When I was a kid, I used to love rearranging my bedroom furniture. Somehow I would manage to move the full-sized canopy bed, dresser, and bookshelf/drawer combo around the dark brown carpet all on my own. I’d avoid blocking the three windows that overlooked our backyard and the neighbor’s yard that diagonally separated my yard from one of my best friend’s.
Even then, I liked order. For someone who has long been reluctant to embrace change, I have no idea why rearranging my bedroom furniture was appealing. Perhaps controlling the change was comfortable for my perfectionist ways.
I could fall asleep soundly with my bed in a different place, but anticipating a change in life I don’t have control over could keep me up at night. Yet when we follow Jesus, we have to rearrange our life.
The sermon in church on Sunday included that idea. I’ve been thinking about it since. As soon as our former pastor who still is on the speaking team uttered those words, I was taken back to pushing and pulling my furniture across the carpet.
And I remembered how I’ve dug in my heels so many times. I’ve stalled changes in life because I was afraid of what the new season would bring. I’ve resisted change because I wasn’t in control of what would happen next. I’ve said never to living where I live, a job I loved, quitting said job to be a stay-at-home mom, and enrolling my kids in a private school that turned out to be a perfect fit for us.
Never say never, I know.
Because Jesus may call you to lay down something down or pick up something new or invite someone in or go against what you’ve always known or take steps into the unknown. God doesn’t leave the us the same. He makes us new and continues making us new. He doesn’t leave us in the wilderness but changes us as we journey to the Promised Land.
In December, I had to let go of my desire to adopt a third child. It was bittersweet. It was hard, but it was freeing. Since then, I keep walking by the room I thought we’d make a nursery again. It’s just been sitting there. Empty. Bare.
God laid on my heart the desire to give the room purpose again. So as of Saturday, it’s a guest room. I have no idea if it will forever be a guest room, but this rearranging was necessary for my soul as I follow Jesus. Moving around furniture this time wasn’t as easy, but I’m glad it’s done.
In the process of life, God rearranges our desires and our decisions. He fills our hearts with convictions we never anticipated being important. He perfects us through real life that often looks nothing like we imagined. Sometimes it’s hard, but we’re always better for it.
Like I rested peacefully in that childhood canopy bed of mine wherever it was in my bedroom, I don’t want to be scared to let go. I want to rest in what Jesus has for me, even when it means rearranging my thoughts, desires, dreams and expectations.
I’m joining Jen Ferguson’s Soli Deo Gloria party, Beth Stiff’s Three Word Wednesday and Lyli Dunbar’s Thought-Provoking Thursday.
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