Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
    • Peace in the Process
    • Bringing Home More Than Groceries
  • Contact

Things I Wish I’d Known

October 17, 2016 by Kristin 10 Comments

things-i-wish-id-known-10-17-16

My son doesn’t like most casseroles or soups. He likes to sleep with a lamp on and wake up before anyone else in the house. He’s loud when he’s happy and has more energy than anyone I know. My oldest daughter likes to sleep in the pitch dark, wake up last, and wait hours in the morning before eating breakfast. She talks fast and includes any detail you could possibly ever considering wanting to know in her stories. My baby girl likes milk right before bedtime, loves sleeping in the car, and eats anything we give her. I’m sure she’s going to have plenty to add to the conversations around here once she starts talking!

Children are little people. People have personalities, therefore kids do too. They have opinions and likes and dislikes. As parents, we need to realize that and work with who they are as people.

Y’all, this was a hard one for me to realize, even for as simple as it sounds. And I still fail some days because, well, this momma’s personality wants to be in control! But their opinions are among the things I wish I’d thought about before I actually became a mom.

I also didn’t think much about how our children are mirrors – even when they’re adopted and don’t share any genetic makeup of us! How we behave and what we say is often repeated by our little ones.

And, wow, if that’s not convicting, I don’t know what is! Even so, it’s taking me so long to make some necessary adjustments and, yes, I’m still working on other things!

Ah, parenting. Are we really ever prepared?!

“Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents” by Gary Chapman with Shannon Warden is a good resource for people preparing for parenthood. Really, it’s the kind of book I wished I’d read a decade ago. (My oldest is 9 ½ years old!)

I appreciated how this book was written in conversational tone and included perspectives from both someone who has raised children (Gary Chapman) and someone who is in the process (Shannon Warden). Each chapter includes questions and prompts to think and talk about before you’re in the everyday grind of parenting.

The authors cover plenty of everyday challenges parents face: bringing home baby, sleeping, boundaries, potty training, chores, screens, social skills, academics, emotional health, disobedience, conflicts, and expectations. Yes, parenting is about raising people, but this book also talks about self-care, parents’ growth, and marriages.

Even though I’m almost a decade into parenting, I stopped reading multiple times to reflect on where I am in parenting now and how I can do better.

The chapter on apologizing was excellent – both to teach children how and why to apologize as well as how as parents we’ll need to offer our children apologies. I actually incorporated some of that information into a recent conversation with my son.

“The good news is that our failures need not destroy our relationships if we are willing to apologize and they are willing to forgive. Apologizing and forgiving are essential to maintaining good relationships. Children need to learn these skills because they too will not be perfect.”

– From “Things I Wished I’d Known Before We Became Parents“

A section on page 113 asked parents to reflect on whether they’d be happy or sad if their children grow up to handle anger, conflict, and money the way they do; drive a car like they do; have a similar relationship with God; and treat in-laws and children like they do. That section was provoked many thoughts and reflections from me.

So, yeah, there are things I wish I’d known before I became a mom, but I’m glad there are always opportunities to learn and change – both for the kids and their parents!

About the book

In “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents,” Chapman and Warden share wisdom gained from raising their own children and from the many families they’ve counseled through the years.

This 208-page paperback was published by Northfield Publishing (Sept. 6, 2016).

About the authors

Dr. Gary Chapman is an author, speaker, and counselor who has a passion for people and helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages and the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He and his wife have two children and several grandchildren.

Dr. Shannon Warden is an assistant teaching professor at Wake Forest University, where she teaches in the graduate counseling program. She is also the director of counseling and director of women’s ministries at Triad Baptist Church in Kernersville, NC. As a professional counselor, Shannon has counseled children, families, young adults, women, and couples since 1998 and has served as an assistant to Dr. Gary Chapman since 2003. She and her husband have three children.

Giveaway

And I’ve got a copy for one of you! Just use the Rafflecopter widget to enter the giveaway through Sunday, Oct. 23. I’ll announce a winner on Monday, Oct. 24.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*****

I received a free copy of this book from Northfield Publishing/Side Door Communications, which is also providing the copy for the giveaway winner, in exchange for a review. These opinions are my own.

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: books Tagged With: giveaway, parenting, review

Comments

  1. Michele Morin says

    October 17, 2016 at 7:51 am

    Sounds like a great book, and I sure do know that feeling of, “Wow, I wish I’d known that when . . .”
    Parenting adult children, teens, and now — loving a grandboy! — I feel as if I’m still learning all the time. Relationships are so complex, and yet so wonderful. I’m sure God smiles at my efforts to “figure things out.” He knows it will take a lifetime!

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      October 17, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Oh, yes, the seasons are always changing! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by here today, Michele!

      Reply
  2. Allie says

    October 17, 2016 at 8:51 am

    I “screenshot” this when you posted a few days ago, I want to tsee ad for sure!

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      October 17, 2016 at 8:58 am

      It’s a good one! Glad you’re here!

      Reply
  3. Shelley Street Byrne says

    October 17, 2016 at 10:02 am

    I’m looking forward to reading this book. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      October 17, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      You’re welcome!

      Reply
  4. Becca says

    October 18, 2016 at 7:43 am

    Hey Kristin!
    Thanks for the recommendation. I have heard of his book about marriage but not this one! I wish I had known how human I am… What I mean is, I never thought I would have to pray for patience with a 6 week old, or a 3 month old, etc. But man, I am selfish and want what I want and sometimes get frustrated even at a baby that won’t sleep when I think he should. Hopefully that makes sense 🙂
    -Becca
    p.s. Not even sure if I’m eligible to win this time but happy to follow along regardless! 🙂

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      October 18, 2016 at 7:53 am

      I hadn’t heard of his marriage or parenting books until recently, so I was glad I was able to review this one! Oh, yes, nothing like parenting to bring out all the ways I want to be in control! (And I’m happy for you to enter because this prize is coming from a different promotions company!) Thanks for being here, Becca!

      Reply
  5. Kathy Scott says

    October 18, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    I am now a grandmother and wish I’d read something like this book. Now with four grandchildren, the youngest 1 1/2 and the oldest, nearly 8, I want to read and give to my daughter-in-law to help with the difficulties in each stage of their children’s lives.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      October 18, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      That’s sweet you’re thinking about how to help your daughter. I’m glad you entered to win!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let’s Connect

  • Bloglovin
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our ninth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear sixth-grade boy, and our joy-filled kindergarten girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

Subscribe for Updates

Recent Posts

  • Fifteen
  • Help kids have healthy eating habits
  • How to organize your home
  • Let’s come before the throne
  • 3 Ways to Enhance Kids’ Cognitive Skills

#PorchStories button

Join the Conversation

Join the Conversation

On Instagram

Old friends and live music are two of my favorite Old friends and live music are two of my favorite things, so having them together is the best. My friend Aaron and I went to multiple Dave Matthews Band shows together during our college years, so now two decades later it’s fun to do it again as grown ups with our spouses for a band that speaks truth into our lives. 

@needtobreathe put on the loudest acoustic tour I’ve ever seen, but it sure was good! And its encore of completely unplugged songs was especially sweet. 

#NTBlive #needtobreathe #bettertogether #choosingJOY #favoritethings #livingfaithfully #weekending
Happiness is … … a slow morning that gave me Happiness is …

… a slow morning that gave me a chance to finish reading a good book right after I fixed my favorite cinnamon toast. 

… some shade to invite me to pick some more weeds around the house. But why doesn’t my Apple Watch count this as exercise? It felt like exercise to me! 

… an appointment with my oldest girl for us both to get our nails done this morning. 

… my youngest girl’s last soccer game of the season, even though the heat made her a little grumpy. 

… pool time, another good book to read, my mom visiting for the second weekend in a row, a little more weeding, and a night at home with no specific plans. 

Happiness is everyday, normal life with my people, especially when it comes with a slower pace after a hectic week. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #soccermom #KHTreads #momlife #weekending #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #poolpeople #PorchStories
I regretted having to go to sleep last night befor I regretted having to go to sleep last night before I finished this book, so I picked it up at breakfast and didn’t do anything else until I finished it. 

I loved the Alaskan cruise setting, the quick love and understanding between Greta and Ben, and the realistic ways grief changes people. Well done, @jenniferesmith! 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #kindlebooks #booklover #kindlepaperwhite #reallife #weekending #recommendedreads #poolpeople #amreading
Happy Friday! 🎉 We’ve got four more days of s Happy Friday! 🎉 We’ve got four more days of school next week and then it’s #88daysofsummer! Obviously, we’re ready. ☀️ 

Here’s to a refreshing weekend with much anticipation of what’s to come! #weekending #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #thirdchild #momlife #summerisbest #poolpeople #PorchStories #maydays
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I’ve already bou ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve already bought three copies of “Glad You’re Here: Two Unlikely Friends Breaking Bread and Fences” by @walkerhayes and @craigallencooper to gift to specific friends. I’ve referenced this story in conversations this week and will likely recommended it for years to come. 

This story is about two seemingly different guys befriending each other because their kids were on the same baseball team and their wives became friends. They kept showing for each other, encouraged each other, and changed each other for the better. In fact, their friendship was the catalyst for Walker deciding to follow Christ. 

Give me Applebee’s on a date night, a real-life story of how we are eternally better together, and an audiobook that makes me want to drive and I’m a happy girl. I’m fancy like that. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #bettertogether #livingfaithfully #hospitalitymatters #audiobooks #booklover #favoritethings
I’m majorly behind on laundry, dishes, emails, a I’m majorly behind on laundry, dishes, emails, and to-do lists. Birthdays, a field trip, end-of-school things, squeezing in some friend dates, and just general life with three kids have occupied much of my time. But my friend @whitneyrscott at @blushsalon did tend to their shaggy hairs. So check! 

#momlife #reallife #girlmom #boymom #maydays #siblinglove #livingfaithfully
What I’m wearing … I don’t wear in jewelry, What I’m wearing …

I don’t wear in jewelry, but I love having bracelets that mean things to me. 

Today my friend Monica and I talked to our oldest daughters’ high school health class about adoption. My other friend @megandelaneythomas invited us because she recently taught about the reproductive system and wanted the class to hear about adoption as an option. We talked about adoption as a process, redemption to broken circumstances, and picture of God grafting us into his family. We shared resources and advice on counseling for abortion, befriending people who have made different relationships choices, and parenting regardless of how God builds a family. 

I left that high school health class thankful for @ncca.lions and the opportunities my kids have had to learn about real things in the context of the gospel. I’m also grateful for this adoption bond Monica and I share with our kids who are the same ages. I’ve always said, adoption is relational to its core, far beyond just bringing a baby home. That circle widened a little today, and I’m glad to welcome others into pieces of our story. 

Also, how fun are these bracelets @katie_cunningham85 gave me last week for my birthday? Today seemed like the perfect time to wear them along with my Romans 8:28 reminder — “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Things working together for the good in Christ doesn’t mean easy or convenient. But it does mean all the details and relationships matter. I’m forever grateful for how God built my faith and my family through adoption. Wearing these sweet reminders is good for my soul. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #adoptionislove #adoption #PeaceInTheProcess #authorlife #bettertogether #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY #momlife #firstborn #girlmom #boymom #reallife @scott_monica_bidwell
Another new book from a popular author that was ex Another new book from a popular author that was excellent! @harlancoben is a great suspense writer, and this is among his best in my opinion. It picked up with an old character and references another character from another book. But this story is well done even without those details. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #booklover #kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite
I’ve read many @lisascottoline books, and this o I’ve read many @lisascottoline books, and this one is definitely at the top of my list. I didn’t know much about it going in, but I especially loved the WITSEC portion of the storyline and the suspense that unfolded about what happened to the Bennetts. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #kindlepaperwhite #booklover
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Favorites

Categories

Archives

Copyright © 2022 Kristin Hill Taylor | Design by Traci Michele | Development by MRM

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.