I read a verse the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s among verses about loving your enemies, but it certainly applies to anyone we encounter.
“Here is the simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them.”
I’m an initiator of plans. I invite people over and meet them for lunch. Quality time is my love language, hence my desire to get people on my calendar and disappointment when plans change.
But sometimes I get weary of being the initiator. Just recently I was feeling that way, and then a couple friends reached out even though I had no idea I was instigating an initiator pity party in my heart. I’ll take it as encourage from God to keep on doing what I’m doing because He goes with me.
And he wants us to go with peace.
Lisa-Jo Baker wrote about “shalom” in her coming-soon book “Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships.” This book is even better than I expected and I’m excited to share more of it with you.
But today I want to tell you about what she said about shalom, which is more than the absence of conflict. It’s interactive – and it’s used in the Bible more than 200 times. In her book, Baker quotes “What Is the Mission of the Church? Making Sense of Social Justice, Shalom and the Great Commission” by Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert. (I now have that book awaiting me on my Kindle.)
“The kind of shalom we’re challenged to give to the people around us requires us to take an active interest in their physical and spiritual well-being. … In addition to caring deeply about seeing conflict come to an end, shalom is passionately invested in seeking the well-being of others – other people, other places and cultures and neighbors. … Shalom is a radical word that challenges us to wake up from our obsession with ourselves and instead start the deliberate choice of focusing on the people around us …”
– Lisa-Jo Baker in “Never Unfriended”
God’s been doing a new thing around here through our small group that has a mission to serve our local community. These words about the peace that comes when we think of others before ourselves strikes me deeply because it’s the foundation of so many other things.
The ripples of truly caring about
the people around us are everlasting.
And I’m guessing we’ll be changed in the process too. Because that’s how God works. He doesn’t waste moments or relationships. He uses it all – for His glory and our good. But we certainly aren’t going to get there alone.
“We can see people as a source of influence, prominence, cool, or competition. Or we can see them as family, sisters, fellow pilgrims on the journey as we try to make sense of the everyday Tuesdays and Sundays and sadness and celebration. But we can’t do both. We can either love them or compete with them. We can either champion them or condemn them. We can either accept them or try to change them. We can either love them for who they are or try to twist them into our own image. But we can’t do both.”
– Lisa-Jo Baker in “Never Unfriended”
So let’s grab initiative and let’s bring peace to whoever is near.
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Welcome, faithful #ThreeWordWednesday friends. I’ve got a little news about the weekly linkup to share. To better go along with the community happening here, the new name is Porch Stories.
I hope you love it. And I hope you continue gathering on my virtual porch so we can swap stories. You’re invited to show up with your stories about your real lives, where you’re meeting God and learning truth. You’re invited to encourage others and make friends. There’s room for you and your faith-filled stories here.
As you share posts from the linkup, use #PorchStories and be sure to update your blog button with the new code on the sidebar. Feel free to linger awhile and bring a friend along.
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I did receive an advanced copy of “Never Unfriended” by Lisa-Jo Baker as a member of the launch team, but the opinions I shared here are my own – and you’re going to hear more about this book because I’m loving it. You can preorder it here or learn more about it at its own beautiful, new website.
Kristin, I have been catching glimpses of this book here and there. It is definitely on my “to read” list which just keeps on growing lately. The second quote on how we view people is powerful and one I will be thinking on today. It is always good to join you on your porch!
My to-read list is so long … but this is one that’s speaking quite deeply into my life. Thanks for being here with faithful encouragement, Joanne!
Love the changed name, because well… I LOVE the idea of sitting with you on the porch. I am an initiator too, though my introvert nature always pulls me to the side and lets other people take the lead or be the connector. It is uncomfortable to always be the initiator and it is tiring. But one thing I think we were all made to do was initiate grace wherever we are. And I needed these words this morning for an upcoming conversation that I will be having. 😉 Thank you!
Blessings,
Dawn
I’d love to have you on my real-life porch sometime, Dawn! You encourage me so well and spur me on toward grace. I’m praying for the conversation yo uhave to have and hope you know God is present with you.
I love how you keep changing your approach and trying new things here. Blessings to you as your porch fills up with lovely people and warm conversation.
It’s like a take one step and God shows me which other steps to take and, of course, it’s all working together just like he does over and over again. Glad you’re here, Michele!
I’ve got Lisa-Jo’s book on my Kindle; trying to finish two other books first! Love the new badge and linkup name. It’s perfect!
It’s such a good book. Thanks for always being here, Susan! xo
I love the new link up name!!!
I also love Lisa Jo’s new book! I could not put it down! I will be writing about it really soon over on my blog. It’s definitely a must read!
I also love how you talk about being the one who initiates and how sometimes you just want someone else to initiate in return. I get it! I am the exact same way. Sometimes I feel like if I didn’t reach out, make plans, etc. I would never see/hear from anyone.
Oh, I’m pretty sure I’ll write about it more. I just couldn’t shake these thoughts. I’m glad you’re here, and I’m looking forward to the day we get to hang out in real life … on a porch somewhere! I’ll initiate that one, friend! xo
Yay! and even a new button that still features a wonderful porch swing! Back in a while… congrats on the new feature for this new season of spring!
Spring seems like a good time for something new & fresh. Thanks for being here, Leah!
LOVE this — thinking about shalom in this new way has been such a game changer for me too! Thank you for sharing!
It’s one of those message that keeps creeping in my life from all directions – which is really cool and beneficial because God knows I need repetition. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by here, Lisa-Jo!
I love this! So exciting to see how God develops ideas!
Thank you, Becky!
Ooh I love it..gathering on your porch and swapping stories. I wish we could do that in real life. I’ll have to add Lisa Jo’s new book to my to read pile. Shalom is how I want to live and be transformed too. What a beautiful definition you shared.
It’s really rocking my world, in a good way. I’m glad you’re on my porch here, and it would be delightful in real life. Thanks for your faithfulness to show up here, Tara!
I’m such an initiator too, Kristen. In fact, I’ve had to let some friendship go because my efforts were received with indifference, which is truly heartbreaking. But God has also brought those friends into my life who see and value my willingness to not give up. It’s such a fine balance though, isn’t it? Knowing when to keep going and when to throw in the towel.
And, I’m so excited for porch stories. Someday I’d love to sit on one with you and share ours!! Hugs.
Oh, yes, it’s such a fine line. Thanks for being real and faithfully showing up around here. I really do hope we get a chance to talk face to face, on a porch, or wherever works! xo
I adore the new link up name! I’m all about swapping stories, cheering for the good and hugging through the bad. I look forward to coming back to share stories week after week 🙂
Thank you, Katie! I love having you and your stories here. xo