I woke up Sunday morning feeling hardened by disappointments and unmet expectations that had piled up in my mind. I spewed negativity toward my family as I held onto things that weren’t worth holding.
I almost backed out of a commitment because I wanted to hole up in my weariness. But I showered and dressed in record time and gathered my emotions along with all the things I needed to take to church that morning.
We went to serve at a local nursing home. I pushed Rachel around and encouraged her to say hi and blow kisses to people while the rest of my family pushed residents in wheelchairs to the church service in the dining hall. We sat through the church service and I was encouraged by the message of God’s faithfulness to meet us where we are.
I remembered my disappointed and unmet expectations were silly when there was a lady disoriented and lonely in the nursing home hallway. Her crying out for people who were no long with her drowned out my unnecessary worries. I realized I was blaming others for being selfish when really I needed to look inward.
I had to step out of my weary,
hardened ways to see the truth.
And then when we got to our church later that morning, we sang a song I hadn’t heard in years and I knew that one paragraph was for me.
“Take this bread, drink this cup
Know this price has pardoned you
From all that’s hardened you
But it’s going to take some trust”– From “Trust” by Smalltown Poets
Maybe it’s for you too.
Jesus paid the price so I don’t have to wallow in disappointment and unmet expectations. He’s promised an eternal home where we will all be the best versions of ourselves. So I loosened my grip on the grudges I was keeping and stopped keeping score. I let myself rest in the truth that God is for me and with me.
I’m thankful my hardened ways are softened and pardoned each and every day.
And, yes, I know it’s going to take some trust.
*****
In celebration of my birthday today (!!!) and my virtual porch expansion, I want to give away a goody bag to one of you. Really, I love planning parties and treat bags are one of my favorite parts. If you leave a comment on or link up with this post, you’ll be entered to win. Plus, there will be another entry possible in the #PorchStories Community on Facebook. If you haven’t already joined that group, I hope you will because it’s simply supposed to be a place to encourage each other as we swap stories.
I’ll randomly choose a giveaway winner on Tuesday, May 9.
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Happy Birthday, Kristin!!! May your day be filled with much joy and laughter! xo
Thank you, Joanne! xo
Happy birthday, Kristin! Today is my mom’s birthday, too. I hope you have a lovely, blessed day.
Oh that’s fun! I have a couple friends who share my birthday too.
FIRST and FOREMOST: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLESSINGS TO ONE OF MY FAVORITES! Secondly: we all get in that crappy mood, attitude now and then. Forgive yourself, ask forgiveness from your beloved family and MOVE ON! Sounds like you did that. FB group, I must go over there.
You’re the sweetest, really. Moving on is sometimes the hard part for me, but God has taught me a lot regarding forgiveness. I’m always glad to have you here.
Happy happy birthday. Kristin!! Great reminder that He has paid the price. And also how removing the focus from ourselves can place a different perspective on tough times. Thanks for sharing, friend!!
I can’t get that song out of my head! Thanks for being here with encouragement and birthday wishes, Mandy!
Happy Happy Happy Birthday! thanks so much for that beautiful quote… and a post everyone can relate to. I expect to post and linkup later today. Hugs for a fabulous year ahead!
Thanks, Leah! I’m always glad when you link up!
Oh I can relate to that feeling of wanting to hide out sometimes! Glad I stopped by today and saw your new link up. I love the new look! Happy Birthday!!
Thanks, Jennie! Now the Facebook group makes even more sense, huh? Glad you’re here … and there!
Happy Birthday Kristin! I’m sorry it’s been a rough patch – you’ve had a LOT going on. How wonderful that you pushed through and showed up to that nursing home even when you didn’t feel like it. I find that those are the times that God speaks so loud and clear to me. When I thought I didn’t have time to be there. Love how you are plugging along. Keep doing what you’re doing. You are having an impact on those around you.
Thanks for this exact encouragement, Melody. It’s good for me to hear. I’m glad you’re here!
Your revelation of not being “hardened” brought a focus on what the Lord has done for you. When I get outside of my selfish needs, I see others who are suffering, seeking a way to survive. It gives me God’s view of how to be compassionate and loving to those less fortunate and need encouragement for daily living. I want to focus on Jesus and keep growing in faith to enjoy God’s riches and His presence in a moment by moment way.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday and find joy and peace each day of the coming year.
It’s so true that being hardened blinds us to what’s beyond ourselves, which is exactly the opposite of what Jesus wants. I’m grateful for His grace that redirects me over and over again. Thank you, Kathy, for being here with that comment that is spurring me on.
Happy birthday! Thanks for sharing (words and goodies)!
Thank YOU for being here, Suzanne!
I missed stopping by here and boy what a surprise for the new #porchstories! I LOVE it! Happy birthday too! That sounds like a great song by the way. I have been here in this very place very recently too. God’s grace is needed + sufficient when we rely on him.
I’m glad you stopped by, Meghan! I’m so thankful for God’s grace too.
Happy birthday, Kristin! So glad you shared this story. I find myself in the place you describe more often than I’d like to admit. You are so right that coming outside of ourselves by looking to what others need and what Jesus has done is the remedy.
Thanks, Mandy! It’s good to see you here! xo
First, Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoyed your day and your new year is off to a great start.
Second, I loved this: “I showered and dressed in record time and gathered my emotions along with all the things I needed to take to church that morning.”
I know that weariness well, and you described how you moved through it beautifully!
Thanks, Becky! I’m glad you’re here.
I’m a day late, but happiest birthday to you. Thank you for sharing your heart for stewardship even on a grumbly, gray day. I have those too and yes, it takes trust and truth to draw our eyes off ourselves and place them back on Jesus. Sometimes also chocolate. Just sayin! 😉 Love you!
Thanks, Tiffany! Yes, chocolate helps in many situations. 🙂 Thanks for being here! xo