I woke up Sunday morning feeling hardened by disappointments and unmet expectations that had piled up in my mind. I spewed negativity toward my family as I held onto things that weren’t worth holding.
I almost backed out of a commitment because I wanted to hole up in my weariness. But I showered and dressed in record time and gathered my emotions along with all the things I needed to take to church that morning.
We went to serve at a local nursing home. I pushed Rachel around and encouraged her to say hi and blow kisses to people while the rest of my family pushed residents in wheelchairs to the church service in the dining hall. We sat through the church service and I was encouraged by the message of God’s faithfulness to meet us where we are.
I remembered my disappointed and unmet expectations were silly when there was a lady disoriented and lonely in the nursing home hallway. Her crying out for people who were no long with her drowned out my unnecessary worries. I realized I was blaming others for being selfish when really I needed to look inward.
I had to step out of my weary,
hardened ways to see the truth.
And then when we got to our church later that morning, we sang a song I hadn’t heard in years and I knew that one paragraph was for me.
“Take this bread, drink this cup
Know this price has pardoned you
From all that’s hardened you
But it’s going to take some trust”
– From “Trust” by Smalltown Poets
Maybe it’s for you too.
Jesus paid the price so I don’t have to wallow in disappointment and unmet expectations. He’s promised an eternal home where we will all be the best versions of ourselves. So I loosened my grip on the grudges I was keeping and stopped keeping score. I let myself rest in the truth that God is for me and with me.
I’m thankful my hardened ways are softened and pardoned each and every day.
And, yes, I know it’s going to take some trust.
In celebration of my birthday today (!!!) and my virtual porch expansion, I want to give away a goody bag to one of you. Really, I love planning parties and treat bags are one of my favorite parts. If you leave a comment on or link up with this post, you’ll be entered to win. Plus, there will be another entry possible in the #PorchStories Community on Facebook. If you haven’t already joined that group, I hope you will because it’s simply supposed to be a place to encourage each other as we swap stories.
I’ll randomly choose a giveaway winner on Tuesday, May 9.