Jen and Craig Ferguson tell a brave story that can encourage couples in so many areas of life. Yes, they share about the shame, anger, insecurity, and hopelessness they experienced because of Craig’s addiction to pornography, but their story is about so much more.
They learned how Christ could rescue them – individually and together – out of the darkness and free them into the light. As I read “Pure Eyes, Clean Heart: A Couple’s Journey to Freedom from Pornography,” questions came to my mind: What lies from Satan have I believed that created division in my house? Is there anything I need to bring into the light?
I thought about convicting words and condemning words are not the same thing. In fact, they have the opposite effect on my life. Those times I was given the gift of truth are important to point me to God.
This book for both men and women is packed with resources and practical advice that are based on the Bible. Jen and Craig alternate telling their story and encouraging couples to talk and pray through their own struggles. Questions throughout are likely to prompt meaningful conversations about all sorts of subjects.
Jen is my friend who lives too far away. A momma to two girls, she is the facilitator of The Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood and loves to encourage women to bring their true selves out into the light. I wanted to share a little from her about her book, so welcome my sweet friend and her words here:
It took my husband about five minutes to decide to write this book with me.
Could this be humiliating? Yes.
Could this make people see us differently? Yes.
Would this be hard for us to try to explain to our kids? Yes.
Could bringing this shameful struggle to light bring freedom, not only to others, but to us as well? Yes.
Once we got fully engrossed in the writing but before we knew we got the book contract, we realized that even if this book never saw the light of day, we were grateful. Writing about things such as anger, forgiveness, respect, control, love, intimacy, and surrender to God means working through issues that impact our own marriage.
Whenever we have problems in our marriage that we choose to push aside and deal with “later,” it gives the enemy an in. Satan thrives in the darkness. He uses it to twist our thoughts and harden our hearts against our spouse. But when we agree to work them out, no matter how messy the process is, we bring those issues out in the open, exposing them to light. No longer can they sit and fester, but in the opening up, we allow Jesus to touch them.
And when Jesus touches, He brings healing. We see this throughout the Bible.
The demon-possessed? Healed.
The bleeding woman? Healed.
The leper? Healed.
Jesus wants to bring His healing touch to our marriages. Whether we struggle with porn, bitterness, alcoholism, anger, betrayal, or insecurities, Jesus wants to help us fulfill our marriage vows.
But we have to be willing to let Him in. We have to let Him work. And the hard truth? While as wives, we sometimes label our husbands as “the one with the problem,” we have our own issues to work out, too.
Craig and I made many realizations and changes in our marriage through God’s healing grace and mercy. We’ve gain great insight into each other and ourselves. This book shares our story. It offers hope. It offers compassion. But it’s not a cure.
Because only Jesus heals in ways everlasting and eternal.
As much as this book is about journey through my husband’s porn addiction, it’s about my own addiction to control. Just as much as he confesses, I confess, too. Because my initial response to his porn? Control. And if I’m controlling, guess whom I’m not allowing in?
Jesus. The One who heals.
Learn more about the book at PureEyesCleanHeart.com or Amazon.
I received a copy of “Pure Eyes, Clean Heart” from NetGalley and Discovery House Publishers in exchange for an honest review. But, really, I love Jen and this message she and Craig are sharing.
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