Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Learning as I go

April 30, 2012 by Kristin Leave a Comment

I was a kid once. And I have a great mom. Bonus: I genuinely like my mother-in-law too. Still, nothing quite prepared me to be a mom. 

Sure, there were things from my childhood I want to make sure my kids experience, and, certainly, there are others I hope they don’t. I have goals and dreams and desires. I learn about this season of mothering small kids from moms who have gone before me and those friends of mine here with me. I’ve even read some books.

But, really, I just have to do it to figure it out.

And sometimes that alone is challenging for me.

I want to be a good mom. But then I think, what’s a good mom anyway? So I’ve been thinking about what I want to mean about by “good mom.”

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. …

When God, your God, ushers you into the land he promised through your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to give you, you’re going to walk into large, bustling cities you didn’t build, well-furnished houses you didn’t buy, come upon wells you didn’t dig, vineyards and olive orchards you didn’t plant. When you take it all in and settle down, pleased and content, make sure you don’t forget how you got there—God brought you out of slavery in Egypt.

Deeply respect God, your God. Serve and worship him exclusively. Back up your promises with his name only. … Do what is right; do what is good in God‘s sight so you’ll live a good life and be able to march in and take this pleasant land that God so solemnly promised through your ancestors, throwing out your enemies left and right—exactly as God said.

The next time your child asks you, “What do these requirements and regulations and rules that God, our God, has commanded mean?” tell your child, “We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt and God powerfully intervened and got us out of that country. We stood there and watched as God delivered miracle-signs, great wonders, and evil-visitations on Egypt, on Pharaoh and his household. He pulled us out of there so he could bring us here and give us the land he so solemnly promised to our ancestors. That’s why God commanded us to follow all these rules, so that we would live reverently before God, our God, as he gives us this good life, keeping us alive for a long time to come.

“It will be a set-right and put-together life for us if we make sure that we do this entire commandment in the Presence of God, our God, just as he commanded us to do.”

–Deuteronomy 6:5-25 {The Message}

Don’t miss it. I don’t want my kids to keep God’s rules because they’re rules. I want them to love God with their whole hearts. And I want to serve them and show them Jesus so that they can know God brought me to where I am, really, where we are. I want to teach them with my words, and, more importantly, my actions. And I want them to have the put-together life only following God brings.

Sometimes getting there — and staying there — is easier said than done. My emotions cloud my perspective on the days that wear me down. That’s what happened yesterday when I learned Ben bit and hit our friend who keeps the church nursery. Sadly, it’s not an isolated incident. He’s been hitting and biting people, sometimes out of frustration, sometimes out of excitement, and usually people we love. Although there was the random boy swinging at the park who wasn’t paying attention to Ben like Ben wanted, so Ben got his attention with a stick.

I don’t say this to talk ill of my boy, who is king of adventure yet can melt your heart. I say this because such behavior baffles me. Sure, I understand frustration. And I was the big sister who bit my brother once, probably twice. But I don’t understand biting those you love.

Or maybe I do. I bit my husband with my words yesterday. He wasn’t sympathizing with my broken momma-heart like I wanted him to. I ended up snapping later because of that frustration and others that were mounting as I lost perspective of the kind of mom, and person, really, I desire to be, the kind of mom/wife/person I can be because God made, and is making me, new.

Today is a new day, thankfully. Ben ended yesterday with the highest fever he’s ever had. 102.7. After checking it every four hours overnight and into the morning and giving him Tylenol each time, I didn’t get below 101. My boy was lethargic, hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, and barely drank anything. I know my boy, and he wasn’t himself. So I took him to the pediatrician this morning.

Strep throat.

That kind of sums up the adventure of motherhood. Yesterday I was struggling with not knowing how to discipline and train my son not to bite. I prayed about it. I cried about it. I texted some friends about it. Last night and today I’ve been caring for my sick, feverish boy.

Between thermometer readings, Tylenol and Motrin doses, and a second trip to the pediatrician to make sure my preschool daughter who has had a snotty nose for weeks, even months, didn’t have strep throat too, I’ve been thinking about how God wants me to mother my son in the best ways I know. He wants to me to stand firm in His truth and teach Ben those truths. And my boy needs me. He doesn’t need a mom who is better at mothering boys. He doesn’t need a parenting professional. He needs me. God made me to be his mom. And Cate’s mom. And Greg’s wife.

I don’t do everything right. But I’m where I am supposed to be with the people I’m supposed to serve. And I’ll learn as we go because God got us here and he’ll get us there.

________

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Filed Under: Ben, faith, friends, motherhood, quotes

Comments

  1. Life as I know it says

    April 30, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Some people get that "gut feeling," other people just "know," but for me, when I read something powerful, two things happen: 1) I read from the first sentence to the last, and 2) I get goosebumps.

    Needless to say, I read this entire post and had goosebumps from the beginning to the end.

    Reply

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our ninth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear sixth-grade boy, and our joy-filled kindergarten girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have picked up thi Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have picked up this book had a dear friend who always comes in clutch with book recommendations let me borrow it. My mind has been swirling this week. Just lots of life happening all around me. 

I picked up this book while Ben was at his counseling appointment and read most of that hour, then again that evening, and then again the next day. This book could be read slowly because the words are lyrical and lovely, but I couldn’t put it down. The scripture, stories, and songs were balm for my soul right when I needed it. 

“Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!” — Psalm 43:3

This book is about that invitation from God. Songwriter @sandramccracken  tells us how she’s accepted the invitation, lived in the light, and brought others with her. 

I started taking notes on the very first page, but I will leave you with this, for now:

“There will be a full telling of our stories, a reckoning of every injustice, and a mending of every broken system. This is the good news, the promise of peace, working backward from that future reality, bringing that healing light-filled promise to bear on our lives, to shine on our present sorrow and on our yet-unanswered questions. He is with us. It will be all right in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.”

#KHTreads #bookstagram #recommendedreads #livingfaithfully #reallife #choosingJOY #storiesmatter
“Darkness does not define us. It attends to us, “Darkness does not define us. It attends to us, surrounds us in regular intervals, but it does not have the last word. God limits the darkness. He has authority over it and is not bound by it.” 

— @sandramccracken in “Send Out Your Light”

#KHTreads #countryliving #livingfaithfully
What is saving my life … My home is a refuge an What is saving my life …

My home is a refuge and shelter from the loud, crazy world. I love being here. I’m thankful for a break from the routine and busyness. I like a chance to have slow mornings and not much of a plan for the day. I’m also grateful for the chance to host others in our home. 

And, of course, books. I love reading and seeing those around me reading too. Stories are also such a refuge for me. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #reallife #88daysofsummer #choosingJOY #KHTreads #momlife
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” - @brenebrown attributes this quote to Viktor Frankl

Months ago, I made a counseling appointment for today. And it certainly came at the exact right now. 

Honestly, the transition into my favorite season has been rocky — and I’m not totally sure why. I know some circumstances that are contributing to that, and I also know my responses haven’t been what I want them to be. But I’m not entirely sure what to do about it. 

Slowing down, listening to my body and mind, setting boundaries, being honest, and counting the wins and gifts should help. At least those are the things my counselor and I discussed when I talked for every minute of our session. Sometimes I go not knowing what we will dive into. Today I knew. She said these were good conversations. She reminded me of what I know to be true, that what I’m doing matters. Intentional parenting matters every single day even though there are no results to quantify. 

Many things are stimuli in my life. Yours too, I’m sure. I don’t leave even space between the chatter, lies, responsibilities, burdens, gifts, and routines to respond kindly and gracefully. I’m quick to be angry and anxious. I want to slow down my brain and give myself more space to truly live. I’m pretty sure that’s the space where God grows pretty things. 

📷: Cate Taylor, 15

#OneDayMay #maydays #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY #reallife #momlife #flowerphotography #summerisbest #88daysofsummer
@emilyhenrywrites is really good at writing romanc @emilyhenrywrites is really good at writing romance novels that go deeper than a cheesy love story. Her characters navigate grief and disappointment that comes with real life. In the cleverly titled “Book Lovers,” Nora and Charlie work through a lot as people and a couple to discover what they’re happy ending looks like. Plus it’s set in a Hallmark-movie-like town that works well for this story for people who love books and lovers. 

#KHTreads #bookstagram #recommendedreads #favoritethings #amreading #Kindlebooks #kindlepaperwhite
Oh, Monday. It’s the first actual week of #88day Oh, Monday. It’s the first actual week of #88daysofsummer and it feels like fall out. That would be lovely, except my people and I were ready for pool time. 

One kid got up way too early and was having all the feels. I subsequently got up way too early and came out of my bedroom ready to implement morning habits and conquer boredom. Nobody else was very excited about my strategy. 

By 10 o’clock this morning, I suggested one kid take a nap and retreated to my own room with my phone, my Kindle, and lots of thoughts. I had a small revelation that helped me better see my kids as the individuals they are. 

I made plans to walk with a friend and later dragged all my kids along. Yep, even the one in a boot and on crutches for at least a few more days. You see, that injured kid also started Summer Break with his third strep diagnosis since February. He certainly needed fresh air after a couple of days stuck inside the house. 

We all needed fresh air, fresh perspectives, and a fresh start to the day. Today the walk outside is what helped. Another day there may be a different strategy, but I’m thankful I found way through all the feelings and disappointments this morning and can feel a little sunshine in my day, even if it’s only the figurative kind of sunshine. 

#momlife #maydays #reallife #kentuckyweather #kyweather #confusedweather #summerisbest #poolpeople #choosingJOY #thirdchild #monday #mondaymood #momconfessions #PorchStories
I miss … … a few particular friends from whom I miss …

… a few particular friends from whom I’m separated by circumstances, logistics, and distances. 

When I make a friend, I intend to stay friends forever. Of course, life doesn’t always work out that way. 

I don’t miss my kids being young, but I miss the ease of socializing with my friends during that season. It was easy then to meet at the park or go somewhere for lunch. Now there are so many schedules to work around. 

Scheduling time to lunch or get together is still my love language, it just takes a little more work, patience, and persistence now. And sometimes that’s exhausting. But it’s always worth it. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #bettertogether #livingfaithfully #reallife
School’s out FOR THE SUMMER! #88daysofsummer #mo School’s out FOR THE SUMMER! #88daysofsummer #momlife #siblinglove #summerisbest #maydays
I’m proud of myself for … … surviving and t I’m proud of myself for …

… surviving and thriving this school year. I resist change almost all of the time, and the past nine months have been full of so many transitions for our whole family. I know, that’s life, but these changes seem like the kind that will mark us forever. 

My kids navigated new beginnings in kindergarten, middle school, and high school. As a mom, sometimes I’m too close to see the growth, but this year it happened in each of them right before my eyes. They navigated friendship hurdles, embraced new friends, and settled a little more into who God created them to be. Middle school isn’t for the faint of heart, but I feel like I’ve come out of this year closer to my son, so I will take it. 

I’m proud of myself for leaning into where God has me. I’ve grown deeper friendships, invested in my kids’ school as a board member and business manager, and seen God work in our ordinary days. 

Y’all know I’m a summer girl, so I’m proud of myself through getting through the winter and coming into summer stronger and braver. 

#OneDayMay #maydays #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY #momlife #summerisbest #bettertogether
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