Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Thoughts on living a privileged life

October 2, 2018 by Kristin Leave a Comment

I’ve realized I certainly live a privileged life.

But, after reading “White Picket Fences: Turning Toward Love in a World Divided by Privilege” by Amy Julia Becker, I understand privilege differently. That’s what sharing stories does for people. In this book, Amy Julia shares her story and challenges us to think about our own.

I especially loved chapter nine when Amy Julia redefines privilege. Then in chapter ten reading about Penny’s down syndrome diagnosis and her understanding of it reminded me of my own three kids and how their adoption stories will influence their identity.

“Privilege means being given a special status – legal or social – by virtue of something you didn’t earn. Privilege means being undeservedly yet unquestionably singled out. The way we typically assign privilege – based on race or gender or religion or economic status – distorts our humanity. It cuts us off from one another. But in those times of hardship, I experienced a different kind of privilege, a kind of unearned beauty and promise and grace that did not emerge from anything having to do with wealth, education or ethnicity. …. It was the privilege of being singled out for something purposeful, being the undeserving recipient of the gift of human connection.”

– Amy Julia Becker in “White Picket Fences”

My own perception of privilege has been shaped by adoption – my relationships with my kids’ birth moms; interaction with a social worker that didn’t believe we should be open to children of any race because we live in a small, predominantly white town; our ability to provide more than everything our kids need; and the community of adoptive and foster moms around me. But how I view the perks and hardships of privilege has also been influenced by my upbringing by two educators, being the oldest of three kids, and marrying into another family of entrepreneurs who came to know their own privilege.

“White Picket Fences” would make a great book study because there are so many discussion points. I’ve actually already recommended it a few times to real-life friends because certain passages reminded me of them or I recognized the importance of this message.

“The privilege of whiteness and wealth can become a wall against the privilege of being human, loved not for status or performance but simply loved, and able to give love in return not because of obligation but in grateful response to an invitation. I have been given much that I do not deserve, and my very real social privilege has cut me off from others as much as it has also made my life comfortable. But social privilege is not the end of my story. The real privilege of my life has come in learning what it means to love others, that love involves suffering and sacrifice and sleepless nights and tears and heartache and great gifts. It makes sense to talk about privilege in terms of access to private clubs and schools and bank loans and preferential treatment by authorities. It makes sense to expose the injustices of privilege and call for them to be rectified. But there is also the privilege of cleaning the wounds of people you love, of participating in healing and new life, of becoming vulnerable and needy and receiving love and care. There is another type of privilege, privilege that connects instead of divides, that shimmers through the air like a line of light, available if only we stop counting the coins and look up.”

– Amy Julia Becker in “White Picket Fences”

About the book

“White Picket Fences” is a gentle invitation into the challenging topic of privilege. The notion that some might have it better than others, for no good reason, offends our sensibilities. Yet, until we talk about privilege, we’ll never fully understand it or find our way forward.

Amy Julia Becker welcomes us into her life, from the charm of her privileged southern childhood to her adult experience in the northeast, and the denials she has faced as the mother of a child with special needs. She shows how a life behind a white picket fence can restrict even as it protects, and how it can prevent us from loving our neighbors well.

“White Picket Fences” invites us to respond to privilege with generosity, humility, and hope. It opens us to questions we are afraid to ask, so that we can walk further from fear and closer to love, in all its fragile and mysterious possibilities.

This 240-page paperback book is published by NavPress (Oct. 2, 2018).

About the author

Amy Julia Becker is also the author of “Small Talk: Learning From My Children About What Matters Most” (my review), “A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations and a Little Girl Named Penny,” and “Penelope Ayers: A Memoir.” A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, her essays about faith, family, and disability have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, Christianity Today, the Christian Century, and online for The New York Times, ABCNews, the Atlantic, Vox, and The Huffington Post. She lives with her husband Peter and three children, Penny, William, and Marilee in western Connecticut.

Keep up with Amy Julia at her website.

*****

I received an Advance Reader Copy of “White Picket Fences” as a member of the launch team, but I’ve been discussing this book with other early readers and truly am encouraged and challenged by the message.

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our high school girl who never forgets, our middle school boy who has no fear, and our joy-filled first-grade girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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Y'all have been so awesome celebrating my new book Y'all have been so awesome celebrating my new book! If you've had a chance to read it, I'd really appreciate you leaving a review. For authors, Amazon is the best place, but you can copy and paste the same review on Goodreads and Barnes & Noble too: 

📚 Amazon: bit.ly/createdforcommunion
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Of course, if you haven't gotten your copy yet, you can buy "Created for Communion" at Amazon or Barnes & Noble (from those links above!) and from the trunk of my minivan! 

🌸 Plus there are FREE resources, including a sample chapter, on my website: kristinhilltaylor.com/created-for-communion

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To live in communion with one another, means to sh To live in communion with one another, means to share meals, space, advice, and prayers. It also means sharing hope, disappointment, dreams, and forgiveness. 

We explore what this looks like in “Created for Communion,” along with other biblical foundations for friendships and community.

🌸 FREE RESOURCES & SAMPLE CHAPTER: 
kristinhilltaylor.com/created-for-communion

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So many of my Facebook friends shared lovely pictu So many of my Facebook friends shared lovely pictures of their daughters yesterday for the completely made-up National Daughters Day. Regardless, today I'm all in my feelings about my daughters. 

They're 16 and 8 right now. Both of their classes have been studying ancient Egypt and had a joint feast today. Sweet, huh? 

BUT THEN TIMEHOP GOT ME! Apparently, NINE years ago today, when Cate was a second-grader, her class had an Egyptian feast. I think about a particular picture of Cate and her friend Kilee from that day AND THEN IT CAME UP IN MY TIMEHOP TODAY. Facebook also told me that same day nine years ago, Monica and I became Facebook friends. We probably were at the Egyptian feast and decided we'd be friends because our girls were friends. Y'all, God has been so good to me through my friendship with Monica. Our families click in a special way with our three sets of same-aged kids, most of whom have been adopted. 

Anyway, my daughters. They're lovely, funny, and smart. I love that Cate helped Rachel with her Egyptian eye makeup this morning and made her a Nutella and banana sandwich. I love that they got to have a party today at school together. I love that even though they're eight years apart, they're sisters. 

I hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I do. 💛

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I’m pretty much always thinking about my next tr I’m pretty much always thinking about my next trip! Be it a weekend getaway or a family vacation, I’ve always got ideas of where I want to go next. The rest of my family always has suggestions too. Yes, take the (next) trip!

In the blog post HOW TO TAKE THE TRIP, I share lots of links and suggestions on where to go, who can help you, and what to take with you. 

✨ https://kristinhilltaylor.com/2023/09/how-to-take-the-trip.html

Where do you want to go? What do you always take with you?

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“Between Two Strangers” by @katewhite_author had such an intriguing plot that pulled me right in. I was close to figuring out how it was all intertwined, but I didn’t quite get there through all the twists. Good, quick read!

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Recently, in random snapshots. This is a full life Recently, in random snapshots. This is a full life, but it’s a good life. 💛

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When you subscribe to emails from my porch, you ge When you subscribe to emails from my porch, you get some free goodies! Plus, it's a fun way to chat about life, books, and faith. 

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You’re a light wherever you go! And you like to You’re a light wherever you go! And you like to go! You’re always making friends, asking about our next adventure, wanting to know what’s next, and talking if you’re not singing. You’re the joy our family needed in 2015 and you continue to be the one who makes us laugh and love better than we did before we knew you. 

... You ask a million questions, know the words to thousands of songs, have so many ideas, and still try to sneak into my bed at night. You say I’m the best snuggler in this family. I’ll take it – and your hugs and love, although the middle of the night will never be my favorite time. 

Happy birthday to the girl who loves loudly! 

✨ kristinhilltaylor.com/2023/09/rachel-is-8.html

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