Just another {melancholy} Monday

It was a Monday of appointments and errands. I dragged the kids around – not literally – most of the day. They were troopers, but they were restless and turned up their volume. We got a lot done, but I was kind of done with the day before the day could be done.

While driving around and taking care of business, my head was full of thoughts and introspections and ideas and conversations. I answered kids’ questions and explained things – things I didn’t really think needed explaining – more than once. I wondered why my 5-year-old son still doesn’t understand lunch comes in the middle of the day and dinner comes when Daddy comes home from work. Of course, some days Daddy comes home for lunch or we meet him somewhere.

Not on Monday, though.

My kids ate popcorn chicken from Walmart’s deli. Yes, it was Lunchables last week. AND, Y’ALL, I HAD TO GO BACK TO WALMART FOR THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW BECAUSE BIG LOTS LET ME DOWN. And then the kids saved the plastic lid to their popcorn chicken containers and used them as boats in the bathtub when we got home. Nobody was bathing. But they were happy and united. So whatever.

{Yes, my kids are creative. Last week they played with cardboard boxes, remember?}

I meal planned last week for the first time in many, many weeks. I knew Monday was going to be busy, so wisely put chicken fajitas in the crock pot this morning. I win – at least this time.

It may have been a melancholy Monday, but it was also a fabulous mail day.

I like to post on Instagram.

First of all, my friend Mandy surprised me with some #choosingJOY goodies – stickers and stamps. Her note encouraged me when I needed a little extra love. And then another package was “Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends” by Melanie Dale, a book I’d forgotten I’d won in Christen’s blog giveaway.

Not long afterward, I started reading “Women Are Scary” and was laughing and crying IN THE FIRST CHAPTER. For real. Melanie Dale opens the book with a quote from “Billy Madison” – which alone may just have made me chuckle, but knowing my husband can quote SO MUCH of the movie made me appreciate the opening words even more. And then she starts talking about infertility and adoption.

“I saw motherhood as giving something up. It never occurred to me what I’d gain. My rough road to motherhood grew my character and readied me to join this incredible group of women, powerhouse women changing lives around the world together.”

{Melanie Dale in “Women Are Scary,” page 12}

{Cue the tears. Because I didn’t know if I wanted to be a mom. Until I did. And then God made me a mom in a way I never expected and built my faith in a whole new way.}

I quickly got sucked into the book. And then my family wanted to eat dinner. Good thing I had something in the crock pot, otherwise these people may have had to fend for themselves. And then later in the evening, I plopped myself on one end of the couch while my girl played Minecraft on the other, and read and read and read. And laughed and got teary and laughed again – sometimes in the same sentence, certainly often on the same page.

{Greg went back to work for a couple hours. Ben was finally, thankfully, sleeping. Although he told me the next morning he actually cleaned his room after I put him to bed. I have such mixed reactions – hooray for cleaning your room! But, um, hello, your day was done, son.}

I ended up binge-reading the whole book.

Here’s the thing, I thought I was escaping some of the thoughts in my head – the ones about friendships that have entered seasons I don’t love, the ones about a dear childhood friend I thought would be a forever friend, the ones about all the chaos and darkness in the world, the ones about what God is doing in our family, and the ones about serving others. But I didn’t actually escape what was in my head and heart because what Melanie wrote is real. She may have quoted some movies I don’t care about, but the bottom line is what women do as mothers is brave.

And, yes, some days are emotionally exhausting – sometimes for no one reason. But all of the days matter – even the hard ones that drive us to Jesus – and probably Text Support with The Mother Network. {Right, Melanie?}

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