Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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No More Perfect … Kids

July 19, 2013 by Kristin 2 Comments

They’re cute, aren’t they? My daughter has cheesing down to an art. And my boy has silly faces perfected. As cute as they are and as much as I love their stories of becoming part of our family, they aren’t perfect. 
Those kids you see on the playground? They aren’t perfect either. That boy challenging his mom in the grocery store aisle or the one in your daughter’s class? Yeah, no perfection there. 
So let’s stop expecting them to be perfect. {I’ve just repeated this five times. And I could sit here all day and remind myself.}

“Your kids aren’t perfect. Their imperfections are not a reflection of you. You can’t control them into perfection. Allowing your children to fail – without getting your anger as a consequence – is a gift to them.”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Moms“}

Perfection is rooted deep in my natural tendencies. I’m slowly learning to let go and embrace imperfection, especially in my days and relationships. There is so much more peace and joy when I let go of my expectations.

My 6-year-old daughter is oh-so much like me. I’m trying to help her through her own perfectionist tendencies so she’ll try something new without being frustrated that she’s not immediately good at it. We had a good lesson this summer at the skating rink and again as she’s learned to swim and jump off the diving board without floaties.

Meanwhile my 3-year-old boy is all boy. He’s loud and messy and independent and funny and fearless and always on the move. He stretches me and presses me and challenges me and loves me and reminds me to laugh. He’s good for me. But, goodness, he’s hard for me. He doesn’t fit in my box and I certainly can’t parent him just like I do his sister. Without him, I’m pretty sure I’d still be trying to keep my life in a perfect box.

God has been trying to break through my stubborn, perfectionist ways for a long time now. This has been the year I’ve truly let him in. I still learning and trusting in this new way, but my heart is calmer this way. And, really, I have my kids to thank for it.

________

It’s been awhile since I blogged about “No More Perfect Moms.” {Read past posts here.} I’m linking up with other moms over at Jill Savage’s Hearts at Home Blog Hop. And I’ve got news: Jill Savage is teaming up with Dr. Kathy Koch to write “No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are.” I have no doubt it will be real and practical. 

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Filed Under: Ben, books, Cate, motherhood

Comments

  1. Jennifer Camp says

    July 19, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    I don't like to admit how I, too, have tendencies to desire perfection in my kids. I guess it takes recognizing that trait in myself! I wonder if I am harder on my kids when I parent from a place of fear, forgetting that all I can do is my best and trust God wants to partner with me (is inviting me to partner with Him!) in parenting. He has me. He has my kids (talking to myself here . . 🙂 ) Love you, sweet friend. Thank you for how your turn my heart towards surrender and trust and love.

    Reply
  2. KristinHillTaylor says

    July 19, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    It's a hard, hard thing for me to learn, clearly, because, I'm still learning it. Parenting has been the hardest but most faith-building season of my life. It's certainly better when I let Him in with me. Your comment is so encouraging to me. I'm glad God gives us others in this journey.

    Reply

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our ninth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear sixth-grade boy, and our joy-filled kindergarten girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have picked up thi Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have picked up this book had a dear friend who always comes in clutch with book recommendations let me borrow it. My mind has been swirling this week. Just lots of life happening all around me. 

I picked up this book while Ben was at his counseling appointment and read most of that hour, then again that evening, and then again the next day. This book could be read slowly because the words are lyrical and lovely, but I couldn’t put it down. The scripture, stories, and songs were balm for my soul right when I needed it. 

“Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!” — Psalm 43:3

This book is about that invitation from God. Songwriter @sandramccracken  tells us how she’s accepted the invitation, lived in the light, and brought others with her. 

I started taking notes on the very first page, but I will leave you with this, for now:

“There will be a full telling of our stories, a reckoning of every injustice, and a mending of every broken system. This is the good news, the promise of peace, working backward from that future reality, bringing that healing light-filled promise to bear on our lives, to shine on our present sorrow and on our yet-unanswered questions. He is with us. It will be all right in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.”

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“Darkness does not define us. It attends to us, “Darkness does not define us. It attends to us, surrounds us in regular intervals, but it does not have the last word. God limits the darkness. He has authority over it and is not bound by it.” 

— @sandramccracken in “Send Out Your Light”

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📷: Cate Taylor, 15

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