Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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January 9, 2008 by Kristin Leave a Comment

“What if the very act of receiving a child into our arms was an image of God receiving us into his arms? No judgment, no criticism, just pure love and acceptance. … If God is a God who is about restoring all things, he must be passionate about restoring our child’s missing pieces and his or her heart.”
–from “Before You Were Mine” by Susan TeBos and Carissa Woodwyk

These women talk about creating a “Lifebook” for an adopted child. Basically, it’s a way to compile all the facts about the beginning of life — from conception to adoption — and have a guide for when the time comes to talk about adoption. Unlike a scrapbook, this type of book would be more private with the details about the birthparents and their reasons for deciding not to raise the baby.

The whole time we’ve had Cate, I’ve been developing a similar idea. I want to make a book for her called “Chosen.” I want it to be her story, leading up to her birth. Well, maybe leading up to us coming home with her. Regardless, I’m totally on the same page with these women who wrote the book.

Well, mostly.

Susan TeBos has three internationally adopted children. The processes to adopt internationally and domestically are different, so I’m having trouble relating when she keeps talking about the missing pieces and the loss the adopted child must feel. But then I think, maybe I’m just naive. Maybe Cate will experience some feelings of loss when she finds out she is adopted.

My prayer is Cate realizes she gained much on May 6, 2007. On that day, another woman — a brave, giving woman — birthed her. She had our baby. But in her words to us throughout the weeks leading up to May 6, 2007, she was thankful this baby was going to have a home, particularly our home.

We’ve had Cate in our arms since the day she was born. Her life hasn’t been disjointed in a way that children who begin their lives overseas with one family or in an orphanage experience before they’re relocated to another, more permanent home. Again, maybe I’m naive, but I think the consistency of this being Cate’s home is worth something.

(I’m analytical. I tend to wonder if I’m processing everything appropriately. Like this. Nervousness wasn’t an emotion I experienced in the weeks we were waiting for Cate. Maybe I should have been. But I wasn’t.)

Like before and now. With Cate, I have God’s peace in a way I’ve never experienced. She’s made Greg and I better people, individually and together. And we gel as a family.

Now, that’s not to say we’re not going to talk to her about her birthmother and how she came to be in our family. We are. I’ve thought about it many times, and she’s only eight months old. BUT I believe God gave her to us for reasons we know, reasons we’ll learn as she grows and reasons we may never know.

I also pray that whatever Cate’s perceptive and emotions are will be real to us and we’ll have the wisdom and insight to deal with them appropriately. I’m almost ready to start on her book so her story will be bound in the pages that will be hers.

And, just for the record, “Before You Were Mine” is an excellent resource of questions to ask yourself as an adoptive parent so the information included is thorough. There’s also great scriptures used to help relate the idea of adoption to the way God accepts us into his family.

“From what we could tell they were well adjusted and doing just fine. We could see no signs of pain or loss now nor did we anticipate any in the future. In hindsight, we were naive. We now understand that every adopted child will process her adoption her own way. … What is important is that they know they have a story and that it began at conception, not adoption.”

Any thoughts?

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Filed Under: adoption, books, Cate, quotes

Comments

  1. Shelley says

    January 10, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    i think she’ll really appreciate the book when she’s older. I also think she’ll love the way you all were honest and upfront with her about where she came from and she’ll realize, not just through the book, but through your actions just how much she is loved and wanted. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Heather says

    January 15, 2008 at 3:56 am

    I ditto what Shelley said. She’ll be thankful to know her history when she’s older.

    Reply

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our high school girl who never forgets, our middle school boy who has no fear, and our joy-filled first-grade girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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To live in communion with one another, means to sh To live in communion with one another, means to share meals, space, advice, and prayers. It also means sharing hope, disappointment, dreams, and forgiveness. 

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So many of my Facebook friends shared lovely pictu So many of my Facebook friends shared lovely pictures of their daughters yesterday for the completely made-up National Daughters Day. Regardless, today I'm all in my feelings about my daughters. 

They're 16 and 8 right now. Both of their classes have been studying ancient Egypt and had a joint feast today. Sweet, huh? 

BUT THEN TIMEHOP GOT ME! Apparently, NINE years ago today, when Cate was a second-grader, her class had an Egyptian feast. I think about a particular picture of Cate and her friend Kilee from that day AND THEN IT CAME UP IN MY TIMEHOP TODAY. Facebook also told me that same day nine years ago, Monica and I became Facebook friends. We probably were at the Egyptian feast and decided we'd be friends because our girls were friends. Y'all, God has been so good to me through my friendship with Monica. Our families click in a special way with our three sets of same-aged kids, most of whom have been adopted. 

Anyway, my daughters. They're lovely, funny, and smart. I love that Cate helped Rachel with her Egyptian eye makeup this morning and made her a Nutella and banana sandwich. I love that they got to have a party today at school together. I love that even though they're eight years apart, they're sisters. 

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You’re a light wherever you go! And you like to You’re a light wherever you go! And you like to go! You’re always making friends, asking about our next adventure, wanting to know what’s next, and talking if you’re not singing. You’re the joy our family needed in 2015 and you continue to be the one who makes us laugh and love better than we did before we knew you. 

... You ask a million questions, know the words to thousands of songs, have so many ideas, and still try to sneak into my bed at night. You say I’m the best snuggler in this family. I’ll take it – and your hugs and love, although the middle of the night will never be my favorite time. 

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