“We will sing to our souls
We won’t bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There’s a red sea roadWhen we can’t see the way
He will part the waves
And we’ll never walk alone
Down a red sea road …”{From “Red Sea Road” by Ellie Holcomb}
I’ve been taking steroids for a couple weeks {um, go away, Poison Ivy} and they’re doing all kinds of things while gradually drying up the rashes on my stomach and arms. Like making me hungry and restless and irritable … and wrecking my blood sugar levels … and making me thirsty. So thirsty.
While running errands before picking up the kids from school Tuesday afternoon, I drank water & Diet Dr Pepper. And then I sat in the pickup line and decided I could wait until I got home {22 minutes later} to use the bathroom.
Except then I couldn’t.
So I stopped at the only gas station directly between school and my house. I hauled all three kids in the gas station, which also is a burger & milkshake restaurant.
When we rapidly approached the single restrooms in the back, I gave Rachel, who wasn’t wearing shoes because she took them off {again} to Cate AND GOT IN LINE. At 3:20 p.m., this rural gas station/restaurant had a line.
Grandpa was waiting for his wife and trying to convince Granddaughter it was okay to use the boys’ bathroom because they were single stalls and she could lock the door. She was having none of that so my son jetted past them for his turn. When he came out, Grandma was still in the girls’ restroom, so I made sure Granddaughter really wanted nothing to do with the boys’ side, and went on in.
And then we ordered two milkshakes to go.
Of course the story doesn’t end here. I first accidentally tried to pay for the milkshakes with my health savings account and debit card pin. Um, no match. I pulled out another card, and inserted it in the chip reader.
I signed the receipt. Each big kid took a milkshake they were going to share with Rachel and me.
And we walked out.
I was wrangling my shoeless toddler into the car seat when another customer graciously brought me the credit card I had left in the chip reader machine.
At least I had all my kids, an afternoon treat, and a relieved bladder. Five minutes later we were home and I drank some chocolate milkshake.
The story continued into Wednesday evening. After a busy afternoon of parent-teacher conferences and hauling supplies and furnishings out to our lake house, where a renovation is almost finished in time for me to host a retreat there this weekend, we needed a quick, convenient dinner. So back to the gas station restaurant we went.
We sat down, enjoyed our dinner, used the correct restrooms, and didn’t order milkshakes this time because the machine was down. Good thing we’d made that pit stop the day before!
*****
This is just a peek into my week. There have been plenty of other moments that would usher you right into my imperfect but blessed life. And those same moments have ushered me right to God, who thankfully sits upon his throne and over my life.
When I looked at my calendar and to-do lists {because, yes, I had more than one …} on Monday, I was overwhelmed. But I just did what I could do. One thing at a time. The next thing when I could. And the overwhelming feeling was replaced with peace.
Then plans changed and I shopped online instead of running even more errands. The delivery guy asked if he could come to the lake house a day and a half early. {Yes, please!} Friends offered grace. My generous mother-in-law offered her usual help.
Spaces on my calendar freed up. My perspective changed so I could see life full of blessings and not a series of emergencies. I knew attempting to do it all couldn’t be an option.
I’ve had to apologize to my husband and my kids because between the steroids {go away, Poison Ivy} and the overwhelmed start to the week I certainly wasn’t the best version of me.
But I am me. And I’m not God.
But God is with me and for me. And you too.
He really does have the whole world in His hands and makes a way for us. So let the fear and worry go. Give up the do-it-all expectations. Let someone help. Say no if you need the space. Say yes if you need the grace.
And turn on Ellie Holcomb’s latest album. Every single song will offer hope and truth. And that’s the kind of soundtrack my life needs this week – and pretty much every other day.
*****
I’d love you to share some of your own real-life confessions in the comments.
Oh, Kristin… I had stopped to catch up on all the posts I wanted to read and I read this one first before going on to the next one. I love this.. ” But I am me… I am not God.” It is such a good response when we are not the best versions of us.
That was me this weekend… a little harried because of that unfinished to-do list.:)
Ellie Holcomb… yes! She makes me have a better day, too!
Blessings,
Dawn
I’m glad you understand. And I’m glad you’re here!