I’m a pro at fake-resting.
Sure, I sit down sometimes, but I have my calendar, mental to-do list, and phone near me. Maybe I’m folding laundry or making a grocery list. I pretty much always have thoughts racing through my mind – dinner plans, items I need to put away when I get up and walk through the living room, and conversations I want to have.
I hear people say they are bored and I honestly can’t remember being bored. I can always find something to do – chores are constant, hobbies wait for my attention, and plans can be made for people. I do like to sleep at night. I used to struggle to turn my mind off, and some nights still do, but as I loosen my grip on details, I rest easier.
But I don’t like naps. Probably because I’m a fake-resting pro.
The notion of fake-resting is something that has been on my mind since I read Shauna Niequist’s “Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic For a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living.” This book spoke so much truth and encouragement into my life. I love when a book comes alongside what’s already happening in life and affirms what God is already saying.
“It looks like I’m resting, too. But I’m not. I’m ticking down an endless list, sometimes written, always mental, getting things back into their right spots, changing the laundry, wiping down the countertops. … I fake-rested instead of real-rested, and then I found that I was real-tired.”
{Shauna Niequist in “Present Over Perfect”}
I continually have to lay down the idol of productivity. I have to remember everything doesn’t have to be done before noon on Monday. I have to let go of expectations and plans. I have to leave room for life to unfold, conversations to happen, and opportunities to arise. And I have to listen to the right voices when this world is so noisy.
In her book, Shauna Niequist asked some questions that spoke right into the center of my productivity-worshiping, perfectionist-recovering ways:
“Who wins, then? I handled it all! I showed them! But who is ‘them’? Who cares? Whose voice am I listening to? What am I trying to prove? What would happen, what would be lost, if I stopped, or if I slowed down to a pace that felt less like a high-speed chase all day, every day?”
A jam-packed schedule may allow me to be more productive, but it also makes me restless and irritable. {Tweet that.} I crave white space. Sometimes I fill it and sometimes I sit in the recliner while Rachel finishes her nap.
This past week I spent some time organizing the stuff that has been sitting on our deck for the past ELEVEN WEEKS waiting for its home in the garage that is being remodeled. I put summer toys in a bin, sorted trash and tools, and wiped down dirty outdoor doors. Then when I was finished my agenda was clear. So I sat in the porch swing. I made faces at Rachel. I took pictures of my kids in my hammock they like to claim. I rested my eyes. I lost track of time.
And I rested my soul. Real rested.
Each day is different. Some days involve more work, but some days give way to rest. I’m learning more and more that both are necessary to my well-being and those closest to me.
*****
I’m sharing about “Present Over Perfect” because it’s been exactly what I needed to hear. Nobody asked me review it or share it. But I do highly recommend it. And you’re likely to hear more about it here.
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I am loving this new site. Going to get a cuppa and come back for a serious browse-through.
Thanks! 🙂 I have a giveaway happening on a post from earlier this week, so you should definitely go look at that one!
Shauna Niequist writes in a way that makes me think. I have loved her books. This one has been in my sights since I first heard mention of it. In recent weeks, I am learning how much I need times of quiet in my life. I think it may be time to start my Christmas wish list and put the two books you have reviewed this week 🙂
These two books have spoke deeply into my life. In some ways, their messages are intertwined. They should both definitely make your wish list. 🙂 Glad you’re here, and glad you entered the other giveaway! xoxo
This is so true for me: “I continually have to lay down the idol of productivity.” I’m going to have to check out this book and deal with my “fake resting”. Your words are always so gentle yet powerful. Haven’t been writing or linking for a while. Feels good to be back here. 🙂
Thanks, Karen! I’m glad to see you back. I’m just settling back into a somewhat normal schedule after a crazy but fun summer!
Kristin this new site is comfy and pretty. Thanks for sharing that book. It sounds like something this “never bored” girl could glean something.
I have learned to love life and put down all those to-dos and goals when someone I love calls for me to do something fun.
Hooray for finding fun! I’m getting better at it too. 🙂 And thanks for your kind words about my site – comfy and pretty is exactly what I hoped for! Glad you’re here, Debbie!
Oh, my! I’ve never used that particular term before, but it’s definitely what I do! Thanks for calling us out on it, today!
I’ve never thought of rest in terms of fake vs. real, but I certainly know about fake-rest in my own life! Thanks for being here, Michele!
I have this book on hold at the library and I’m waiting (slightly patiently) for it to be my turn. I think it’s a woman/mom thing to constantly have thoughts rushing through our brains when we should be focused on the present moment. I can barely watch a movie or tv show anymore without going over all types of thoughts in my brain about the following day, week, project, whatever. I need to real rest too!
Yes, being moms definitely add to this. My best rest comes when my phone isn’t near me, yet my entire life is stored on it so it’s often near! Hoping you find some real-rest moments in your everyday chaos. xoxo
wow – the idol of productivity – seems like either or both or anything can be an idol. I love it that you went through that pile – i have too many and yet i began tackling the food pantry at 10 pm the other night – 3 more shelves to go – taking it easy but loving the new clean and the new order. I just quit my job so i’m figuring out my white space and struggling w/ some productivity (or non) issues! Thanks for this and for hosting. Got to hear Shauna at SheSpeaks. And keep swinging on your porch -xx sue
Shauna’s word are always good for my life. I especially got this book on a deep level! 🙂 White space is such a blessing, so I’m praying you know what to do with yours. Thanks for being here and encouraging. xo
I got Shauna’s book as a birthday present and am looking forward to reading it. The concept of “fake resting” is an intriguing one, and you’ve got me thinking!
I’ve never thought about “fake-resting,” but when I read Shauna’s words about it I realized that’s exactly what I do so much of the time. I say I’m resting, but I’m really making a list and thinking about what I’m going to do next or planning something. Let me know what you think of the book – there were some sections that spoke so deeply into my life.