Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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On saying “I’m happy for you …” and meaning it {a review & giveaway}

November 30, 2015 by Kristin Leave a Comment

I don’t have a Pinterest account for several reasons, one of which is it makes me hold too tightly to unrealistic expectations. I love social media and the way it connects people. But it’s easy to browse through Facebook posts, Instagram snapshots, and pins and start comparing my own insides – my dreams, my thoughts, my plans, my expectations – to someone else’s outside – their family photos, their vacation spots, their home décor, and their fairytale.

I know everything that happens in my head, but I’m only seeing a glimpse of what’s actually happening in their lives. I’ve stayed on social media because the good totally outweighs the bad for me, but while reading “I’m Happy For You (Sort Of … Not Really)” by Kay Wills Wyma I found myself wanting to approach my News Feed – and life – in a different way.

I want to say “I’m happy for you …” and mean it more often. {Tweet that.} I want to trade comparison for compassion.

“‘I’m happy for you’ (if you mean it) breathes life into tense and uncomfortable situations. Being preoccupied with how we measure up personally leads to either pride or humiliation, whereas choosing to focus on and congratulate the other person lifts us both up.”

{Kay Wyma on page 24}

In “I’m Happy for You (Sort Of … Not Really),” Wyma shares real-life stories that made me chuckle – because I get them – and inspired me to think about my reactions and expectations. The pages are full of practical advice and encouragement to find contentment in a world that presses us to compare, although I admittedly skimmed over some sections that weren’t relevant to my life or personality.

I remember when I longed to be a mom. Pregnancy announcements would send me into tears – and that was before I even had a Facebook account.

I remember when I decided I wanted to publish our family’s adoption story, which is also part of my faith story, and the internet was full with so many new books and projects that made me wonder if mine mattered.

I remember when I thought I needed to care about every cause I saw posted on Facebook, making me wonder where I could best serve.

But God’s been doing a work to teach me he’s created me with the gifts and interests I have. It doesn’t matter I don’t like to bake. I have my priorities and preferences – and those aren’t always going to look like my friends’ choices.

God is doing a work here – in me – and that doesn’t always translate in a snapshot on Instagram. Even so, I want to celebrate what God is doing here – and what He’s doing elsewhere. I want to live with compassion and let go of comparison.

“Being able to say ‘I’m happy for you’ is not merely about celebrating someone else but about escaping the prison of dissatisfaction built by the bars of self-centered thinking. As we deliberately pursue compassion rather than comparison, we find our lives enlarged. Contentment isn’t something yet to be found out there; it’s right here with us, ready to be enjoyed.”

{Kay Wyma on page 206}

_______________

ABOUT THE BOOK :: In her relatable style, Kay Wyma confronts the comparison epidemic raging in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our social-media feeds, offering remedies along the way. “I’m Happy For You (Sort Of … Not Really)” explores the troubling effects of living in an excessively competitive culture — and reveals simple yet effective ways to escape the comparison trap. Paperback, 240 pages. Published by WaterBrook Press (May 5, 2015).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, mother of five, and the author of “Cleaning House” through which she has appeared on “The TODAY Show,” CNN, “The New York Times,” Focus on the Family, and more. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. Kay lives in the Dallas area with her husband, Jon, and their family. Keep up with her at on her website, Facebook, or Twitter.

GIVEAWAY :: Use the Rafflecopter below to enter to win a copy of this book, thanks to FlyBy Promotions / Propeller Consulting. The giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents through Monday, Dec. 7. A winner will be selected randomly.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Many thanks to Propeller Consulting / FlyBy Promotions for providing a copy of this book for me to review in exchange for a review and another copy for one of you! If you have won a prize from Propeller / FlyBy in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.

Want more insights? “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin’, or subscribe to receive “Insights in Your Inbox.”

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our ninth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear sixth-grade boy, and our joy-filled kindergarten girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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Old friends and live music are two of my favorite Old friends and live music are two of my favorite things, so having them together is the best. My friend Aaron and I went to multiple Dave Matthews Band shows together during our college years, so now two decades later it’s fun to do it again as grown ups with our spouses for a band that speaks truth into our lives. 

@needtobreathe put on the loudest acoustic tour I’ve ever seen, but it sure was good! And its encore of completely unplugged songs was especially sweet. 

#NTBlive #needtobreathe #bettertogether #choosingJOY #favoritethings #livingfaithfully #weekending
Happiness is … … a slow morning that gave me Happiness is …

… a slow morning that gave me a chance to finish reading a good book right after I fixed my favorite cinnamon toast. 

… some shade to invite me to pick some more weeds around the house. But why doesn’t my Apple Watch count this as exercise? It felt like exercise to me! 

… an appointment with my oldest girl for us both to get our nails done this morning. 

… my youngest girl’s last soccer game of the season, even though the heat made her a little grumpy. 

… pool time, another good book to read, my mom visiting for the second weekend in a row, a little more weeding, and a night at home with no specific plans. 

Happiness is everyday, normal life with my people, especially when it comes with a slower pace after a hectic week. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #soccermom #KHTreads #momlife #weekending #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #poolpeople #PorchStories
I regretted having to go to sleep last night befor I regretted having to go to sleep last night before I finished this book, so I picked it up at breakfast and didn’t do anything else until I finished it. 

I loved the Alaskan cruise setting, the quick love and understanding between Greta and Ben, and the realistic ways grief changes people. Well done, @jenniferesmith! 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #kindlebooks #booklover #kindlepaperwhite #reallife #weekending #recommendedreads #poolpeople #amreading
Happy Friday! 🎉 We’ve got four more days of s Happy Friday! 🎉 We’ve got four more days of school next week and then it’s #88daysofsummer! Obviously, we’re ready. ☀️ 

Here’s to a refreshing weekend with much anticipation of what’s to come! #weekending #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #thirdchild #momlife #summerisbest #poolpeople #PorchStories #maydays
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I’ve already bou ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve already bought three copies of “Glad You’re Here: Two Unlikely Friends Breaking Bread and Fences” by @walkerhayes and @craigallencooper to gift to specific friends. I’ve referenced this story in conversations this week and will likely recommended it for years to come. 

This story is about two seemingly different guys befriending each other because their kids were on the same baseball team and their wives became friends. They kept showing for each other, encouraged each other, and changed each other for the better. In fact, their friendship was the catalyst for Walker deciding to follow Christ. 

Give me Applebee’s on a date night, a real-life story of how we are eternally better together, and an audiobook that makes me want to drive and I’m a happy girl. I’m fancy like that. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #bettertogether #livingfaithfully #hospitalitymatters #audiobooks #booklover #favoritethings
I’m majorly behind on laundry, dishes, emails, a I’m majorly behind on laundry, dishes, emails, and to-do lists. Birthdays, a field trip, end-of-school things, squeezing in some friend dates, and just general life with three kids have occupied much of my time. But my friend @whitneyrscott at @blushsalon did tend to their shaggy hairs. So check! 

#momlife #reallife #girlmom #boymom #maydays #siblinglove #livingfaithfully
What I’m wearing … I don’t wear in jewelry, What I’m wearing …

I don’t wear in jewelry, but I love having bracelets that mean things to me. 

Today my friend Monica and I talked to our oldest daughters’ high school health class about adoption. My other friend @megandelaneythomas invited us because she recently taught about the reproductive system and wanted the class to hear about adoption as an option. We talked about adoption as a process, redemption to broken circumstances, and picture of God grafting us into his family. We shared resources and advice on counseling for abortion, befriending people who have made different relationships choices, and parenting regardless of how God builds a family. 

I left that high school health class thankful for @ncca.lions and the opportunities my kids have had to learn about real things in the context of the gospel. I’m also grateful for this adoption bond Monica and I share with our kids who are the same ages. I’ve always said, adoption is relational to its core, far beyond just bringing a baby home. That circle widened a little today, and I’m glad to welcome others into pieces of our story. 

Also, how fun are these bracelets @katie_cunningham85 gave me last week for my birthday? Today seemed like the perfect time to wear them along with my Romans 8:28 reminder — “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Things working together for the good in Christ doesn’t mean easy or convenient. But it does mean all the details and relationships matter. I’m forever grateful for how God built my faith and my family through adoption. Wearing these sweet reminders is good for my soul. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #adoptionislove #adoption #PeaceInTheProcess #authorlife #bettertogether #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY #momlife #firstborn #girlmom #boymom #reallife @scott_monica_bidwell
Another new book from a popular author that was ex Another new book from a popular author that was excellent! @harlancoben is a great suspense writer, and this is among his best in my opinion. It picked up with an old character and references another character from another book. But this story is well done even without those details. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #booklover #kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite
I’ve read many @lisascottoline books, and this o I’ve read many @lisascottoline books, and this one is definitely at the top of my list. I didn’t know much about it going in, but I especially loved the WITSEC portion of the storyline and the suspense that unfolded about what happened to the Bennetts. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #kindlepaperwhite #booklover
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