We have some household practices to protect our time together.
Our kids don’t watch much TV and when they do, it’s usually a DVD or a show on Netflix. And I’m picky about what I let them watch. Before we go see a movie, I read about it on Plugged In. {Mommas, if you’ve never used this site to read thorough reviews of movies, I highly recommend it.} And my kids get it. They know I think “Spongebob” has a bad tone and that I’m not ready for my adopted daughter to watch Rapunzel be raised by a woman who didn’t birth her {She needs to understand adoption more before a twisted adoption story that’s really more like kidnapping.} in “Tangled.”
We waited until Cate was almost 5 to sign her up for any extra-curricular activity. She wanted to do ballet so we agreed to let her do the 45-minute classes once a week four months before her fifth birthday. That overlapped for a couple weeks with t-ball, but we have a general “one activity at a time” practice. It’s for our kids and for us parents too.
We like to sit down for dinner together. Our kids are better behaved when they get their 11 hours of sleep at night. {I know this will change as they get older, but going to bed around 7 p.m. is where we are.} My girl started going to bed earlier {in the 7 o’clock hour instead of the 8 o’clock hour} when she started kindergarten in August because she was worn out from the full days at school. When we know we’re going to be later than their usual bedtime getting home, like when we go to Racers basketball games, we try to incorporate some rest time.
Valuing our time as a family and what’s in the best interest of our kids, we sometimes have to say no or make different arrangements. {The way we do it may look nothing like the way you do it. And that’s OK.}
This is what came to mind when Holley Gerth encouraged us God-sized dreamers to “decide what you will decrease in your life so your God-sized dream has more room to increase. What do you need to say “no” or “not now” or “not so much” to so your dream can thrive? Sometimes even what’s good can crowd out what’s best.“
Maybe you’re wondering what this parenting philosophy has to do with my God-sized dreams? Well, there is asterisk next to my dreams of writing, adopting and living out this mission: I believe God has created and called me to communicate stories from my own life and others’ lives for families to know God as the author and creator of every detail through writing, promoting and serving. But, more importantly, I believe God has called me to be a wife and mom first. Both of those roles are best lived out when I’m available and with my family.
Yes, I volunteer some time to serve on the board at my daughter’s small, private school. But I don’t serve on other boards I once did. I sometimes go eat a meal or scrapbook with my friends … and without my kids, but it’s a special treat.We plan lots of trips and activities to do together. We spend time with our friends and their families. We like to share our dinner table with others.
Yes, Cate is signed up to play t-ball in April, and we’re looking forward to watching her games this spring and summer. Ben wants to play, I’m sure, because he wants to do anything she’s doing, but he’ll have to wait until he’s a little older.
And while they’re in school or playing nicely together {hey, it happens …}, I’ll write. When my husband is working while sit together on the couch once the kids have gone to bed, I may write. But the laptop is closed when it’s time to eat dinner around our table and I’m learning how to step away when my family needs/wants me.
Our dinners aren’t perfect. We often tell Ben to sit down. Cate always seems to have to use the bathroom right as I put the plates on the table. I often have reached a tired time of the day just before Greg walks through the door from work. But we’re together. We’re in this life together. And, really, that’s the most important thing. I want to remember that saying “no” is sometimes really saying “yes.”
Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I’m linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth’s blog. You’ll find encouragement, truth and community there. Want more? Subscribe to get “Insights” in your inbox. Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Or follow me on Twitter.
So glad to know another mom on the same parenting journey and making similar parenting decisions.
Yes, it certainly is good to know we aren't alone, even though as I told my daughter multiple times on the vacation we just returned from: Every family does things differently.
Kristin: I just love how you've protected your family life and sanity by saying some common-sense no's! We have many of the same priorities too. For example, Friday night is family night. There are exceptions, but there has to be a pretty unusual set of circumstances! And, we all love our time together. I like how God lead you to write about what you say no to in your family life in response to the prompt this week. I was just thinking yesterday that my family is my first priority, despite my blog and writing projects.
Greg, Cate, and Ben will always know that they were loved by your devotion to your family. Your writing style is authentic and real. I am big FAMILY FIRST type of girl so know that your post inspires me. You are a great writer so I do hope you will continue to share your thoughts and heart with us
One of my favorite things about my new blogging friends/community is how wise you are…I am learning so much about being a mommy and being a Jesus-follower, too. I'm going to bookmark this because "family first" is that important, and while it's something I strive for, I still need reminders. LOVED this…thank you for this piece of your heart. Blessings! 🙂
Thank you for these sweet words. I still need reminders too. 🙂