How to be human

I recently told a friend that being a human (a wife, a mom, a friend, a sister …) is hard. Then I recognized part of the reason is that we live in a culture that celebrates humans doing all of the things.

We praise productivity and are eager for efficiency. We applaud achievement and measure our days by the marks on our to-do list. But if we aren’t careful, we determine our worth based on these metrics and not by what our Creator says. The pressure to do more can quietly shape the way we see ourselves, even as followers of Christ.

But Scripture consistently reminds us of something different: Before we are called to do, we are invited to be. We were created as human beings to be with God and others. 

At the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, humanity wasn’t created with a to-do list. Adam and Eve were created for relationship: to walk with God, enjoy His presence, be with each other, and live in the identity by which He defined them. Their first calling was to BE. Then God entrusted them with working in the garden. That order matters because otherwise we begin to live out of striving instead of identity and become “human doings.” 

Even in the life of Jesus, we see the rhythm of being. Before Jesus began His public ministry, before the miracles, the teaching, or the crowds, something profound happened at His baptism. A voice from heaven declared: “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Notice something important: Jesus had not yet performed a single miracle or sermon.

The Father’s pleasure came from who Jesus was, not what He had done. That same truth is extended to us. Through Christ, we are adopted as sons and daughters of God. Our identity is not built on our accomplishments, our ministries, our parenting success, or our productivity. Our identity is rooted in belonging to Him.

When we live primarily as “human doings,” several things begin to happen: We attach our worth to our productivity. If the day was productive, we feel valuable. If it wasn’t, we feel like failures. We struggle to rest because we think even that has to be earned. We fall into the false illusions that everything depends on us instead of trusting God with outcomes.

Even spiritually, we can fall into this trap. We can turn faith into a checklist: Did I read my Bible today? Did I pray long enough? Did I serve enough?

These practices are good and life-giving, but they are meant to flow from our relationship with God, not replace it or define it. 

From a place of being, doing naturally follows, but it looks very different. Instead of striving for approval, we begin to live from approval. Instead of trying to prove our worth, we begin to serve from the security of being loved. Jesus described this beautifully when He said to abide in Him (John 15).

While “abiding” is an ongoing verb, it is NOT about constant activity. It’s about connection with God and others. When we live from that place, our work, service, parenting, and ministry become expressions of the life God is already producing within us. Now, this isn’t a call to be lazy, but to be wise and in tune with God says about us as His creations.

Certainly, listen to how God is calling you into His presence and rest, but here are some suggestions (not a checklist) of how to be human: 

• Slow down enough to notice God’s presence.
• Create space for quiet prayer and reflection. Leave the sink of dirty dishes alone for now. 
• Remind yourself that your value doesn’t rise or fall with your productivity.
• Take a nap. Sometimes that’s what we need to take care of responsibilities later. 
• Read. Work a puzzle. Call a friend. Take a walk. Plan a trip. (I’m telling you, hobbies matter.)

When we rediscover the freedom of being with God and stop the striving and trying and doing, something beautiful happens: Our work becomes worship. Our service becomes joyful. Our rest becomes peaceful.

That’s how to be as a human rather than do. 

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This is a newly written blog post, but it echoes some of the themes of how we were Created for Communion, which is the title of one of my books. Learn more here.