Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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On saying “I’m happy for you …” and meaning it {a review & giveaway}

November 30, 2015 by Kristin Leave a Comment

I don’t have a Pinterest account for several reasons, one of which is it makes me hold too tightly to unrealistic expectations. I love social media and the way it connects people. But it’s easy to browse through Facebook posts, Instagram snapshots, and pins and start comparing my own insides – my dreams, my thoughts, my plans, my expectations – to someone else’s outside – their family photos, their vacation spots, their home décor, and their fairytale.

I know everything that happens in my head, but I’m only seeing a glimpse of what’s actually happening in their lives. I’ve stayed on social media because the good totally outweighs the bad for me, but while reading “I’m Happy For You (Sort Of … Not Really)” by Kay Wills Wyma I found myself wanting to approach my News Feed – and life – in a different way.

I want to say “I’m happy for you …” and mean it more often. {Tweet that.} I want to trade comparison for compassion.

“‘I’m happy for you’ (if you mean it) breathes life into tense and uncomfortable situations. Being preoccupied with how we measure up personally leads to either pride or humiliation, whereas choosing to focus on and congratulate the other person lifts us both up.”

{Kay Wyma on page 24}

In “I’m Happy for You (Sort Of … Not Really),” Wyma shares real-life stories that made me chuckle – because I get them – and inspired me to think about my reactions and expectations. The pages are full of practical advice and encouragement to find contentment in a world that presses us to compare, although I admittedly skimmed over some sections that weren’t relevant to my life or personality.

I remember when I longed to be a mom. Pregnancy announcements would send me into tears – and that was before I even had a Facebook account.

I remember when I decided I wanted to publish our family’s adoption story, which is also part of my faith story, and the internet was full with so many new books and projects that made me wonder if mine mattered.

I remember when I thought I needed to care about every cause I saw posted on Facebook, making me wonder where I could best serve.

But God’s been doing a work to teach me he’s created me with the gifts and interests I have. It doesn’t matter I don’t like to bake. I have my priorities and preferences – and those aren’t always going to look like my friends’ choices.

God is doing a work here – in me – and that doesn’t always translate in a snapshot on Instagram. Even so, I want to celebrate what God is doing here – and what He’s doing elsewhere. I want to live with compassion and let go of comparison.

“Being able to say ‘I’m happy for you’ is not merely about celebrating someone else but about escaping the prison of dissatisfaction built by the bars of self-centered thinking. As we deliberately pursue compassion rather than comparison, we find our lives enlarged. Contentment isn’t something yet to be found out there; it’s right here with us, ready to be enjoyed.”

{Kay Wyma on page 206}

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ABOUT THE BOOK :: In her relatable style, Kay Wyma confronts the comparison epidemic raging in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our social-media feeds, offering remedies along the way. “I’m Happy For You (Sort Of … Not Really)” explores the troubling effects of living in an excessively competitive culture — and reveals simple yet effective ways to escape the comparison trap. Paperback, 240 pages. Published by WaterBrook Press (May 5, 2015).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, mother of five, and the author of “Cleaning House” through which she has appeared on “The TODAY Show,” CNN, “The New York Times,” Focus on the Family, and more. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. Kay lives in the Dallas area with her husband, Jon, and their family. Keep up with her at on her website, Facebook, or Twitter.

GIVEAWAY :: Use the Rafflecopter below to enter to win a copy of this book, thanks to FlyBy Promotions / Propeller Consulting. The giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents through Monday, Dec. 7. A winner will be selected randomly.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Many thanks to Propeller Consulting / FlyBy Promotions for providing a copy of this book for me to review in exchange for a review and another copy for one of you! If you have won a prize from Propeller / FlyBy in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.

Want more insights? “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin’, or subscribe to receive “Insights in Your Inbox.”

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our eighth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear fifth-grade boy, and our joy-filled preschool girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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On Instagram

I drive the same routes over and over. I know wher I drive the same routes over and over. I know where I am likely to see deer — even if I have to look closely. God sure did camouflage these creatures for this time of the year when trees are bare. 

I think about how everyone is going through some things. We are journey through lives, our paths crossing as we navigate circumstances and feelings people can’t always see. But we should know they’re there. 

Maybe we are waiting to fall in love or have a baby or get a new job. Maybe we are in the midst of grief from a friendship falling apart or a business decision providing in ways we never expected. Maybe decisions are haunting us or stumping us. Maybe we are anxious about the future or facing our past. Maybe we aren’t sure what’s next. 

There’s a million little and big things we face that not everyone we meet can see. The situations and emotions are camouflaged while we survive daily tasks, caring for our people, and figuring out how to adjust once again to whatever life throws our way. 

I don’t know what you’re facing, but I am certain you’re not alone. Your story won’t be camouflaged forever. The seasons change. New life comes. The deer usually travel together through the woods along my routes, and I’m convinced our lives are best when we journey together too. 

#countryliving #bettertogether #livingfaithfully #PorchStories #lessonsfromnature
Romantic comedies have fit my mood lately. I reall Romantic comedies have fit my mood lately. I really enjoyed this story and the characters’ history being woven into their current circumstances. I did have to skim some sex scenes that didn’t add much to the story for me. #amreading #romcombooks #bookstagram
I’ve loved Cate’s school experience at @ncca.l I’ve loved Cate’s school experience at @ncca.lions, a small but growing classical, Christian school. I knew there were both advantages and sacrifices of keeping her in a small class for middle school and agonized over possibly moving her to a bigger school. I only considered moving her because I wasn’t sure what her classmates, some of who are freshman this year, were going to do for high school. But they stayed, and we stayed. Now she’s an eighth grader in a class of nine. 

A couple years ago, I prayed for more girls. God gave her class two. Sometimes people move on, and sometimes people move in. But this sweet class of eighth and ninth graders has been faithful — to each other, to our school, to an unknown future. They’re paving a way for the students behind them, including my other two kids. 

God has been kind to my momma heart and given me some assurances she is where she’s supposed to be. One of these provisions is a basketball team that has become competitive with the other teams we’ve gotten to play. It’s more than just some games, though. I’ve watched my 13-year-old daughter become more confident on the court and in life. I’m grateful for her friends and their shared love of this game. I’m thankful for where God has us. 

#momlife #classicaleducation #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #girlmom #momconfessions #bettertogether #middleschool #middleschoolbasketball
At a basketball game Thursday night, Ben told me h At a basketball game Thursday night, Ben told me he had a loose tooth and was going to go to the bathroom to maybe pull it. He pulled it. That’s #14, and he’s dealt with every single one, just as his older sister did with all 20 of hers.

Meanwhile, little sister has a loose tooth that she won’t wiggle, avoids using to eat, and won’t let her siblings pull. We’ve bribed, threatened, and failed to persuade.

#momlife #boymom #thirdchild #girlmom #reallife #momconfessions
I was overdue for some TLC to my hair, so I got it I was overdue for some TLC to my hair, so I got it trimmed and colored this week. You know it’s time when the stylist takes before and after pictures. My friend @whitneyrscott at @blushsalon always does a good job. 

In addition to the much-needed TLC, I also got bangs. After a few days, I can say I love them. The resident teenager at my home doesn’t like this — and she tells me daily. I tell her I don’t care whether she likes them because I do and it’s my hair. She also didn’t like the tennis shoes I bought a few weeks ago. Again, I do, so who cares. 

Anyway, it’s Friday! So let’s do some #fridayintroductions around here. Tell me three things you’re loving these days. I’ve already mostly told you mine: 

1️⃣ My bangs. I’ve included a picture of the fun waves that Whitney gave me at the salon and the more likely normal styling — by that I mean blow drying and some minor straightening to train the bangs. 
2️⃣ New tennis shoes, which are gray & purple Brooks Launch 7, if you’re curious. My nail color accidentally matches them. 
3️⃣ The teenager in my house. I’ve been giving her grief about her dislike of my fashion choices, but I really love being around her. Honestly, she’s the easiest kid in my house right now. 

✨ Bonus current love: Who can tell me what TV character inspired my hairdo? If you know, then that’s also the TV show I recently binged and am eagerly awaiting new episodes. 

So, what are you loving — even if nobody else in your life does? #momconfessions #reallife #reallifeconfessions #momlife #choosingJOY
It’s been a night of basketball! First, my girl’s middle school game. Now, our favorite college team. Turns out they’re both navy & gold so that’s good for wardrobe choices. 💛 #girlmom #momlife #RacerNation #WeAreRacers #MurrayState
“The Chicken Sisters” by @kjda was a fun, quic “The Chicken Sisters” by @kjda was a fun, quick read this weekend. I added it to my to-read list recently and then saw it as a @bookofthemonth add-on.

I enjoyed the feuding sisters story unfolding while filming a realty show about their family’s feuding chicken restaurants in a small Kansas town. Of course, not everything is quite as it seems, so the reality show helps uncover some reality both sisters were missing.

#amreading #bookstagram #booklover #recommendedreads #thechickensisters #weekending
We needed to get out of the house today — even t We needed to get out of the house today — even though the sun barely peeked through the clouds into the cold air. #countryliving #weekending #choosingJOY #boymom #thirdchild
A week into Peggy’s recovery at our house, and t A week into Peggy’s recovery at our house, and these two have spent a lot of time together. Rachel encourages her and stays close. Peggy plays games and watches movies with Rachel.

Honestly, this #thirdchild of mine was probably my biggest concern with having Peggy recover from open heart surgery here: I didn’t want Rachel to hug too hard. I didn’t know if she’d understand that her Gran-Gran looks fine on the inside but hurts on the inside. She’s been booted from her room, but she’s been sleeping well on her mattress in the back living room. She’s actually probably not going to know what to do when Peggy moves back home.

For now, we’ll let them make memories together. That’s part of caretaking I hadn’t considered. #bettertogether #weekending #choosingJOY
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