Eleven, already.

Dear Cate,

You made me a mom ELEVEN YEARS ago today, my sweet Catherine Anna. I know I sometimes forget what I walked into the room to do, but I remember welcoming you into the world like it was yesterday. Your daddy and I had waited to become parents and God took us on a surprise adventure to you. I wouldn’t trade the hard days of infertility, the emotional wait to become a mom, or all the unknowns of the adoption process for anything because that journey gave us you.

You remind me so much of me – which is the best and hardest thing about being your mom. Us first-born girls have so many ideas, want to do all the things, and are confident we always know the best way to accomplish whatever is before us. I understand you in a way that brings me peace and frightens me.

Just the other day, I was listening to that Andrew Peterson song “Be Kind to Yourself.” It always reminds me of you because it’s the same message I preach to myself regularly. (I wrote about that in my book.) I pray you hold on to the truth you know, worry less, always be willing to try new things, give yourself grace, and be the kind of friend you want to have.

“You got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself …

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself …

How does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve got to forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you …”

{Listen here.}

I love the way you look out for Ben and Rachel, look forward to watching “The Voice” and “Survivor” with you, and enjoy playing games with you. You’ve been a champ with the braces on your teeth this year. You read faster than anyone I know and will re-read a book you just finished yesterday. You love horses, crafts of any kind, and writing stories. You’re smart and kind. You pay attention to everything and always have a plan.

I know I say it often when we pray before bed, but I’m so grateful God made me your mom and the five of us a family. I met you in that Indiana hospital room eleven years ago today, and I’m thankful that was only the beginning of your story that is so much my story too.

Happy birthday, my girl.

*****

You can read more about Cate’s story and our family’s story in my book, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is on sale through tomorrow, May 7.

And look back on Cate’s life through other birthday posts: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Baptism. Nine. Ten.