of other family members will help them to feel loved and understood. When we compromise on some issues and take turns, we get what we want sometimes too and the family grows together. There needs to be a balance between striving to get what we want and supporting the other members of the family in their pursuits and desires.

Traditions

A great way to support family unity is through the use of family time and traditions. Embracing yearly traditions or weekly family time will allow family members to get to know each other and to build a relationship that will benefit everyone involved.

We have different traditions for birthdays, holidays, and ordinary days. None of them are elaborate, but they all anchor us to our place in this family and in our larger community of friends. Again, the Google Calendar helps Greg and I communicate about plans we want to make sure happen and don’t get lost in the busyness of life with kids and responsibilities.

Game Nights are some of our family times, and we often rotate who chooses which game we play next. This helps everyone feel included and get a chance to pick their favorite game. While we play games, we learn about each other, compete in good fun, and make memories.

(Here are many of our favorite games, if you need some recommendations.)

Christ

We can do all kinds of things to create a sense of unity and peace in our homes, but ultimately Christ is the center anchor of all this. When all members of the family are focused on drawing closer to Christ and living out our beliefs rooted in faith, we will automatically draw closer to each other as well.

We haven’t been to church since March, but we’ve been having home church in our living room. While it’s been different and involved adjustments on everyone’s part, the time we set aside on Sunday mornings has helped us learn more about Christ and each other. We’ve gotten to share in something Greg and I value in a new way together and God’s been faithful to meet us when we gather on the couches together, often in our pajamas.

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Books of 2020

December 21, 2020 by Kristin Leave a Comment

Here we are the end of another year, and here I am with a book post.

It was a weird year all around. Reading came in phases for me. Some weeks I wouldn’t touch a book because I just couldn’t handle any more information; other weeks I devoured a couple of fiction books. I read 68 books.

Turns out I managed to read more than than I did in 2019 (53 total), 2018 (52), 2017 (47), and 2016 (53.) I did read almost twice as much non-fiction this year compared to last, but that’s because I was on a memoir kick. I guess reading worked out for me, even though there wasn’t much of a rhythm to it. (Read here about the nine ways I make time for books.)

I try to make these posts helpful, so I added links to my reviews elsewhere on the internet. Most helpful would be telling you my favorites or something like that, but that’s like choosing favorite children and just depends on what you’re wanting. How about 10 superlatives for the books I managed to read in 2020?

Kristin’s 2020 Book Superlatives

  • Biggest surprise for a beach read: “Beach Read” by Emily Henry
  • Favorite WWII novel: “Ragged Edge of Night” by Olivia Hawker or “The Things We Cannot Say” by Kelly Rimmer
  • Favorite historical fiction not related to WWII or any other war: “The Giver of Stars” by Jojo Moyes
  • Powerful & timely: “Great Small Things” by Jodi Picoult
  • Biggest surprise from an author I’d quit: “28 Summers” by Elin Hilderbrand
  • Made me long for different politics: “Sisters First: Stories from Our Wild and Wonderful Life” by Jenna Bush Hager and Barbara Pierce Bush
  • Most impactful: “The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done” by Kendra Adachi
  • Most encouraging for 2020: “On the Bright Side: Stories about Friendship, Love, and Being True to Yourself” by Melanie Shankle
  • Weirdest: “Nine Perfect Strangers” by Liane Moriarity
  • Biggest regrets: “Big Summer” by Jennifer Weiner and “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour

Alright, friends, now for my whole list. But, wait, first, you have to know a few things: If I can’t get into or don’t like a book, I typically quit it. I am picky about historical fiction. And I don’t read scary anymore, especially if it has to do with missing kids or husbands who die in car wrecks.

Fiction

  1. “The Things We Cannot Say” by Kelly Rimmer {Instagram Review}
  2. “Lilac Girls” by Martha Hall Kelly {Instagram Review}
  3. “Lost Roses” by Martha Hall Kelly {Goodreads Review}
  4. “Maybe Someday” by Colleen Hoover {Goodreads Review}
  5. “Maybe Now” by Colleen Hoover {Goodreads Review}
  6. “Everything You Are” by Kerry Anne King {Instagram Review}
  7. “The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland” by Rebekah Crane {Instagram Review}
  8. “Postcards for a Songbird” by Rebekah Crane {Goodreads Review}
  9. “The Infinite Pieces of Us” by Rebekah Crane {Instagram Review}
  10. “The Survivor’s Guide to Family Happiness” by Maddie Dawson {Instagram Review}
  11. “Ragged Edge of Night” by Olivia Hawker {Goodreads Review}
  12. “The Rest of the Story” by Sarah Dessen {Instagram Review}
  13. “An American Marriage” by Tayari Jones {Goodreads Review}
  14. “Letters to the Lost” by Iona Grey {Instagram Review}
  15. “The Huntress” by Kate Quinn {Goodreads Review}
  16. “Eleanor & Park” by Rainbow Rowell {Goodreads Review}
  17. “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour {Goodreads Review}
  18. “Great Small Things” by Jodi Picoult {Instagram Review}
  19. “The Girl You Left Behind” by Jojo Moyes {Instagram Review}
  20. “The Alice Network” by Kate Quinn {Facebook Review}
  21. “The Other Mrs.” by Mary Kubica {Instagram Review}
  22. “Little Fires Everywhere” by Celeste Ng {Goodreads Review}
  23. “Slightly South of Simple” (The Peachtree Bluff Series #1) by Kristy Woodson Harvey {Instagram Review}
  24. “The Secrets to Southern Charm” (The Peachtree Bluff Series #2) by Kristy Woodson Harvey
  25. “The Southern Side of Paradise” (The Peachtree Bluff Series #3) by Kristy Woodson Harvey
  26. “The Dearly Beloved” by Cara Wall {Instagram Review}
  27. “Ask Again, Yes” by Mary Beth Keane {Instagram Review}
  28. “The Killing Tide” (Coastal Guardians #1) by Dani Pettrey {Facebook Review}
  29. “Crushing Depths” (Coastal Guardians #2) by Dani Pettrey {Goodreads Review}
  30. “The Giver of Stars” by Jojo Moyes {Instagram Review}
  31. “The Reckoning” by John Grisham {Facebook Review}
  32. “If You Must Know” by Jamie Beck {Goodreads Review}
  33. “Heart Bones” by Colleen Hoover {Instagram Review}
  34. “Feels Like Falling” by Kristy Woodson Harvey {Instagram Review}
  35. “The Edge of Belonging” by Amanda Cox {Review}
  36. “Big Summer” by Jennifer Weiner {Facebook Review}
  37. “This Secret Thing” by Marybeth Mayhew Whalen {Goodreads Review}
  38. “What You Wish For” by Katherine Center {Instagram Review}
  39. “Beach Read” by Emily Henry {Instagram Review}
  40. “28 Summers” by Elin Hilderbrand {Facebook Review}
  41. “The Vanishing Half” by Brit Bennett {Facebook Review}
  42. “Looking for Alaska” by John Green {Goodreads Reiew}
  43. “This Time Next Year” by Sophie Cousens {Instagram Review}
  44. “Nine Perfect Strangers” by Liane Moriarity {Facebook Review}
  45. “The Wife Upstairs” by Rachel Hawkins {Instagram Review}

Memoir

  1. “The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship” by Jeffrey Zaslow {Goodreads Review}
  2. “On the Bright Side: Stories about Friendship, Love, and Being True to Yourself” by Melanie Shankle {Review}
  3. “The Call of the Farm: An Unexpected Year of Getting Dirty, Home Cooking, and Finding Myself” by Rochelle Bilow {Goodreads Review}
  4. “The Sound of Gravel” by Ruth Wariner {Instagram Review}
  5. “Glitter and Glue” by Kelly Corrigan {Facebook Review}
  6. “A Polygamist’s Daughter” by Anna LeBaron {Goodreads Review}
  7. “Educated” by Tara Westover {Goodreads Review}
  8. “Yes Please” by Amy Poehler {Goodreads Review}
  9. “Live in Love: Growing Together Through Life’s Changes” by Lauren Akins {Instagram Review}
  10. “Everything Beautiful in Its Time: Seasons of Love and Loss” by Jenna Bush Hager {Instagram Review}
  11. “Sisters First: Stories from Our Wild and Wonderful Life” by Jenna Bush Hager and Barbara Pierce Bush

Non-fiction

  1. “The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective” by Richard Rohr
  2. “Anger: Calming Your Heart (31-Day Devotionals for Life)” by Robert D. Jones
  3. “Five Days at Memorial: Life and Death at a Storm-Ravaged Hospital” by Sheri Fink {Goodreads Review}
  4. “Keeping the Faith: A Study in Jude” by Lianna Davis {Review}
  5. “I’d Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life” by Anne Bogel {Related Instagram Post}
  6. “Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything” by Anne Bogel {Related Facebook Post}
  7. “7 Feasts: Finding Christ in the Sacred Celebrations of the Old Testament” by Erin Davis {Review}
  8. “The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done” by Kendra Adachi {Review and Related Instagram Post}
  9. “Take Back Your Life: A 40-Day Interactive Journey to Thinking Right so You Can Live Right” by Levi Lusko {Review}
  10. “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories About Gathering & Nourishing People” by Kristin Hill Taylor (Me!) {Resources & Goodies}
  11. “The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You” by Holley Gerth {Instagram Review}
  12. “Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus: Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas” edited by Nancy Guthrie {Related Post}

Family books

  1. “On-the-Go Devotional” {Review}
  2. “Jesus and the Very Big Surprise: A True Story about Jesus, His Return, and How to Be Ready” by Randall Goodgame {Review}
  3. “Little Words Matter Jumbo Coloring Book” {Review}
  4. “Important Things Every Kid Should Know to Survive Middle School: Follow God, Try New Things, and Don’t Freak Out” by Sandy Silverthorne {Review}

*****

Of course, I want to hear about what books from this list you’ve loved, what I need to read in the new year, and whatever else you want to tell me about books. Pull up a chair on my virtual porch, and let’s talk books.

In the meantime, I also keep a list of all kinds of recommended reads (divided into categories) on Amazon, if you’re looking for even more suggestions. I also keep an updated list and post some reviews at Goodreads, if you want to follow along there. Here are lists from 2019, 2018, and 2017.

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How to make time for books

December 17, 2020 by Kristin 1 Comment

On my real-life and virtual porches, people often ask: How do you make time to read so many books?

“So many” is relative because I know some people read more books than I do. But, hey, I like to watch TV too. Even so, I thought I’d share nine ways I manage to read books while also mothering my children, who are currently 13, 11, and 5.

1. I read on a Kindle.

Say what you will about missing the physical turning of pages and the smell of an actual book, a Kindle is convenient. I can have hundreds of books at my fingertips wherever I go. And when I finish one, my next ones are right there.

I do read actual books, especially when I get them free, discounted, or from the library. And I read more physical books in 2020 because I needed a break from the screens.

Also, Amazon Prime members get a free book each month as part of the First Reads perk. It helps with quality Kindle reading. (Try Amazon Prime for free for 30 days! Kindle books are only one perk. We also love free, fast shipping and streaming music and TV shows.)

2. I review books on my blog.

I get quite a few free books through launch teams and blogger review programs, although I did less of that in 2020. Weird year. The deadlines that come with the review process keep me reading too. Plus reviewing books helps me process them and connect with other readers.

3. We spend a lot of time poolside.

I devour some fiction books at the pool. In the summer, I’m easier going when it comes to chores and household tasks. (I’m trying to adopt that mentality year around, though!) Just one more chapter and then I’ll move the laundry to the dryer and start a new load in the washer! This was true before we had our own pool, and it helps that my kids are strong swimmers.

4. I read when I’m waiting or sitting …

… at the doctor’s office, at the school pickup line, and when I eat breakfast. I’ve been known to buckle in my youngest and show up at the big kids’ school early just so I can read. Now with waiting room restrictions, I take a book with me to read while my youngest two kids and I sit in the parking lot while my oldest has her monthly orthodontist appointments.

5. I stop reading books I don’t like.

There are way too many good books to waste time on the ones that aren’t working for me. For real, ain’t nobody got time to wait and see if a book might get good. I’m also picky about historical fiction and don’t read fantasy or scary stuff, especially if it involves missing kids, husbands dying in car wrecks, or other situations that could hit too close to home. I don’t really like time travel or anything that’s too far-fetched either.

6. I read what I’m in the mood to read.

Typically, I read one book at a time. I tend to go through fiction binges. I don’t pressure myself to read through a list. I choose my next book when I’m done with the current one. Surprisingly, I don’t set reading goals. It’s a free for all, and that works best for me in this one area of my life!

7. I keep a wish list of books.

I love book recommendations, so I have an easy-accessible list on Amazon. I add to it often, order from it sometimes when prices drop, and consult it in the library. I also keep an Amazon list of good reads to share with others. As much as I like reading, I certainly also like talking about books.

8. I splurged on Book of the Month.

I’d seen people talk about, share the books they received, and brag about the subscription service. I gifted it to myself a couple of months ago and am gifting it to a few people this Christmas. I’ve gotten two monthly picks so far: “This Time Next Year” by Sophie Cousens and “The Wife Upstairs” by Rachel Hawkins plus “Atomic Love” by Jennie Fields as a free add-on pick I earned from the gifts I purchased. (Join BOTM here.)

9. I use the library.

I typically don’t re-read books, so borrowing them works well for me. In 2020, our hometown library did a great job with curbside pickup service. I like to browse, especially the well-stocked new release section, at the library in the neighboring county where my kids attend school. It was opened some this fall, but it’s been shut down again recently. So, yes, COVID made library usage different, but there were still ways to support my reading habit.

Fellow readers, what would you add to your list about how you make time to read?

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our eighth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear fifth-grade boy, and our joy-filled preschool girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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On Instagram

I’ve loved Cate’s school experience at @ncca.l I’ve loved Cate’s school experience at @ncca.lions, a small but growing classical, Christian school. I knew there were both advantages and sacrifices of keeping her in a small class for middle school and agonized over possibly moving her to a bigger school. I only considered moving her because I wasn’t sure what her classmates, some of who are freshman this year, were going to do for high school. But they stayed, and we stayed. Now she’s an eighth grader in a class of nine. 

A couple years ago, I prayed for more girls. God gave her class two. Sometimes people move on, and sometimes people move in. But this sweet class of eighth and ninth graders has been faithful — to each other, to our school, to an unknown future. They’re paving a way for the students behind them, including my other two kids. 

God has been kind to my momma heart and given me some assurances she is where she’s supposed to be. One of these provisions is a basketball team that has become competitive with the other teams we’ve gotten to play. It’s more than just some games, though. I’ve watched my 13-year-old daughter become more confident on the court and in life. I’m grateful for her friends and their shared love of this game. I’m thankful for where God has us. 

#momlife #classicaleducation #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #girlmom #momconfessions #bettertogether #middleschool #middleschoolbasketball
At a basketball game Thursday night, Ben told me h At a basketball game Thursday night, Ben told me he had a loose tooth and was going to go to the bathroom to maybe pull it. He pulled it. That’s #14, and he’s dealt with every single one, just as his older sister did with all 20 of hers.

Meanwhile, little sister has a loose tooth that she won’t wiggle, avoids using to eat, and won’t let her siblings pull. We’ve bribed, threatened, and failed to persuade.

#momlife #boymom #thirdchild #girlmom #reallife #momconfessions
I was overdue for some TLC to my hair, so I got it I was overdue for some TLC to my hair, so I got it trimmed and colored this week. You know it’s time when the stylist takes before and after pictures. My friend @whitneyrscott at @blushsalon always does a good job. 

In addition to the much-needed TLC, I also got bangs. After a few days, I can say I love them. The resident teenager at my home doesn’t like this — and she tells me daily. I tell her I don’t care whether she likes them because I do and it’s my hair. She also didn’t like the tennis shoes I bought a few weeks ago. Again, I do, so who cares. 

Anyway, it’s Friday! So let’s do some #fridayintroductions around here. Tell me three things you’re loving these days. I’ve already mostly told you mine: 

1️⃣ My bangs. I’ve included a picture of the fun waves that Whitney gave me at the salon and the more likely normal styling — by that I mean blow drying and some minor straightening to train the bangs. 
2️⃣ New tennis shoes, which are gray & purple Brooks Launch 7, if you’re curious. My nail color accidentally matches them. 
3️⃣ The teenager in my house. I’ve been giving her grief about her dislike of my fashion choices, but I really love being around her. Honestly, she’s the easiest kid in my house right now. 

✨ Bonus current love: Who can tell me what TV character inspired my hairdo? If you know, then that’s also the TV show I recently binged and am eagerly awaiting new episodes. 

So, what are you loving — even if nobody else in your life does? #momconfessions #reallife #reallifeconfessions #momlife #choosingJOY
It’s been a night of basketball! First, my girl’s middle school game. Now, our favorite college team. Turns out they’re both navy & gold so that’s good for wardrobe choices. 💛 #girlmom #momlife #RacerNation #WeAreRacers #MurrayState
“The Chicken Sisters” by @kjda was a fun, quic “The Chicken Sisters” by @kjda was a fun, quick read this weekend. I added it to my to-read list recently and then saw it as a @bookofthemonth add-on.

I enjoyed the feuding sisters story unfolding while filming a realty show about their family’s feuding chicken restaurants in a small Kansas town. Of course, not everything is quite as it seems, so the reality show helps uncover some reality both sisters were missing.

#amreading #bookstagram #booklover #recommendedreads #thechickensisters #weekending
We needed to get out of the house today — even t We needed to get out of the house today — even though the sun barely peeked through the clouds into the cold air. #countryliving #weekending #choosingJOY #boymom #thirdchild
A week into Peggy’s recovery at our house, and t A week into Peggy’s recovery at our house, and these two have spent a lot of time together. Rachel encourages her and stays close. Peggy plays games and watches movies with Rachel.

Honestly, this #thirdchild of mine was probably my biggest concern with having Peggy recover from open heart surgery here: I didn’t want Rachel to hug too hard. I didn’t know if she’d understand that her Gran-Gran looks fine on the inside but hurts on the inside. She’s been booted from her room, but she’s been sleeping well on her mattress in the back living room. She’s actually probably not going to know what to do when Peggy moves back home.

For now, we’ll let them make memories together. That’s part of caretaking I hadn’t considered. #bettertogether #weekending #choosingJOY
I’ve been in a reading slump. I returned one lib I’ve been in a reading slump. I returned one library book I couldn’t get into and then couldn’t decide what to read next. So I went with this library book — and I’m glad I did.

“The Unhoneymooners” by @christinalauren is a funny romance novel that helped distract my mind from heavy thoughts. It also made me want to go to Maui. The dialogue is delightful, the story of quirky from the get-go, and I definitely found myself rooting for Ethan and Olive.

I also discovered by reading the acknowledgements (possibly my favorite thing about books!) that @christinalauren is the pen name for a writing duo. What fun to write novels with a friend! 

As always, I’m happy to accept your recommendations on what to read next. I may also be pondering what friend with whom to write my next book. 📚 #amreading #fiction #authorlife #bookstagram #bettertogether #romcombooks
My friend Delana called before she brought us dinn My friend Delana called before she brought us dinner yesterday and asked if we liked chocolate pie. Um, yes. Turns out both Peggy and I love chocolate pie. Delana gave us chocolate chips cookies too, you know, just in case we didn’t like pie.

My friends are loving on us so well this week with dinner & dessert, obviously. Yes, the food is good, but the way they saw a need and met it is even more gracious. (I wrote a book about gathering & nourishing your people!) Having someone provide dinner has freed up some mental space I’m able to use for taking care of Peggy and parenting my kids, some of whom have needed a little extra love and guidance this week. 

Peggy is nine days removed from open heart surgery with quadruple bypass and is doing well. She had a good check up with her primary care provider this morning. We’re thankful for our community of people who continue to pray for us, feed us, and provide help, like today’s impromptu preschool pickup when an appointment ran long. (Thanks, @katie_cunningham85 & @tstanger25!)

#bettertogether #momlife #reallife #morethangroceries #choosingJOY
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