Kristin Hill Taylor

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8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids

April 14, 2016 by Kristin 1 Comment

Surely I’m not the only mom who wished my kids came with a manual. In the trenches of parenting, my husband and I sometimes realize we aren’t entirely sure how we should handle a situation. Sure, there are times we’re on the same page and have prepared how we will respond, but there are plenty of times we’re winging it.

Dr. Todd Cartmell’s new “8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids” is an instruction manual for parents.

Using examples from his home and 20 years of professional practice, child psychologist and father Todd Cartmell gives eight essential and practical tools to help you maintain a healthy relationship with your child, develop a nurturing home culture, and correct behavior in lasting ways. Designed for busy parents, “8 Simple Tools” breaks each tool – talking, listening, influencing, connecting, teaching, encouraging, correcting, and leading – into five short chapters that include summary tips and application questions.

The organization of the wise information is part of what makes this book the ideal instruction manual. More importantly, the advice is based on real-life scenarios and biblical truth.

My favorite – well, as in most needed – section was the one on talking. It’s the first tool, but it’s the one I struggle with the most. I tend to revert to bossy, nagging words and tone when I want to control my kids and their behavior. Obviously, that’s the not the best strategy, and Dr. Todd offers wisdom I needed to hear.

I don’t pause often enough either. I’m not a new mom and I’m certainly not a new communicator, but I needed these reminders: What do I really want to say? What is the best way to say it? If I want my kids to talk respectfully when they are mad, then I must do the same. I want my child to copy my communication style, not me copy theirs.

(Ouch.)

And then there was this: “You don’t control your kids’ responses, but you do control your words, volume, level, and tone.”

(Again, ouch.)

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

–Proverbs 12:18

Words do matter. The teach and heal and love. Words open the door for teachable moments and opportunities to develop deeper relationships. I want to do that well and I’m glad for this instruction manual that was missing in our family.

“Bottom line: If you are a parents who talks and listens to your kids, influences them with the power of your words, connects with them, teaches and encourages them, corrects them, and leads them through your example, then I believe you will change the trajectory of their lives.”

(And that quote is in the introduction!)

ABOUT THE BOOK :: 209-page paperback published by Moody Publishers (Dec. 15, 2015). Find more information about the book, including sharable images and assessments online at the book’s website.

And I have a special deal for you! Get the book for 50% off with the code GREATKIDS16, which is good through May 15 when you order the book through Moody Publishers. “8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids” also is available at Amazon.

For a limited time when you purchase the book anywhere, receive access to download the Hearts at Home “Essential Workshop Collection for Parents” for free! Learn more about that promotion at the book’s website.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Todd Cartmell earned his doctorate in clinical psychology from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, and then completed his postdoctoral fellowship with Wright State University at the Children’s Hospital. Since then, he’s worked at Summit Clinical Services in Wheaton, Illinois, where he continues to see children, teens, and families on a full-time basis.

He’s written five faith-based parenting books and has presented many parenting workshops at mom’s conferences, churches, and schools. And he’s actually guest posted on my blog before.

_____________________

I received a free copy of this book from FlyBy Promotions / Propeller Consulting in exchange for an honest review. 

Subscribe to get new posts and/or a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog in your inbox. When you subscribe, I’ll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable. 

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Filed Under: books, FlyBy Promotions, motherhood, review, words

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our high school girl who never forgets, our middle school boy who has no fear, and our joy-filled first-grade girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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To live in communion with one another, means to sh To live in communion with one another, means to share meals, space, advice, and prayers. It also means sharing hope, disappointment, dreams, and forgiveness. 

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So many of my Facebook friends shared lovely pictu So many of my Facebook friends shared lovely pictures of their daughters yesterday for the completely made-up National Daughters Day. Regardless, today I'm all in my feelings about my daughters. 

They're 16 and 8 right now. Both of their classes have been studying ancient Egypt and had a joint feast today. Sweet, huh? 

BUT THEN TIMEHOP GOT ME! Apparently, NINE years ago today, when Cate was a second-grader, her class had an Egyptian feast. I think about a particular picture of Cate and her friend Kilee from that day AND THEN IT CAME UP IN MY TIMEHOP TODAY. Facebook also told me that same day nine years ago, Monica and I became Facebook friends. We probably were at the Egyptian feast and decided we'd be friends because our girls were friends. Y'all, God has been so good to me through my friendship with Monica. Our families click in a special way with our three sets of same-aged kids, most of whom have been adopted. 

Anyway, my daughters. They're lovely, funny, and smart. I love that Cate helped Rachel with her Egyptian eye makeup this morning and made her a Nutella and banana sandwich. I love that they got to have a party today at school together. I love that even though they're eight years apart, they're sisters. 

I hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I do. 💛

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I’m pretty much always thinking about my next tr I’m pretty much always thinking about my next trip! Be it a weekend getaway or a family vacation, I’ve always got ideas of where I want to go next. The rest of my family always has suggestions too. Yes, take the (next) trip!

In the blog post HOW TO TAKE THE TRIP, I share lots of links and suggestions on where to go, who can help you, and what to take with you. 

✨ https://kristinhilltaylor.com/2023/09/how-to-take-the-trip.html

Where do you want to go? What do you always take with you?

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Recently, in random snapshots. This is a full life Recently, in random snapshots. This is a full life, but it’s a good life. 💛

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When you subscribe to emails from my porch, you ge When you subscribe to emails from my porch, you get some free goodies! Plus, it's a fun way to chat about life, books, and faith. 

I just updated the free gifts to include a lovely PDF that has links to 27 (!!!) how-to posts about life, home, and parenthood. I'm going to give away more goodies when I meet some subscriber goals, so, if you haven't already, please join me on my virtual porch. 

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You’re a light wherever you go! And you like to You’re a light wherever you go! And you like to go! You’re always making friends, asking about our next adventure, wanting to know what’s next, and talking if you’re not singing. You’re the joy our family needed in 2015 and you continue to be the one who makes us laugh and love better than we did before we knew you. 

... You ask a million questions, know the words to thousands of songs, have so many ideas, and still try to sneak into my bed at night. You say I’m the best snuggler in this family. I’ll take it – and your hugs and love, although the middle of the night will never be my favorite time. 

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In this book about biblical friendships, we’ll l In this book about biblical friendships, we’ll learn how God has created us for communion, allowing His people—then and now—to befriend one another in holy ways.

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