Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
    • Peace in the Process
    • Bringing Home More Than Groceries
  • Contact

Prepare & wait {on adoption next steps}

November 9, 2016 by Kristin 14 Comments

adoption-now-what-11-9-16

We want to adopt, so now what?

It’s a question people have asked me many times. I don’t have all the answers, but I love being able to share information with families who desire to grow their family in this way. I’m answering the “now what?” question for those who want to adopt.

{Not everyone is called to adopt, but there are reasons adoption & orphan awareness should matter to everyone.}

I’ll start with a disclaimer that many typical adoptions aren’t typical. Adoption is relational – so it involves people, and their emotions. Yes, it involves a family desiring to adopt and a woman choosing adoption for the baby she’s carrying, but it also involves the child, birth families, adoptive family relatives, social workers, attorneys, hospital nurses and staff, court workers, and probably others. So when you put that many people together, it’s typical that things may not look like you expect.

1. Consider what kind of adoption you’re going to pursue.

Domestic or international is the first decision. If you’re thinking international, there’s criteria for each country and come countries are more stable than others. If you’re thinking domestic, you can go about that a few different ways: An agency can facilitate the process, including doing your home study, training, and match with a birth mom. Private adoptions involve social workers and attorneys, but you wouldn’t use an agency to connect with a birth mom. Then there’s the foster system. Depending on your domestic adoption route, you could have a closed, semi-open, or open relationship with the biological family.

I’ll go ahead and tell you when we started pursuing adoption, we knew nothing. I was burnt out from a hard, emotional season of infertility and wanted a break from appointments. So we told people we wanted to adopt, but we didn’t officially pursue an agency or any official route. Then an open, private adoption fell in our laps – thanks, God! – so that’s what did. We loved it so much we ended up – again, thanks be to God! – doing it two more times.

If you’re new here, we have three kids – Cate is 9, Ben is almost 7, and Rachel is 1. We met Cate’s birth mom through my sister and she delivered in Indiana, so this domestic adoption also involved the Interstate Compact Act. Ben and Rachel were born in our hometown. We met Ben’s birth mom through our attorney friend and Rachel’s birth mom through a local friend. We went to appointments with their birth moms and were there when each of them were born. I have relationships with each birth mom still, although each one is different and has changed with time.

Private adoptions can look like ours or they can also involve having a profile book of your family on file with an adoption attorney or, in some areas, a pregnancy crisis center.

2. Get a home study done.

Regardless of what kind of adoption you pursue or end up finding yourself in the midst of, you’ll need a home study. This is also the mountain of paperwork you’ve probably heard about: birth certificates, medical information, financial records, background checks, answers to questions about why you desire to adopt, and whatever other blanks need to filled, Ts crossed and Is dotted. The home study process also includes home visits from a social worker, but this doesn’t need to be stressful because they’re just making sure you have a place to house and raise a child. They will not look in your drawers or inspect the dust bunnies under your couch.

Now, some agencies do home studies and placements, but there are also agencies that do home studies and then refer clients to placement agencies. With international adoption, most agencies that facilitate these processes work with specific countries and not every open country.

3. Prepare and wait.

Once you’re into the process, there are many hurry-up-and-wait moments. You’ll need to get things done, only to wait to be matched or connected with a birth mom or child. You’ll be connected, but then wait on more paperwork and on birth or travel to actually bring your child home.

“So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God.”

– Hosea 12:6 ESV

I looked up “wait” after reading that verse recently and the definition from Blue Letter Bible reminded me about adoption: “Look for, hope, expect, to collect and bind together.” Seasons of waiting are part of life. We’re always waiting on someone or something.

Pursing adoption certainly involves waiting on so many variables out of our control. But God wants us to wait for him continually – over and over again. We wait to bring that baby home, but, really, we wait and expect God to show up once He’s collected us into a family too.

*****

Kristin Hill Taylor - 3 Word Wednesday
 Loading InLinkz ...
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: adoption, Three Word Wednesday Tagged With: faith

Comments

  1. Michele Morin says

    November 9, 2016 at 7:34 am

    I have so much respect for those who follow through on their calling to adopt a child. Thanks for sharing your vision and your journey so faithfully.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 11:09 am

      It certainly is a calling. And those of us who have adopted are grateful for people like you encourage us. Thanks for being here, Michele!

      Reply
  2. Melody says

    November 9, 2016 at 9:59 am

    Great practical information for those starting the process. I still laugh at the thought of me filling out ALL our paperwork in one day. Randy came home from work and I had sticky notes for where he was to sign. He said, “Oh wow, I thought it would take a week or two to do all this.” Ha!

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 11:10 am

      One day is impressive for real. 🙂 I’m glad adoption is one of the things we can connect about.

      Reply
  3. Debbie says

    November 9, 2016 at 10:10 am

    Kristin thanks for sharing your story.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 11:11 am

      You’re welcome! Thanks for being here, Debbie!

      Reply
  4. Susan Shipe says

    November 9, 2016 at 10:43 am

    Kristin, my sister placed her baby for adoption in 1964 – things were so very different back then. Open, private adoptions were not available for most girls but if they had been our family dynamic would have been immensely different. Paula found “us” at 40+ years old because of a letter my sister placed in the file folder of the organization she went through. Our story has a happy ending but so many do not.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 11:12 am

      I love that y’all were able to reconnect with her. Every adoption story is different, that’s for sure!

      Reply
  5. Tiffany Parry says

    November 9, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    So great that you can share your insight and experience to encourage others on their own journey. I love how God has knit your family together so beautifully. xo

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 11:12 am

      Thanks, Tiffany! You know it’s my favorite story to tell. 🙂 xoxo

      Reply
  6. Joanne Viola says

    November 10, 2016 at 6:34 am

    Kristin, so much information and wisdom in this post which is sure to encourage and help others. Amazing to think how God sets all of us into our families, whether through birth or adoption. Beautiful to think on.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 11:13 am

      It really is true God knits together our families just as they need to be, even when that looks so different for each family. I love it. And, yes, it’s a beautiful thing to ponder. Thanks for your encouragement, today and always.

      Reply
  7. Tara says

    November 10, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Thank You friend! I am bookmarking and saving to read more slowly when I have more time.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      November 10, 2016 at 8:07 pm

      You’re so welcome. You know I’m happy to talk anytime too. 🙂

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let’s Connect

  • Bloglovin
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our ninth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear sixth-grade boy, and our joy-filled kindergarten girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

Subscribe for Updates

Recent Posts

  • Books of 2022 … so far
  • Helping adopted teens belong
  • Laundry talk
  • Brave Ben & his broken heel
  • Fifteen

#PorchStories button

Join the Conversation

Join the Conversation

On Instagram

We are having fun — and some forced sibling love We are having fun — and some forced sibling love — at @wildernessresort in Wisconsin Dells. We’ve played at four water parks here since we arrived yesterday afternoon. 💦

#WildernessWI #WeAreFamily #WildernessResort #roadtrip #88daysofsummer #TeamTaylor #reallife #wisconsin #wisconsindells
Nothing like starting a road trip by finishing an Nothing like starting a road trip by finishing an @elinhilderbrand book. I’d held off reading “Winter in Paradise” because the premise that a father’s death exposes his secret life hits way too close to home. But, really, fiction books can be therapeutic. 

I appreciated the raw emotions of a wife, two brothers, and others learning of tragedy and processing the ripples of that moment. Of course, who doesn’t love a story set in the U.S. Virgin Islands? AND it’s this the first in a three-book series, and I’ve got the next two ready to go on my Kindle. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #booklover #kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite #roadtrip
My kids had a yearbook signing party today. And ki My kids had a yearbook signing party today. And kids today don’t know how to sign yearbooks. Cate, my rising sophomore, says it’s because they have phones to take photos and text each other. She’s probably right. 

But the whole conversation and experience took me down memory lane. So much so, I got these yearbooks from my high school days off my bookshelf and read notes. Admittedly, I can’t remember a few people who proclaimed what a great friend I was and I never called some people who wanted to KIT — that’s Keep In Touch, kids — and left their phone numbers (and pager number in one instance!)! 🤣 

I also proceeded to text the three friends (well, really, five, because two girls married two guy friends of mine) with whom I do actually KIT. I have their numbers saved in my iPhone, thankfully. We have made grown-up memories together. We message and try to see each other. My husband knows their maiden names. 

Truly, how has it been 25 years since I graduated from Oldham County High School? I’m sitting on the porch now, rememebering how faithful God has been and thinking about how high school seems like a lifetime ago but also like yesterday. 💙

HAGS, everybody! 

#memorylane #highschool #livingfaithfully #yearbooks #choosingJOY #reallife
Cat nap! 💕 #catsofinstagram #thirdchild #napt Cat nap! 💕 

#catsofinstagram #thirdchild #naptimeshenanigans #PorchStories #reallife #88daysofsummer #summerisbest
A weekend mostly at home meant I read this domesti A weekend mostly at home meant I read this domestic thriller. I’ve always seen @diane.chamberlain.author’s books, but this was the first one I read. I’ve already downloaded others to my Kindle. 

Living with a secret is all Eve Elliot knows. Her life unravels when she confesses to what she knows and there are ripple effects for her husband and two daughters. I thought I had it all figured out and then there was another surprise right at the end! 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite #booklover #weekending
Little fish 🐠 big pool 💦 happy place ☀️ Little fish 🐠 big pool 💦 happy place ☀️

#poolpeople #thirdchild #88daysofsummer #choosingJOY #PorchStories #weekending #momlife
Well, COVID has changed our vacation plans. Honest Well, COVID has changed our vacation plans. Honestly, it’s hard to believe two-plus years later, and COVID is still interrupting all kinds of things. I know it’s a privilege to travel, but there’s still disappointment. Regardless, we can’t board a cruise ship in Canada on Monday to go to Alaska when my boy tested positive for COVID last night. (Yes, twice. 🤦🏻‍♀️)

But the real point of this post: we are regrouping and going to Wisconsin Dells next week. I’m excited to see somewhere new, even if it’s not what I’d been planning. Let’s be honest, the logistics to get to the cruise were already a lot, so maybe this closer-to-home trip is meant to be right now. 

Anyway, who has been to Wisconsin Dells area? We found a condo and have a list of things going, but I’m accepting all entertainment and restaurant recommendations.

#wisconsindells #reallife #covid_19 #covid #momlife #88daysofsummer #summervacation
I don’t really want to get into an abortion deba I don’t really want to get into an abortion debate here, but I will always champion the unborn, advocate for life, and support mothers and families. When I say “choose life,” I mean in and out of the womb. Choosing life begins with not having an abortion, but it continues to advocating for adoption, foster care, support for moms in lots of different situations. 

Western Kentucky is blessed with resources that do this, including @lifehousemurray in Murray and @_hopecenter in Mayfield. Those are great places to send your money and diapers, recommend to moms expecting or raising little ones, and keep in your prayers. 

If you know someone fostering, we have Partners In Care Foster Closet that offers clothes and supplies to western Kentucky foster families. No strings attached. 

I will forever be an open book about adoption, so I’ll be happy to talk about that with anyone who desires to know more. I even wrote a book about our adoption stories: bit.ly/PeaceInTheProcess #linkinbio 

My three kids have life because three women chose it for them. Those decisions changed my life for the better, and that’s only one piece of a much bigger story. 

#prolife #chooselife #adoptionislove #momlife #authorlife #livingfaithfully #PeaceInTheProcess #reallife #unplannedpregnancy #adoption #family #sisters #siblinglove #currentevents #roevwade #lifematters
Here we are halfway through the year, and so far I Here we are halfway through the year, and so far I've read 40 books. That pace is well beyond my usual number for the year. Last year I read 62 total. I don't join challenges, plan what I'm going to read next, or even have a goal. But I still love keeping track. 

Some things to know about my reading habits: I like actual books, but I've been reading often on my waterproof Kindle Paperwhite. I introduced audiobooks into my life this year and especially enjoyed some memoirs while I was driving around while the kids were in school. I will quit books if I can't get into them, and I've done that a few times this year. I almost always have a book (or books, hello, Kindle) with me, you know, just in case I happen upon some time to read. Here are some other tips for making time for books and reading more.

Today #ontheblog I'm sharing the list of the 40 books I've read so far this year. #linkinbio What else do I need to read this year?

#KHTreads #bookstagram #booklover #kindlebooks #librarybooks #bloggerlife #amreading #favoritethings #choosingJOY
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Favorites

Categories

Archives

Copyright © 2022 Kristin Hill Taylor | Design by Traci Michele | Development by MRM