How to connect amid summer chaos
Historically, summer has been a good time to connect while routines are different but rhythms still exist in our days. I’m reminded this year that each season is different. This summer feels like its own thing, different from last summer or what’s to come next summer.
And, let’s be honest, this summer it seems none of my people have synced schedules, making it a little more difficult to connect, but we’re trying anyway! Maybe you’re experiencing the same thing with schedules all over the place and broken relationships.
The kids aren’t the center of my household in that they dictate our lives, but I have one teenager on her way out of our household and another who doesn’t drive yet. They work and socialize. If I want a dinner with all five of us, I have to plan accordingly, and that’s okay. I want them learning about earning and handling money. I want them to serve others. I want them to know how to use a calendar. This season is unique, and I’m going to make the most of all the coming and going.
The past couple of summers, a group of dear friends and I have read & studied a book together. This summer, we can’t even get all six of us, much less our families, in the same place. But we make the plans anyway. Maybe three of us catch up while (most of) our kids swim. Or maybe we just keep trying, hoping one day we’ll all be able to make it. And we get our group text alive.
Sadly, sometimes other friendships change. Even if we aren’t the source of a broken relationship, sometimes friends get divorced, and that ripples to traditions disappearing or priorities changing. Life happens in ways we can’t predict, sometimes distancing people who used to be part of our everyday circle.
Acknowledging what’s hard about connecting is okay while still trying to connect in ways that work with whatever circumstances you’re facing. Together is always better – especially in the summer!
Tips for connecting anyway:
- Have the party. Generally, someone will be able to come.
- Put conversations & gatherings on the calendar — then reschedule if you have to. I don’t say that to be flaky, but just do your best with whatever you have to offer in a given season.
- Take two kids to a comedy show, even when another kid is on an out-of-state mission trip. Yes, ideally, my whole family of five participates, but sometimes that’s just not doable. Even if it means traveling for five days without the 18-year-old girl for the first time. Or take just the youngest to a nearby water park. (Obviously, those are some specific examples from my summer, but, you know, do the event or activity, even if you have to work around another commitment.)
- Invite extras along. Your kids have friends, be part of their lives & they’ll know you’re part of theirs. And let the teenagers make a slip-and-slide on a random Tuesday when they happen to be off work. Or bring along your mom or another family. Connections can happen wherever.
- Send the text, even if you aren’t sure how it will be received. Maybe propose an alternative to a tradition that isn’t possible anymore.
- If you do have some routine & rhythm to your summer days, don’t be afraid to slow down so you have a conversation, linger after a meal, or catch up with an old friend.
How do you make connections with your loved ones in the summer?
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I wrote a book about this connection called “Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories of Gathering & Nourishing People.” With that, I created a *FREE* practical guide of ideas for inviting others into your home and life – regardless of the season!